I could really use a break
CaptainSerious
member
Today we met with the women who did M's educational evaluation. And, contrary to what she told me before, she now believes that M has dyslexia.
Sucker punch.
If she had told me this three weeks ago, when I expected to hear it, I would have been relieved. I would have had a diagnosis to go forward with, to get him the specialized help he needs. But instead, she told me he shared many of the symptoms, but she thought he didn't have it; she thought he needed the same types of extra help, but that he could get caught-up and that this would be a thing we dealt with and moved passed. Instead, now she's saying that it's likely not just a delay, but actually dyslexia.
I know nothing's really changed. I know he has the same issues he had yesterday.
I also now that I've spent the last three weeks trying to find the type of specialized tutor he needs and only resulted in dead-ends. I feel like I can't find him the help he desperately needs, and to add to it, his teacher just keeps telling me how well he's doing and how hard he works. I know she literally loves him (she's the woman who tutored him for free all last year), but when I tell her that we've identified a problem, she just tells me that he's not lazy and that he's improved so much since last year.
I KNOW that. I'd never say my kid's lazy. He's the hardest working kid around. He's in 2nd grade, and does 2 hours of school work each night just to stay afloat. That's not normal. He's so frustrated and thinks he's dumb--and he's NOT. He's SO smart. He just can't read and has no short-term memory.
His teacher She just wants to modify his work so that she can pass him into 3rd grade...but he's probably really 10 years old, and has a reading ability somewhere between kindergarten and 1st grade, so that's not really my concern. I want someone who understands how his brain works to help him read, do math, understand time concepts, and actually learn--even if it's behind schedule--so that he can make some progress and regain his confidence.
We're all just so over it. We're getting to the point of feeling defeated. I can't even find him an effective, available tutor. We can't put him in a school where he'd get more special services until the 2nd adoption is complete, and that's up in the air now, too. I just keep telling him that we understand that he's having a hard time, but that it's because he learns differently and not because he's dumb, and that we're going to find someone who can help him learn more easily, and it all just seems like empty promises, because I've been saying it for so long with no results.
I need a win. WE need a win. I really, really could use a referral, so we can go and return from Peru and transition into the one-language household all the experts are telling us is necessary and figure out what school and system will work best for M. I need a break. It's time.
Re: I could really use a break
PAL/PGAL Welcome
Captain - I'm sorry this has been so difficult. Can I ask - are you looking on your own for tutors or did you go through the district? I just wondered if they might be able to 'steer' you towards someone who could meet M's needs.
I used to work in NJ (in an elementary school) and one of my friends was an English Language Learner teacher. She worked with students who had different needs and were learning English. She would see the kids for a few hours each day (during the regular school day.) Does your son's district have a program like that?
Also if he was diagnosed with dyslexia (or is soon) he should qualify for other services in your district - like time throughout his day with a Resource Room teacher who could work with him in a smaller group setting. (Does he already see this type of teacher?)
I'm thinking of you. You have so much on your plate right now. I hope a break comes along very soon.
Thanks, everyone.
At this point, if we get the match today, it really would be a miracle. I just got the written copy of the "observations" (request for information) the Peruvian authorities made on our file two weeks ago. It appears they actually asked for a third thing, which our lawyer didn't tell us about. I don't know if this was an oversight or if he somehow already took care of it without getting us involved, but right now, I'm thinking we won't be considered because this piece of information was missing. I pray I'm wrong, but it really would be a miracle.
Art, M's currently in a private school, because they could better serve him for his ESL. Unfortunately, their special education services pale in comparison to the public school system, so we're now wrestling with the decision of whether to move him for the better services or keep him where he's comfortable and they are working really well with him, especially in light of all the upheaval that's about to happen within our family.
I'm sorry your lawyer didn't tell you about the 3rd ting. I hope that you get the miracle you need and you'll be considered.
Oh, okay...you did talk about M's school before. You probably said it was a private school. I didn't remember. I can see where it would be a tough decision to move him, especially if he's comfortable.
Thinking of you - hope things work out.
Okay, so I just got a bit of good news. It seems that our lawyer did take care of the third observation, and just didn't mention it to us because it was already handled.
So now, we're back to hoping beyond hope that they approved us and will grant us the match today.
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
Will the lawyer be the one to call you? Did he give you any indication when he might call? I am SO happy for you that he took care of the 3rd part - that's great news.
Nah. The lawyer's in Peru. I'll find out because after each matching session, they post the (non-identifying) results on the web. We know that we're the only ones from our agency who requested to adopt J, so if his number shows up as being referred to our agency, we'll know it's us.
Officially, they will tell our lawyer, who will inform our caseworker, who will call us, but in reality, we should know as soon as the results go live.
I was just checking in with you did you hear whether or not you had been matched today Captain you've been in my thoughts all day