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I feel like a bad mum :( Vent

ai&Jasai&Jas member
in Working Moms

Eh I suck- I was going to go to my DD 9 month Dr's check up with DH but i couldnt make it because i had so many deadlines and kept trying to leave but couldnt! DH had the day off so he took her but I wanted to be there for it. As it turns out the Dr called me when they were there because Alyssa has not been gaining weight since her 6 month visit and dropped from the 10th percentile to the 3rd percentile!! I'm petite and she's petite but its made me feel really sad! I did notice that she hasnt been taking as many bottles at daycare but she reverse feeds and nurses at night and in the morning. I also started her on table foods because she hates baby mush and she has been eating some of that. She's more active now crawling and cruising and she has been sick a few times since her 6 months so thats part of it. We now have another appointment in 1 month to check on her weight.  

Anyway I just wanted to vent. I actually wonder if my milk is not as nutrious as before because i'm not eating as healthy as i was months ago! URGH. I love my baby and hope she gains weight! Compared to other illnesses and issues out there this is pretty small but i just cant help but feel that I am responsible for this.

Thanks for listening!

 

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Re: I feel like a bad mum :( Vent

  • marrymemylovemarrymemylove member

    DON'T feel bad. You're doing great.

    DS ate like a pig for the whole 15 months I breastfed, but never made the 50th percentile (quite). Yet our neighbour's son born a month later ate like a sparrow and was in the 80th.

    And DH and I are definitely above average size.

    Hope it goes well in a month!

    BTW where are you from? You called yourself mum and I've never seen an American do that.?

    ?

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  • dmsndmsn

    I've always wondered if FF babies made those numbers skewed. Ya know? For some reason, I thought I read somewhere that FF babies tend to weigh more.

     Anyhow, you're not a bad mommy!

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  • marrymemylovemarrymemylove member

    pp is right - the charts are mostly drawn on 30 year old data and in the 1970s most bbies were FF. FF babies grow more at first then even out as older kids. Think about it - bf babies get only colostrum for up to a week then they get bm which they work hard to get out. FF babies get thick heavy calorie formula FROM DAY 1, no waiting for colostrum to change to milk. AND it is much easier to drink from a bottle so they eat more AND it is heavier and more calories per feed. It might well mean their appetite instinct is fooled and contribute to obesity even.

    But it definitely skews the tables.?

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  • MrsAmersMrsAmers

    I wouldn't worry too much, honestly.  Growth definitely slows down as babies get more active - it's really common from 9 months on and I agree that the charts don't take that into account as well as they should.

    I did this post on my blog after my DD's 15 month appointment.  I was able to find three different growth charts online and I plotted her percentiles for weight and height from every appointment that we had.  You'll see that her numbers really vary.  They stay in the 8% to 25% range, but they do fluxuate and they definitely trend downward the older she gets.  And she stayed in the 10% range for weight at her 18 month appointment.

    https://passionstone.blogspot.com/2008/05/numbers-geek.html 

    My point is that as long as you are letting her nurse on demand when you're together, she's being offered bottles at daycare, and you're letting her eat as much as she wants at meals, then I wouldn't be that concerned that her percentile dropped 7%.  The charts are based on averages, which means that there had to be kids that fell above and below those averages but were still healthy. 

    You are doing a GREAT job and there is no reason to doubt the quality of your milk or your efforts just because her percentile dropped a little!  It's good that the pedi wants to keep an eye on things, but don't think that your success as a mom is measured by the weight on the scale! 

    If you're worried, you can try to add calories to the table food she eats - put butter on her toast & pasta, offer her lots of dairy (yogurt, cheese, etc).  But in the end it is up to her to decide what to eat.  You provide the food and the milk, and she chooses what and how much to take in!  I highly recommend the book "Child of Mine" by Ellyn Satter if you want to read more about how to feed your older infant / toddler. 

    Heather Margaret --- Feb '07 and Todd Eldon --- April '09
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  • ai&Jasai&Jas member

    Thanks so much for your support and great advice! I feel better now :)

    marrymemylove- I am from Australia and we use mum over there :)

     

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  • hopefulmomhopefulmom member
    Actually I asked my pedi about the charts because I had heard they are old and most of stats were for FF babies.  He said that is not the case...they are up-to-date.  My DS was not a fast weight gainer either and got as low as the 15th percentile.  He was just starting table foods as well.  One of the things I made sure he got every day was avacado.   He ate 1/2 of one every day.  I added real butter to his veggies (squash, sweet potatoes, mashed broccoli, etc) and full-fat yogurt.  He went from 15 at 9 mos to 35 at 1 year.  He is now over 2 and weighs 29.75 lbs and is 36 inche tall.  We did not give a lot of between meal snacks and drinks.  He had a bottle of BM in the morning when he got up (8-9 am), another at lunch (12), breastfed after nap (around 3:30-4 pm) and nursed before bed (8 pm).  He got a sippy of juice between breakfast and lunch and the same sippy after lunch before nap.  He started using a sippy when he was 11 months...maybe a little sooner.
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