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daisyterp
member
Let's talk about going out/partying as a parent
daisyterp
member
On the nest I just posted about how we have a wedding this weekend. Initially we were going to get a hotel room downtown, but when I saw that the reception was going to be done at 10, DH & I talked and figured it makes more sense for us to just drive back to my parents' where the kids are staying. We are driving to W. Va the next day and frankly the idea of being in the car for so long possibly hungover isn't fun, even w/o kids. With kids, forget about it.
I have talked to some other moms about this- one of my friends pointed out that if you are too drunk to drive, then you are too drunk to parent. Another said that even if her DH was a designated driver, the next day dealing with baby and/or toddler while hungover is awful. Last weekend DH went up to a team reunion- he took the train and on Sunday when he got home he was going on and on about how tired he was because it was a long trip- I totally called him out on being hungover vs. tired. (I know he was out until 2 the night before) when you have a child to care for you just can't throw them back like you used to!
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Re: Let's talk about going out/partying as a parent
I don't agree with this. The threshold for being too drunk (or tired) to drive is very low. We'd all be in trouble if we needed the reaction time it takes to drive in order to parent (i.e.- making sure your child is safe)
the apeal of going out late period has lost it's appeal on me, let alone going out late and drinking. Like Jen I can probably count on one hand the number of time's I've even gotten tipsy. DS does spend the night with our parents somewhat frequently, but even then DH and I like to go out for a nice dinner, maybe have a glass of wine or two and then head home to relax.
I also get horribly hung over-splitting headache and serious vommiting-and I can't imagine I would be able to take care of DS after a wild night.
but what if something happened to your child and you had to drive him or her to the ER?
If I could still get any version of wasted that was fun this would be an issue.
Short of a pleasant champagne buzz, I seem to go straight from woozy to sick these days.
I remember lighting shots of 151 on fire and downing them in college. And taking shots of tequila straight from the bottle from very pretty (flamingly gay) boys dancing on bars. Now if I tried that I would just heave everywhere. Hell - just thinking about those tequila shots is making me a little sick.
Ah...the good ol' days.
(Excuse me while I walk to work uphill both ways in the snow....)
lovelylittleworld
BFP#2 1/12/12 ~ Missed M/C 8w2d
lovelylittleworld
BFP#2 1/12/12 ~ Missed M/C 8w2d
My DH and I were in an accident once and MIL couldn't get to the hospital right away because she had taken a sleeping pill... needless to say this colored DH and I's opinion on taking anything that would prevent us from being able to respond in an emergency... I am even leary of Tylenol PM.
This doesn't effect me that much, because getting drunk has pretty much always gone against my control freak nature... All that means I have an extremely low tolerance. DH used ro call me a "cheap date" because having a second glass of wine was unusual. It was a very rare camping trip where I would get sloppy.
DH and I really don't drink so that's not something we gave up when DS was born. We've been drunk only a handful of times since we've known each other and they were all weddings or special occasions. Sure, I wouldn't mind having a couple glasses of champagne sometime, but staying out late partying isn't even something we'd have done pre-kid so we're not missing anything.
I've heard a friend talk about drinking after her kid was in bed and I admit I side-eye that. What if there was some problem?
BFP#1: 01/10, M/C 6w
BFP#2: 06/10, M/C 5w
BFP#3: 09/10, DS born June 1, 2011
BFP#4: 07/12, M/C 5w3d
BFP#5: 12/12, EDD 08/18/13
My Blog: Decorate This
I agree. I have definitely NOT been drink since DD was born, though I think I might have been tipsy. I bf anyway and can pump and dump, but that's a pain. Heck, I can't even stay out too late, or I feel like I have a lack-of-sleep hangover. I think once you are a parent (and until you can or unless you can leave DC with a relative over night) your drinking days are pretty much over.
To be fair, I used to be able to go out an drink in my younger days - shots, etc. (I'm looking at YOU, Rags,), but I don't really miss it and at some point I got too old for it, or maybe it got old for me. I do miss sleeping in on weekends, though.
Well here's my perspective. And if I sound like a fuddy duddy, whatever. Since we were in our 30s when we had our first child, I really feel like we got most of our partying, staying out late, clubbing, what-have-you days out of our systems in our 20s. By the time we were in our late 20s, we were both pretty much done with the bar scene, besides occasional happy hours etc. I really have no desire to get drunk any more. Yes, a glass of wine, or beer, or margarita tastes good sometimes but I can't imagine getting plastered and then having to deal with my very active DS up at 6:30 am with a raging hangover. ugh.
I do have an issue when you go to a party or event and both parents are drinking (not talking about if one parent just stops at one drink-when both parents are obviously partying). Its our policy that one of us always needs to be sober and clear-minded at all times.
::pours two shots from my 40 in memory of the young us::
I've seriously *never* been drunk with DH. It's sort of sad....
lovelylittleworld
BFP#2 1/12/12 ~ Missed M/C 8w2d
I'd call an ambulance. DH and I actually had this discussion when DD was really teeny.
The first time DH and I were drunk together was at our wedding. That had both advantages and disadvantages.
BFP#1: 01/10, M/C 6w
BFP#2: 06/10, M/C 5w
BFP#3: 09/10, DS born June 1, 2011
BFP#4: 07/12, M/C 5w3d
BFP#5: 12/12, EDD 08/18/13
My Blog: Decorate This
My responses make it sound like we're drunks who go out all the time. That's not the case (uh, I'm pregnant so it's REALLY not the case these days!). And, one of us is always driving if we go out so it self-regulates. But I don't think anyone should feel guilty over having a few glasses of wine at home. I think the prospect of hangovers also self-regulates this!
I just didn't agree with that one statement.
DH & I will regularly split a bottle of wine between cooking, eating dinner and bedtime routine for DD, or have 1 or 2 beers, etc. Even if I have 3 glasses of wine it's over the course of at least 3 hours, so going by the drink an hour rule we are fine. We are far from teetotalers.
I just know that when I tell my friend that we aren't staying over for her wedding she is going to be disappointed we aren't going to the after-party, etc.
but even leaving aside DD and DS, would you be interested in getting shittydrunk at this point in your life?