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"No babies yet?"

Lexilynn345Lexilynn345 member
in TTC After a Loss

Quote from an old co worker I ran into today. 

What I wanted to respond with: "No, we have been trying and I keep miscarrying in traumatizing, bloody messes.  Then, I cry and obsess about all of it for a few months after, rinse and repeat.  Thank you so much for asking, I had actually just gone 4 minutes without thinking about when we will have a baby."

Actual response: "Nope, DH and I are enjoying our freedom!" 

Ughhh, people are so unfeeling and nosy sometimes!

BabyFruit Ticker <a href="http://s1152.photobucket.com/albums/p492/ktrue85/Due in June/?action=view
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Re: &amp;quot;No babies yet?&amp;quot;

  • kellydNCkellydNC
    I hate this question.  I also hate when you say, "No, no kids yet" (which is what I always say) and they respond, "Oh, well its no picnic!" or "Oh, no rush, enjoy it!"  I have learned so much about how we need to be sensitive to others' situations through this whole process.  I feel like I want to go back and apologize to everyone I've ever asked about their TTC journey.  I'm sure those questions are innocent in their intent, but man, they sure go straight to the heart don't they?  Hugs to you.
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  • hopeful16hopeful16 member

    *frustrating* I certainly can relate.

    I walked into the bank and the bank teller said to me, "No babies yet?"

    My jaw dropped. I couldn't say anything but, "No"

    As soon as I walked out I called my husband and let out what I really wanted to say - I was shaking, I was so upset!

     Sorry you had to deal with that today... or any day!

     

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    "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it" 
    --Helen Keller 

    4 miscarriages: Nov 2009,  Jan 2011, Sept 2011,  Oct 2012
    IVF Round 1:
    3/4/15: Egg Retrieval
    16 Eggs Retrieved -- 15 Fertilized via ICSI -- 10 Blastocysts Biopsied for PGD & PGS -- 2 (male) Blastocysts Remain for Transfer
    5/13/15: FET -- 5/26/15: BFN
    CANCELLED IVF Round 2.

    Living a happy, child-free life with my best friend.
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  • AngnShaunAngnShaun

    I know exactly how you fee... and i kinda love your what i wanted to respond with response... i might have to hold onto that one and use it... right now i dont even say anything when people ask... i just walk away! 

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  • EveanynEveanyn member
    I hatehatehate this question! It seems almost as if they're taunting you. ((hugs)) I'm sorry you had to deal with this question.
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  • ErDrLadyErDrLady
    What an ass.  I hate how people just assume that ttc is their business and is so easy for everyone.  Sorry that you had that experience.  I applaud you on your self control though - i went the other way with my answer the other day :0P
    BFP #1 8/1/11 Missed MC 9/09/11 D&C 9/10/11 (appx 9w4d) BFP#2 11/13/11 !!! EDD 7/29/12 BabyFetus Ticker
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  • DanaLynn18DanaLynn18 member
    YES! I hate this question, and inevitably it comes up freqently at work! Ugh! Sorry you had to deal with that today! I think such similar things when it comes to the response I want to give.  One day, it's just gonna come out...emotional, raw, and completely honest!  With the way word spreads at my work, I'm sure that will be the end of that question!  Hmm, something for me to think about!
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  • ella.mabelella.mabel member

    Ooh, that makes my blood boil when people say stuff like that.  People need to be taught proper manners.

    I'm sorry she upset you so much.  She's an idiot.  ((hugs to you))

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  • Kasi80Kasi80 member
    *sigh*  I think if it ever comes up I will tell that person straight out that I m/c so maybe they'll learn never ever to ask again.
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  • Lexilynn345Lexilynn345 member

    imagekellydNC:
    I have learned so much about how we need to be sensitive to others' situations through this whole process.  I feel like I want to go back and apologize to everyone I've ever asked about their TTC journey.  I'm sure those questions are innocent in their intent, but man, they sure go straight to the heart don't they?  

    SO true!  I never really considered miscarriage as common issue, much less a painful and emotional thing that could make someone hurt when you ask questions like that...before now.  But, I still wasn't going around asking people I barely know intimate questions like that.  I totally get it now!

    BabyFruit Ticker <a href="http://s1152.photobucket.com/albums/p492/ktrue85/Due in June/?action=view
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  • dragontears507dragontears507 member
    People suck. Sorry. :(
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    PCOS--TTC since 11/2010:   
    5 cycles of Clomid: all BFN, 1 cycle of Follistim:CP
    1 year break thanks to deployment.
    1 cycle Follistim: BFN, Lap to remove peritubal cyst May 2013
    2 cycles Follistim + trigger: BFN, Gonal F +IUI April 2014: BFP!!!!!! 

    Boy/Girl Twins due Jan 5, 2015!!! 


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