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Hawaii Babies
at what age is it considered spoiling...?
So a f/u to the sleeping post... since my ILs are here, A gets held a lot. Like pretty much for hours on end. Of course, he then SLEEPS for hours on end (think 3 hour nap when being carried). I know they say you can't spoil a newborn by holding them too much, but at what age should I worry? Will he outgrow this on his own?
ETA: I should add I'm tempted to just carry/wear him so he naps then he's not such a MONSTER from 4pm til bedtime... and he won't fight us so much to sleep at night...
cai(o)&cullen+ahk
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Re: at what age is it considered spoiling...?
I think you don't even need to THINK about this until your LO is closer to 2! Seriously. Hold/Hug/Cuddle as much as possible now...keep baby close...when he becomes more mobile he'll naturally progress to needing/wanting it less and less.
If you don't already have a baby carrier, I highly suggest getting one. I had a DIY Moby-style wrap and I swear Libby was in it about 18 hours/day most days in the first few months. Then, gradually, less and less. But I still wore her alot until she was crawling and more mobile around 6-7 months. Using a carrier is great because you can be "hands free" and get stuff done while meeting baby's need to be held/cuddled.
Now that Libby is 20 months it's rare that she'll let me hold her for long...although she does want to be carried and does ask by saying "hold you?" or "up, please!" I've been working with her sometimes though when she makes these requests and get her to hold my hand and walk...but this is mainly because I am 24 weeks PG and get tired from trying to carry her for too long. Most kids naturally outgrow this with age...so, if you have 2 year old that wants to be CONSTANTLY held/carried, well then I think you can "worry" some...but really, I don't think physical contact with a child, AT ANY AGE, is to be considered spoiling...I honestly don't.
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Phew. That's good to know. I guess I was worried become dependent on being held in order to sleep for longer than 15 minutes. But for now, I will cuddle away (I love his smell!)!
ETA: I should add that perhaps "spoiling" wasn't the correct word.
These days? Let me put it this way: last night I was thinking about how I missed them at 9 months old, solely because I used to get to snuggle them for hours every day...and now it's maybe 1 hour total (if that!). They want to race around and play, so unless I chase them down for a cuddle, all I get is the occasional hug-and-run. They're just not interested in holding still for that long anymore! *sniffle*
So I wouldn't worry about it, because generally speaking kids will outgrow the need/want to be constantly held, and because your LO is VERY young and really not capable of manipulation/spoiling at this age. Don't stress - you're doing a great job!
I wore A a ton (not for naps at home, but all the time when we were out, which was A LOT), and although he isn't the world's greatest sleeper, I don't regret a thing and am pretty confident that wearing him around isn't the cause... but it IS probably why he is so loving, cuddly and responsive to us. ;-) He also was walking from 9.5 months and then naturally was on me a lot less then.
Personally, I think that grandparents can get a special pass if what they're doing is not the new norm -- like we don't really sweat it if they deviate a bit from our routines when they watch him, since it's not too frequent. It's good for their bonding and kinda what grandparents get to do. Hope you all enjoy this special time together!
I remember reading this Babycenter article on this very subject just before Hank was born.
I kind of wish I wore Hank more when he was an infant. He didn't really seem to take very well to it and he's a really sweaty baby. He'd get fussy because of our body heat. But everything turned out just fine.