Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Suggestions for delayed consequences for 3 yo?
Does she ever watch cartoons? Taking my DD's evening toon away is like torture for her.
Ds mostly has a bad day when he's tired or been off schedule. If he's been disobedient at school (ie. hitting, pushing, not being a good listener) then he gets "on yellow" at school. If he gets on yellow at school, we come home and he's not allowed to play with any toys. He is allowed to sit quietly and read while I make dinner. We eat dinner as a family and then he goes directly to the bath (we remove all bath toys) and then goes to bed without us reading him a book prior to bed. This works well because he HATES not being able to play when we come home and he HATES when we don't read to him before bed.
We don't do any of this in anger, it's more of a "You must be tired since you weren't able to concentrate and be a good listener today. Because of that, we will read quietly when you get home and go to bed early to allow you to catch up on your rest and have a better day tomorrow". He usually whines and melts down on the way home (more evidence he needs rest) and then complies when we get there.
At school, his teachers instituted a "Treasure Box" and asked the parents to contribute. We all brought some trinkets (bouncy balls, hair clips, plastic cars, sticky frogs, crazy straws, plastic animals, etc) from like the dollar store or the party favor section at walmart. They put them in the treasure box and if the kids stay on green all day, they get to pick a treasure each day. They LOVE getting to shop at the treasure box. He loves those junky toys and loves being able to come home and show his dad what he earned that day. It's been a great positive reinforcement of good behavoir.
One thing you should consider is that she might not be ready for preschool. If she continues like this for a couple more weeks i would consider pulling her out and starting again next spring or fall.
I agree with this. I'm not sure this warrants something as serious as taking a toy away or a timeout, especially since this is developmentally understandable.
However, in general I could have written what you did about timeouts not working, taking toys away (he also offers more of them to me!), etc. But, just lately we HAVE been taking away his favorite bedtime comfort stuffed animals. It really is the only thing that seems to faze him at all and make him think about his actions. I will be honest--the first time was pretty tough. He cried for a long time about how sad he was, etc. and we reminded him that if he had made a better choice (his was for hitting his sister), he would have them at bedtime. Once he got in bed, he was fine and seemed to understand a bit more the gravity of it. We have done it a few times since. It seems to be losing its effectiveness a bit now (he'll just grab another stuffed animal and be fine), but the threat of taking them away seems to help and bit and stop him from the bad behavior (again, usually hurting his sister).
ditto spenjamins, I'd have a hard time discipling a 3 yo for wandering off/not sitting in circle time regardless, but doing it HOURS later seems even more useless. Now if she was doing something genuinely dangerous or hurtful, I could see taking a harder line, but seriously. .. . she's 3, she has 5 minute attention span.
I think the teacher needs to adjust her expectations especially for a kid just starting school.
3yr old are too young for delayed consequences. My son has some behavior issues due to autism, we have a social worker come to the house for an hour each week to help me with his behavior issues. This is one thing she talks about that she sees teachers do a lot at the school age level and it doesn't work because even at 5-6 yrs old even normal kids are ready for such a delayed consequence for anything. I don't believe these are issues the preschool should be expecting YOU to fix as the parent who isn't there, these are issues that THEY should be fixing then and there. That is really what preschool is about, learning to be part of the group, play with peers, things like that. I would probably look for a different program if it were my child.
One of my twins was distracting other kids during circle time. The teacher gave him a book to read and that seemed to help that day. We chatted about the situation and now, if he is being distracting, he sits next to circle time, at a table and reads a book. He has also been moved to the back row so if he moves around or lays down, the other kids don't notice. He is one of the youngest one in his classroom and this is their first time in a structured environment so I'm not surprised he was resistant at first!