Talk to me about a homebirth......
I have been under the care of the same midwives who delivered my son (natural hospital birth) and while I am happy with my care and I know that they do support me 100% in my wish for a natural delivery I have been thinking ALOT about the possibility of a homebirth.
SO.... if you've had a homebirth or are planning a homebirth what are some of your reasons, what made you SURE that you wanted a homebirth?
I know my husband is worried about the "mess" and I know one of my concerns is not having the ability to send the baby to the nursery and not have any downtime while I am recovering (since I have 3 other young kids) I only stayed at the hospital for 36 hours after I delivered my son but that time to re-coup w/o my other kids around was definitely nice. I LOVE That the midwives at home would let me bond and nurse my baby for an hour or so before doing any of the necessary tests, but It was nice to have that time to take a shower, or take an hour long nap w/o my other kids running around.
So.... I guess I would just love to hear people's thoughts, experiences, etc.... as my DH and I make this decision (and rather quickly as Im already 31 weeks). I spoke to one midwife just now who will take my insurance and said that b/c I've already had one natural delivery she would be ok taking me on as a client this late but that I should make my decision soon.
Sorry if this got long thanks so much if you've read this far!
Re: Talk to me about a homebirth......
We're going the homebirth route because in this area finding a provider who will consider a VBA2C mom is nearly impossible...the one I could find I couldn't stand and his office skeeved me out, to be blunt.
I was sure I didn't want to have another super-medicalized birth and get pushed into another dubiously necessary cesarean. Birth center wasn't an option. So that left home birth.
There is really not that much mess in home birth. It's not like your midwife leaves you sitting in a pool of blood with the placenta in your hands. Your attendants should clean most of the birth mess up for you and anything that is left will pretty much be what you would have to deal with once you got home from the hospital anyway (e.g. pads).
Good luck with whatever you decide!
LMAO!
Anyway, I was in a very similar situation. I saw a group of midwives who deliver out of a natural-birth friendly hospital for most of my pregnancy with DS. I LOVED them, and yet, I kept finding myself returning to the idea of homebirth.
I finally switched to homebirth at 36 weeks. Some of the big reasons:
- The hospital was 30 mins away from our house, with no traffic. (There is a hospital less than 5 mins away, but it has a VERY bad reputation for NB-friendliness.) I didn't want to make that drive while in labor.
- It also complicated postpartum arrangements, especially with regards to DD (who was 2.5 at the time). I wanted DH at the hospital as much as possible, but we also didn't really have anyone to watch DD while he was there. And with a 30-minute drive between her and me/DS, he couldn't exactly pop back and forth easily.
- I also wanted DD to be involved in the birth itself, in a way that was both meaningful AND comfortable for her. I didn't feel like that would be possible in a hospital. They aren't exactly the friendliest places for a toddler to hang out...
- Although my hospital was NB-friendly, it was still... well, a hospital. It had its silly rules and regulations, such as not being able to eat/drink during labor and not being able to refuse eye ointment. That wouldn't have been a dealbreaker on its own, but in combination with everything else, it really made me think about whether there might be someplace else I could give birth that might fit me better.
- Finally, I just had a gut feeling that DS needed to be born at home. I can't really explain it, but it was just a feeling that this was the right place for him to come into this world. And it was!
Regarding arrangements for DD, DH took the first week off work and basically took care of her. Of course, she came in to "visit" DS and me frequently, but if I wanted to take a shower or an hour-long nap, I just did it. If I hadn't had that help from him (or another family member, or friend, or postpartum doula), I might have stuck with the hospital
But I absolutely loved my homebirth, and would never plan any other kind of birth. The only reason I'd go back to the hospital to give birth is if I had to for medical reasons.
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
Wedding 6.18.04 Cole 11.20.06 Gavin 3.31.08 Parker 07.15.10 Logan 04.03.12
Then I realized that it wouldn't matter if I couldn't find a HB MW in our middle of nowhere area. So I searched online and found one. I called to set up an appt.
DH and I went to talk to her. We both really liked her. And I took a deep breath and agreed to a HB.
Really though, it just seemed to fit with our vision of how we wanted the birth to go if possible.
As for the mess, the MW cleaned most of it up. She even started a load of laundry. We did need to do a second load, but really, what's one more load of laundry?
Would you have your other kids stay at home while you labor and deliver this LO? We will most likely have J. stay with a neighbor while I labor/deliver this LO. DH will then go get him once we've had a little time with just LO #2.
