Military mom's! — The Bump
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Military mom's!

Anyone here in the military, and expecting or have childern? I'm curious if I should seperate to focus on raising my child. My husband is in the military as well, so medical would never be an issue. I'm just torn, I want to focus on my sweet baby! But I only have 4 years left, so I'm just trying to figure it all out.
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Re: Military mom's!

  • I have 6 years til I drop my retirement.  I just cannot imagine tossing it out.   I like what I do way too much.  Yes I love being a Mother too.  My almost-grown pumpkin has enjoyed a rather neat life ((traveled more countries before 15 than most in their entire lives)) and I know that the mini-pumpkin will do a bit of okay at this too.

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  • Stay in!!! Unless you have been with your husband for at least 20 years, with 20 of those years IN the military, were you to divorce (if you do not get your retirement) you WOULD NOT GET TRICARE.

     

    Not to mention you are throwing away your retirement, and SBP is NO WHERE the same amount as your own pension. Children are not permanently harmed by working moms, so a military working mom is not that much different.

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  • I have been in the CF since 2006 - my contract is up 2016, but my husband and I have been discussing our options lately.  I am also torn between wanting to stay home with our children, or staying at work because of benefits and bonuses, etc.

    In Canada, we have a year prior to our contract end to decide whether to re-sign or go.  I would suggest keeping it in mind for the next few years and see where you are emotionally when the time comes.  You never know... you could end up choosing the opposite of what you thought you wanted.   In the end... it's your decision.  Good luck.

  • I'm really a lurker, but your question in interesting!   I got out last year after 8 because I wasn't sure I would want to be faced with a deployment after having a baby and we wanted to start trying.  All that said...your case is totally different.  If I had already completed 16 years I would totally have stayed in.  Depending on your branch and your job, your dwell time could be enough where you would only really face one more deployment.  You have put in a lot of time to not finish, and think about all of the time you can spend with your baby once you are retired!  Tough choice and good luck!
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  • I have decided to take the option to get out when the baby comes. I have only been for a little under 3 years, and have 3 years to go. I hate my job, so that in no way makes me want to stay in. DH is also AD. If I were to stay in, our schedules would be so ridiculous that and unpredictable that I am worried about finding suitable child care at the drop of a hat. I also do not want a stranger raising my child while DH and I are working 12 hour shifts on different schedules. For us, this is the best choice. Financially it is going to be tough, but we need to do it.
  • I've been enlisted for 4 years, have a 15-month old and another one due in January.

    Today I took a cold hard look at my plans for the future (much like yourself) and decided that because its a Mil/Civ marriage, we couldn't afford for me to skip out on a Retirement.

    That being said, I decided on a 7-year plan: 3 more years at my current base, then 4-year Special Duty assignment teaching Tech School in the Air Force. We want to try and get overseas after that,

  • This is the second time I have been faced with this question and I decided to stay in the first time because of the money and now and I am really wishing I took my out when I had the chance. The military was never supposed to be permanent for me and knowing that I will literally be working just to keep my two kids in the CDC is killing me. I want to be there to raise my kids, keep my house clean and not be stressed out of dumb stuff. I hate when DH and I are two completely different shifts and all the BS the military has. I could seriously just sit and cry right now because I know deep down in my heart that I have lost the drive to be here. If you only have 4 years left, then I would stay but I have only been in for 4 with 2 left.
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  • Do what you think is best! I did 8 years in the Navy and got out last October so I could go to school and start a family. We conceived our daughter in November and she was born on August 7. I do not regret getting out. I was deployed 8 times in 8 years and before I had Ava it was no big deal. In fact I loved being deployed because I loved to travel and all the extra pay was worth it. But when you have a baby, those things just aren't important.

    But if you only have 4 years left it would almost be like a waste to get out now and lose that retirement pay. And that in the long run it would be a great help. I know how it was doing 8 years, and I know you had to work hard to get where you are with all those years under your belt. There is nothing that says you cannot focus on your little baby and do your job all at the same time. Unless there is a possibility of you getting deployed overseas (some units I have heard don't even get deployed overseas) then I would say stay in. You worked this hard to get where you are, and you don't have to sacrifice it all just to have your baby! 

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