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April 2012 Moms
Question about making ends meet, need advice...(long)
DH and I bring home about the same amount. I am up for a small raise now and then again for my yearly in Feb. but we are having issues making ends meet right now because we took on two notes (vehicle and a mortgage) moderate vehicle note we are used to paying, but because of my greedy-a$$ SILs, we had to take a mortgage out on our home...which we are not used to paying for and it ended up being a good bit more than we budgeted for monthly in the early stages.
Anyway, my point is....I cannot take a 2nd job at this point. I do graphic design on the side, but I have done it all pro-bono for friends and family and non-profits. I am considering charging, but I just don't know how much time I want to devote to it and what I would possibly charge. I was considering moving companies, but I feel it wouldn't be fair to do while pregnant (and high-risk) and I should probably wait until I am more rational anyway to make a job-move. I love the company I work for, but it all comes down to money.
DH refuses to accept very lucrative offers travelling because he doesn't want to be away and he has been "looking" for something else for quite a while, but has yet to fill out one app or turn in a resume because he doesn't want to take a small initial (90-days at best) paycut. I know he works hard and it isn't his fault that his company has cut hours to avoid paying OT, but I think he's being lazy and complacent about this and it's just easier for him to ignore the money issues we have.
We have cut every possible corner because it isn't worth paying the bills late, even temporarily.
Am I being irrational that I expect DH to man up and take a job out of town or take on a 2nd job until we're back in a good spot? If I were not pregnant and solely responsible for DD#1's EVERYTHING, I would do it myself. I worked two full-time jobs and went to school full-time to get through college, so I am not scared of work, I just feel like he should be doing more to contribute to this family.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading. 
DD#1 11.7.07 - DD#2 11.2.10 (3rd Tri Loss)- DD#3 4.18.12
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Question about making ends meet, need advice...(long)
First, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this now. Money stress is one of the worst feelings ever.
Tell your DH what you said here. I think he really needs to do whatever her needs to do for your family. If that means working 3 jobs or working out of town then do it. I hope everything gets better soon.
I think it's so hard to have compassion for husbands with work situations because I really do think that they should work as hard as they need to so that us women don't have to...
So, I think you're totally justified in feeling how you do and my DH is also struggling with the job situation so I know how you feel. However, I think it's easy to overly stress about it and it might not be worth it...
Good luck to you, I know it's hard!
If he doesn't want to be away from the family I can understand that and it seems like you are being as frugal as possible. Is there anyway he can do seasonal work on the weekends? It would only be temp and would get you over the hurdle until you get your raise. IRT your graphic work, I bet your friends and family would understand if you charged them a nominal fee. Every $20 helps.
I don't know, I don't think it's fair for you to expect Hubby to take a 2nd job or work far away if he wants to be close. But you guys will have to talk about it before you get too deep in the hole.
I'd say maybe you could consider selling the house and moving into something you CAN afford the mortgage to? Hubby and I made sure before purchasing the house that if one of us lost our jobs we could manage the mortgage on one salary. It would be very hard, but we could do it.
The car is another thing, could you sell and buy a cheaper one?
Also just watching expenses day to day. Since we both work right now and aren't struggling I don't worry too much about expenses but I know many things we could cut back on immediately if the need arose. Eating out, in any form - even buying breakfast/lunch or a coffee etc. those things add up really quickly. A single dinner out, nowhere too fancy even, can cost half a weeks grocery bill easily. Taking public transit or taxis anywhere. Even just cutting down on gas by driving less. Maybe try riding bicycles around? that's free transport.
you should certainly start charging for your graphic design work. Explain that with the baby coming, financially things are tight so you'll be charging a minimal fee for your services. Ask friends/family to spread the word and maybe pick up a couple of paying gigs for design. You can make a great hourly rate and just do 5-10 extra hours per week if you like.
I'm sorry it sounds like the situation really stinks. I would just try to have a very frank conversation with him about how stressed you are about the money and how you really feel he needs to take on a 2nd job (part-time) or find something better for his full-time right away.
You guys are already budgeting and working hard to cut costs but you need more income and right now he is the only one that can help with that.
Yup! We took his financial peace class and learned more than I knew there was to learn about finances. He definitely helps to take a lot of stress out of a finances and therefore our marriage.
Love this!
Thank you ladies, for all your answers. We have a girl I work with coming this weekend (she is like Mrs. Super Budget I am told) to look over what we have coming in and going out and plot us out a course. She's a Dave Ramsey fanatic, so we'll see how it goes.