Those with teenager SK
GHBEA
member
Okay my DH has a son who is almost 16 my DD is 17. DH keeps pushing DD into getting a job saying "did you apply here or there, my dad said there are help wanted signs at so and so place" Not once does he tell this to his son.
Both of the children have chores at home that they do so it isn't an issue that he feels his son does more or less. His main thing he tells me all the time is "my father worked us so hard growing up I don't want that for my son" yet why does he push my DD into getting a job?
BTW where my oldest DD who is 20 works they have openings and are desperate for people and siblings can work together. SS says "Oh I need my time to rest and they will want me to work weekends and I wont get to play my games or rest" I told him that his father works over 50 hours a week then works on the weekends with out him helping how much do you think your dad wants to have at least a few hours of rest"
What have any of you done to get through this?
Re: Those with teenager SK
Does your DD want to get a job? How are her grades, because that would be the one thing I would worry about is if she got a job, if it would have any effect on her schooling.
It honestly doesn't make sense to me that your H would push your DD to get a job and not his son. What is the reasoning behind that?
I have a 20 year old son (he will be 20 on 10/20) and the kid hasn't worked a freaking day in his life. I will be the first person to say that he is lazy. I didn't push him to get a job while in high school, and I really regret not doing so. Incase you're currious, since he is an adult, doesn't want to work or go to school, he no longer lives in our house.
My SS is only 13, so he is too young to get a job, but he always talks about wanting to get a job when he is old enough, so I think that is good motivation, but for him, he does terrible in school, so I am not sure how that is work.
She does well in school and would like to get a job. We live in a little town so there really are not many jobs available. I refuse to drive her to another town to make minimum wage.
His reasoning is that he doesn't want to be the dad his father was to him. get the kids up on weekends and working them all day 6am to 7pm, and working when they got home on chores. He doesn't want his son to feel over worked.
We do not buy them extra things like make up and video games etc, they have to earn the money for these.
School comes first in our house so if there was ever an issue with school and working then it's school.
I don't know I just get really confused with all of it,
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That was what I was thinking when you said your DD wanted to get a job. Maybe he thinks he is helping her by telling her of places he saw that were hiring?? IDK.
I should have added he has told both of them they need to get jobs last May before school got out. DH has problems with being a father then being a step father, he doesn't know how to parent his son but I think he sees me being a strong parent with my DDs so maybe he thinks it's ok to push my DD and not his son. He has never made his son do anything because it's easier then having to hear SS whine and complain. Now that he lives with us full time DH needs to be a better father and not just the guy to hang out with during visitation.
I think I just figured out the answer to my own question........