Best Way to Encourage WMs-Need Suggestions

2ktBride · September 2011

My best friend is an amazing, amazing mom and has a very successful career. Lately she has been so stressed out trying to juggle everything that she's been crying at work. I'm a SAHM and am struggling on how I can encourage and support her. What are the best ways/things that you feel supported as a working mom? Any suggestions on things that I can do to make her feel better? TIA

jf198400 · September 2011

Personally I think it would make me feel worse if a SAHM friend tried to talk to me about it. I would just brush it off as she doesn't understand how hard it is. You could offer to babysit sometime so she can have some "me time" to exercise, run errands, etc. I know I always feel guilty asking for help, but I always appreciate when someone offers.

KathrynMD · September 2011

there's not really much you can do to help her, all you can do is be sympathetic. I think you can remind her that there are only 24 hours in a day and we can all only do our best.

Spenjamins · September 2011

How do you know she is upset? Has she told you directly? If not, I would keep my mouth shut but aks her and her family over for dinner or her out for drinks one night.

kjennnn · September 2011

I agree, maybe just offer to babysit or something so she could get a night out with DH or some free time for herself, or maybe just you and her go out for dinner/drinks/talking. GL!

MammaBear81 · September 2011

I kind of agree with the PP, getting advise from a SAHM about balancing work and home is a little odd, and if she is really upset you are more than likely to get the "you have no idea what it's like" response. That being said I'd say you can ask her if she wants to talk. Just listen to her, don't give advise or tell her what to do, sometimes people just need to talk and get it out. At least it helps me clear my head sometimes and then I can help myself Big Smile

karleegirl · September 2011

I think just be her friend. Call her, try to have coffee one day. I'm not that overly sensitive with my sahm friend to think she was being patronizing. (she and I don't have that dynamic). But I don't think she would be able to give me advice, just like I couldn't give her advice.

Iblamethebeer · September 2011

If you are really best friends, whether you work or not is irrelevant to how you should approach her.

What she will want from you is someone who can listen/allow her to get it out, sympathize, and *maybe* if she seems up for it brainstorm solutions.

The advice that would be helpful is probably NOT "keep working" or "stay home," but something more specific to her situation. When I was really frustrated at work, my best friend - a SAHM - was the one who was able to tease out that my childcare situation wasn't fitting my needs well. Through our conversations, she also helped me clarify my thoughts/feelings so that when I talked to my husband about wanting to change some things (including going to part-time work), I was able to articulate my reasoning.

So, I say take the kids for a Saturday morning playdate in a venue that will allow the two of you to really visit, ask lots of open ended questions, and go from there.

AdaraMarie · September 2011

If it was me, a babysitting offer would make me feel worse. In that situation, if you wanted to help, I would prefer help with something non-baby related so I could spend more time with my kid. Help with dinner or shopping or something. The thing that stresses me out is when I feel like I have to spend all my time off work cooking, cleaning, dragging her around running errands and don't get to enjoy her.

As far as support, just being available to talk is good. You could also send her a note or something telling her she is an awesome mom.

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