Community› The Bump Message Boards› Success after IF
Success after IF
New Discussion
Options

"Maybe we'll go to the park tomorrow"

LIAngelLIAngel member
in Success after IF

Is what DH just said to me on the phone.  He's at work now and called to ask what time the kids' well checks are tomorrow.  I said 10:30 and then after that I'm going back to work and you can take them home.   He said "well maybe we'll go to the park".  I said "Uh yeah sure" (he has never taken them anywhere alone and actually has never taken just Nicholas to the park).    I will be extremely shocked if he does go to the park.  

Wish him luck if he does.  

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: "Maybe we'll go to the park tomorrow"

  • Options
    mrsolsenk12mrsolsenk12
    GL to him. My dh has taken hayden and my 3 neices (7 and twin 5 year olds) to the park and he said it was crazy. Granted none of them are babies so maybe that will help him.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    LIAngelLIAngel member
    I'll probably tell him which is the more toddler friendly park (there is one that is fenced in and the stuff to climb on isn't that high).   Tell him to take them right after Ava has been fed and changed (that way he doesn't have to worry about that while at the park).  
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Options
    mrsolsenk12mrsolsenk12
    imageLIAngel:
    I'll probably tell him which is the more toddler friendly park (there is one that is fenced in and the stuff to climb on isn't that high).   Tell him to take them right after Ava has been fed and changed (that way he doesn't have to worry about that while at the park).  
    Those are great ideas. I am sure Nicholas loves it. Hayden adores the park, especially if other kids are around.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    sommerraynesommerrayne
    Not to sound like a hag but I wouldn't blame him for not aspiring to accomplish/handle/survive more. You sound like you have no confidence in him or his ability (in your original posts on the subject which have been a few in the past days). I'm not harping on you, just noting your tone is very defeatist with him and his efforts. "Wish him luck" - its not our part to wish him luck - how about encouaging words? How about helping him make lists of what to get ready before leaving (like while the kids nap or the night before) so getting out of the house isn't so overwhelming? How about tips and tricks as to what you do to adapt to 2 kids? How about "You know what babe, I really know its hard. Somedays there only option is surviving but I really think that you're doing a great job! I know Nicolas would love to go to the park, even if it was for 30 mins and I know you can do it! Is there anything you need from me to help it be a smashing success?"

    Its a slippery slope. Words become thoughts, thoughts become beliefs, beliefs become actions, actions become habits and habits become character.....I know you think so much more of your husband than what you share in these posts about his SAHD abilities. I understand that they might be a bit tongue and cheek because guys don't "cope" the way women do (and they complain WAY more than we do). They don't always seem to have that inner drive to make things happen without a lot of outside leadership.

    I guess my question is, are you helping his efforts or hurting his efforts with the way you think about him and his efforts?

    I think so highly of you (if I didn't give 2 hoots, I wouldn't dedicate time holding a bottle with my chin and typing this mainly with 1 hand - if I didn't care, I'd roll my eyes and move on) and I would want someone to give me some perspective....

    HUGS LADY! This mama/wife/"being everyone's cheerleader" thing is the hardest gig out there!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"