Parenting

NE1 have to get rid of a dog when baby came?

Our little guy is 1 now and my DH's 7 year old rat terrier still has not adjusted. I don't know what to do. He snaps at him and tries to take his toys and I'm scared sooner or later he is going to bite him.

I also have a 3 year old boxer that doesn't mind DS at all but DH thinks if his dog has to go my dog has to too. I've gotten to the point that I would find a new home for my dog just so I'm not worried all the time about DS being around DH's dog.

Please share any advice if you have been in the same situation.

 

Re: NE1 have to get rid of a dog when baby came?

  • Have you had a trainer come in?
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  • What have you done to help the dog adjust? If you haven't brought in a trainer or gone to training- then really- it disgusts me to see people give their dogs away like that.

    you can't punish a dog for behaving like a dog -- they need training to learn how to be good around babies/kids... And the kids also need to be trained on how to be around dogs and be nice, etc.

    and to punish both dogs b/c of one????? WTF???

    Watch out- the Pet board ladies will hear about this and tear you a new one, i'm sure.

  • I would get a trainer.  I don't get your DH's logic at all.  My friend had to leave her dog outside after her baby came because the dog was not safe for the child (had bitten a number of people before and was agitated by the baby).  She tried to find a home for it, but couldn't.  It worked out ok.  The dog was 13 years old when her DD was born, so it only lived a couple more years.
  • Ditto Goldilocks.  How much work have you done with your dog AND your child to teach them how to interact with each other?   Have you had a trainer come in? 
  • We had a trainer come in and help us with the dog.  I would go that route first.
    Michelle Mommy to Kayleigh, Audrey and Faith. image
  • We have been working to solve this problem/situation since before DS was even born and it's not getting any better. I would even say it's probably getting worse. I would not just get rid of either of our dogs on a whim. That's why I posted to see if anyone else has been in this situation and found a solution. I love both of our dogs. I just don't know what to do that I haven't already tried.

    And now we have another baby on the way and I'm sorry but if I can not change this situation I won't have a choice but to find new homes for them. I can not honestly sit here and just wait for the day one of my children gets bit and then do something about it.

  • I wouldnt give the dogs away if you havent tried everything.  Why risk them being put to sleep if you havent worked hard at this?
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  • What exactly do you mean by "working on it" though? That didn't answer if you've had trainers come in, or if you're trying to deal with it yourself.
  • I know someone who sold their collie that didn't adjust to the baby. It was a biggish dog (cross I think) so it just wasn't worth the risk because if something bad happened there were NO second chances.

    ?They consulted a vet about it who specialised in that kind of thing, and he said well you could try to train it some more but in the end the dog is a dog is a dog and you've brought in a newbie but put it ahead in the pack. He also endorsed distinguishing breeds that were more dangerous than others.

    They sold the dog to someone they were very happy would give it a good home and donated the money to the Lost Dogs Home.

    They felt bad about saying goodbye to the dog but ultimately people who don't put their kids ahead of their pets disgust me.?

  • We had to find a new home for our rat terrier/poodle mix.  He never adjusted to having a baby in the house.  He had to leave after he tried to bite L.  We couldn't have them in the room together at the same time and since we have a small, open floor plan house, that didn't work very well.  It wasn't fair to the dog.
  • imagegoodhartedmommy:
    What exactly do you mean by "working on it" though? That didn't answer if you've had trainers come in, or if you're trying to deal with it yourself.

    Ditto.

    imageimage
    Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
    "Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
  • Remember that?

    1. trainers aren't cheap

    2. they can't guarantee safety

    3. this is your child

    ?Seems that people treat "getting a trainer" as a get out of jail card for the "crime" of giving/selling a dog into a new home.

    It isn't as though letting a dog go to a new home is a crime! And while it is much more drastic to let them go to a shelter, there are certainly cases where it is warranted for the child's safety. Ultimately I think its a question of how much more you value the child than the dog.?

