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redshoegirl
member
make a life decision for me :P (loooooong, sorry)
redshoegirl
member
OK, I've been mentally debating this for over a week and still can't come to a decision.
As you all know, I'm SAHMing right now. There's been a steady lack of suitable jobs for me to apply for, and daycare is tight here until children are 24 months old (we could probably find an in-home carer, but for a multitude of reasons I prefer daycare centers, so that's what this refers to). Anyway, because of all of this, Ben and I agreed that I'd SAH until the boys were 2-ish.
Now a job has come up and I'm debating applying for it. I feel like pros and cons are pretty evenly weighted and I just don't know what to do. I know this is long and boring, but if you could read and chime in, I'd appreciate it.
PROS
- this is the first suitable job that's arisen in ~6 months of watching the job market here. I'm nervous that if I don't apply, I'll regret it if nothing better comes along when the boys are 2 years old.
- I enjoy working. I miss the adult interaction and the sense of personal satisfaction and fulfillment.
- the job is tangentially related to the MLS degree I'm working on. Not in libraries, but more on the project management side of information management. This means I'd be well qualified, and would possibly be able to argue that I'd stayed in a semi-related field if I want to re-enter the library world down the track.
- although Ben has said he'll be happy with whatever I choose, I think he secretly wants me to apply, mostly for financial reasons (we're doing fairly well, but of course extra money is always appealing to both of us).
CONS
- although the job is suitable for my skillset, it's also very likely to be boring (it would almost certainly lead to interesting work, but this role itself is pretty blah).
- although I was hesitant about SAH at first, I'm starting to enjoy it - the boys and I are getting into a groove, slowly making friends, etc.
- if I go back to work now, I will probably never SAH again. This makes me worry that I may regret cutting this time with the boys short.
- on a purely selfish and personal level, my weight loss is going really well. There's no reason it can't continue if I'm working, but it won't be as easy or convenient - I would not be able to exercise during the day (not even on a lunch break), and there is only one gym here that's open late at night - and even that's only 2 nights per week. So my weight loss would significantly slow down - not the end of the world, but still kind of a bummer.
OTHER THOUGHTS
I know there's no guarantee I'd actually be offered this job, and even if I was, I don't have to accept. However - I'm not interested in a fishing expedition. Right now in my life, I don't want to go through the process of applying for a job unless I intend to accept it if it's offered. So I don't want to do the "just apply and see" thing - I'd rather come to a decision either way.
The closing date for applications is this Saturday, so I need to decide soon. Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: make a life decision for me :P (loooooong, sorry)
I voted for staying home, since you say the job is just "suitable" and would probably be "boring." If this was potentially your dream job, I'd say go for it, but I personally wouldn't trade the opportunity to SAH for something that was just OK (since it's not a money issue for your family and you're kinda enjoying yourself). The boys will be 2 in just 6 months and you can get more serious about looking for jobs that are good to great then. Why not make the most of this new experience?
If I were feeling really torn by the decision, I would apply and see where that went (and what I could negotiate to make it most supportive of my life and family -- it might also prevent feelings of regret later since you'll know for sure if it would have even worked out), but since you don't want to fish, I say pass. You'll only be "delayed" by half a year and it'll be worth it in lots of ways.
I also voted for SAH for now...
As you said, the plan was to do it until they're 2, which isn't that far away AND personally I think life is too short to have a "blah" job...seriously. Something better will be there when you're ready!
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I agree.
I know our situations aren't the same, but I'm so grateful that I've been able to SAH for the past year. I wish I could SAH until H starts school. I like that we've been able to play, interact, and go about our days sort of at our leisure, without worrying too much about schedules and what V described above.
Thanks for the feedback, everyone! I'm leaning toward skipping...I think the only reason I keep considering applying is because I suspect Ben secretly wants me to (but I also think he's probably not considering that he won't get any more awesome dinners, will have to start doing more house cleaning again, etc.).
It's hard to find places in daycare centers, which is what I would strongly prefer. We could probably find someone who runs a small daycare out of their home without too many hassles. If I got a job, we'd do that until places freed up at a center.
i also chose SAH. i think the pros you listed aren't very strong, with the exception of you missing work. inline.
- this is the first suitable job that's arisen in ~6 months of watching the job market here. I'm nervous that if I don't apply, I'll regret it if nothing better comes along when the boys are 2 years old.
yes, but it's boring. if there's this job, there will be others in the future.
- the job is tangentially related to the MLS degree I'm working on. Not in libraries, but more on the project management side of information management. This means I'd be well qualified, and would possibly be able to argue that I'd stayed in a semi-related field if I want to re-enter the library world down the track.
i don't think this will have a big impact when/if you decide to re-enter the library world. it's not like you're planning to SAH for 5-10 years - i think a short hiatus when you have young kids is not uncommon.
- although Ben has said he'll be happy with whatever I choose, I think he secretly wants me to apply, mostly for financial reasons (we're doing fairly well, but of course extra money is always appealing to both of us).
this is a nice-to-have, but not necessary
on the other hand, you can continue your weight-loss under the best possible circumstances, and enjoy this time with your boys - you'll never again have an opportunity like this to step away from the rat race, guilt-free (since you'd already decided to SAH until they're 2), and really embrace this time with them. => that's priceless.