Everything I wanted for myself and my child was an uphill battle at the hospital and the norm at home. The only birthing center in my area is associated with a hospital and was still under their regulations, so I pretty much felt that it was in the same league as a hospital birth.
I can now safely say that I would have ended up with an unnecessary c-section at the hospital for a number of reasons- my DD was post date (past 42 weeks), posterior, my water was broken for over 24 hours, I did not progress in the standard fashion and my baby was "big." I am forever grateful to have been able to have my DD at home and am very much looking forward to the birth of my second DD.
There was no mess other than towels to be washed. My MWs cleaned everything else up...and my Mom washed the towels...which all came out perfect thanks to OxiClean.
I don't know about your practice, but my hospital will let us keep baby for at least 2 hours after the birth so that we can cuddle and nurse. Or they'll take her whenever we're ready, it's up to us.
The reason I decided against a home birth is that I can have the birth experience I want in the hospital setting. That said, I know that's not true for everyone. You have to decide if the possible risks outweigh the benefits. imho, if you can get the care you want/need at the hospital, it's safer. If you can't see yourself having that birth experience there, then consider a home birth or birth center.
Have you had a discussion about your wants with your hospital?
I was raised around home birth. My mom had her last 6 kids at home (6 of 9) and is now a licensed midwife in the state of california. With my first pregnancy, she brought up the option of having a home birth, but i wanted to know how my body was going to react to the L&D so i had my daughter in the hospital. Everything went fine, given the circumstances.
With this one, im going to attempt a home birth, fulling knowing that if something happens or goes wrong, my mom will get me to the hospital right away. I trust her and her knowledge and i think that's the most important thing.
Thank you everyone for your thoughts/experiences/opinions etc.
I have talked with one homebirth midwife who is going to come to the house for an interview with DH and I next Wednesday. DH is still REALLY weary of the whole idea but the more I think about it the more onboard I am-
I will keep you posted!
I decided I was sure I wanted a homebirth because it just felt the most right. It's not that I didn't have a fine hospital natural birth experience with DD, but there were a few things that I didn't like about it and homebirth just seemed to feel right to me after looking into it. DH was initially against the idea, then was open to at least interviewing some midwives, and gradually came to be comfortable with it. His concerns centered around safety and mess. He got his safety concerns addressed by asking questions of the midwives and listening to what I had to say about what the research shows (he's not one to do his own reading on it).
We rented a birth tub and I birthed our son in it, so the mess was basically self-contained in something that was only in our house temporarily. I think he would have been the type to prefer not to walk by the family room floor and think "yeah, I remember when the placenta and a bunch of blood were all over there"... With the birth tub, the place that had any mess was no longer there.
Of course, the midwives cleaned up well as the others have said. Between our midwives and doula, the laundry was going and they'd made us breakfast before they left. DH did have to empty the birth tub by connecting a pump to a hose to exit via the toilet, and then dumping out the last of it but that didn't seem to bother him much. Now he is a big fan of homebirth and would do it again in a heartbeat if we have more kids.
My aunt took our daughter (3.5 years old) for most of the day that DS was born, and my parents helped out in the days following here and there. Other than that, DH handled our older child while I just hung with the baby and nursed and slept. He was a very chill baby...maybe being born at home helped that, who knows. If you have family/friends around who can help with the older kids and to hold the baby once in awhile while you snooze, that works great. If not, you could look into hiring a post-partum doula and babysitters for the days following.
Thank you SO much for your post I can relate SO much to everything that you said from your previous natural birth hospital experience to our DH's hesitation over the idea of a HB. Mine has just this morning come around to setting up a few interviews with HB midwives and I also think that he feels the same as your DH with the whole "mess" issue that if he had to sleep in our bed every night and think omg that is where the placenta came out etc... he would be wierded out. I would like a water birth anyway so that sounds like the PERFECT solution as like you said the "mess" would be contained and then gone.
As for the older kids I have a good friend who lives 5 minutes away who has already offered to watch them while I am in the hospital so Im sure that she'd take them for a HB too. Ideally I would do most of my laboring at night and could just labor while they are asleep which is better than having to wake them up and take them to her house if I were to go to the hospital and my mom will be here for 2 weeks from week 39-41 so HOPEFULLY I'll have the baby shortly before she arrives or while she's here so she can help out with the older kids!
Anyway Im rambling now, I just wanted to thank you for your post as it really rings true with my feelins and DH's feelings about this decision