  • When you get a pet it is a forever thing.  Yes trainers cost money BUT when you take a pet its your job to make that dog a part of the family.  The risk you run when you give dogs away is that they could very well end up in a shelter and put down.  If it was my dog you better believe I would do anything I can before I got rid of it
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  • imagekevschickee2:
    When you get a pet it is a forever thing.  Yes trainers cost money BUT when you take a pet its your job to make that dog a part of the family.  The risk you run when you give dogs away is that they could very well end up in a shelter and put down.  If it was my dog you better believe I would do anything I can before I got rid of it

    Ditto. I don't have the strength to get all worked up over this post tonight, but pets are a responsibility. I would exhaust every avenue to make the situation work before I would give away a pet, and that would certainly include the expense of a trainer. I think that's common sense. If you can't be bothered to do that you really shouldn't have pets, IMO.
     

    imageimage
    Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
    "Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
  • Yes ideally a pet is a forever thing. BUT their lifespan is not near a human life expectancy so let's not kid ourselves that forever is the same kind of forever that your own child is.

    Not to mention the whole thing about how your child should matter more to you than any pet no matter how dear.

    I think this is an argument people only really apply to dogs which is a total double standard. I had a pony as a child. We moved house (we had to move for my mum's job and so I could go to high school). We no longer had a place out the back for the pony. I didn't love him the less but you do what you have to do. We gave him to my uncle who lived on a farm. I only visited him on school holidays. ?He lived out his days happy and I saw him a few weeks before he died of old age. No one surely thinks I should have not gone to high school or my mum not changed her job because of the pet.

    Also people's circumstances change. What you could afford when you got the pet may not be what you can afford now. I knew a homeless woman where we used to live who was only homeless because she couldn't have her dog in any of the low cost housing options. I think that's going way way too far. Not that she should have had to choose but once you're in that situation it is not worth being homeless for a dog. ?You do the best you can for the pet obviously, given your situation. Don't compromise on your child's safety in favour of a dog, that's all I'm saying.?

  • I don't know what dog trainers cost, but I had to cut off testing on my cat at $1K out of pocket.  They couldn't tell us what was wrong with her (she has lost more than half her body weight) and just kept suggesting more testing.  We finally said enough and that she is old anyway and does not seem to be in any pain - she still eats and uses the bathroom and seeks our attention.  As soon as we see a change other than the unexplained weight loss, we just are letting it be.  If people think that is heartless, so be it.  The cat has already cost a fortune in vet bills after we took her off the streets - yes, she was a pregnant stray and has been alive for 9.5 years since we brought her in.  I am a horrible person, huh?

    We had 2 cats when DD came along - the 2 of them always had issues with each other, and adding DD to the house made the situation pretty crazy.  When DD was about a year old, we had to give the other cat to a relative.  OH, NO - I gave an animal away ;P  Look, I never would have even considered it if I didn't have good people lined up that I knew would take very good care of my cat.  She now lives with my aunt who spoils her ROTTEN - much better life than we were giving her!

    Why in the world do people always assume that the pet is going to the streets or a shelter?  I never would just throw a pet out to the curb - we ONLY considered family members and good friends as viable options for a new home.

  • I've had dogs all my life and think they are great and are sad when they die, but seriously, some people are a bit fanatical about it.  Your child is your FIRST priority and you can't compromise on his/her safety.  If I thought either of my dogs was a danger to my children, you bet I'd find a new home for them. 
    SAHM to DD1 (7), DS (5) and DD2 (1)
  • Totally ditto almostjennifer!

    People go OTT and equate selling/giving to a good home with dumping on the street. They are NOT the same!?

  • We had to find our dog a new home.  My son has a ton of allergies and he was allergic to her.  We struggled with this decision for months because I too believe that pets are part of your family.  For us it came down to him breaking out in hives everytime she licked him, to the point of his eyes swelling shut.  I finally realized that it wasn't fair to either of them, and we found her a wonderful home.  I still think about her all the time but I have never regretted my decision.
  • Thank you all for your replies. I do agree with both sides. Our dogs are part of our family and we took them on as our responsibilities for the length of their lives but my child's (soon to be children's) safety is my top concern.

    I plan on contacting another trainer tomorrow and see what can be done to try one more time to turn our rat terrier around and make him kid friendly. But if we can not change the situation I don't think I will have any other option but to try and find him a happy home without any kids.

    Of course this is a very sore subject with my DH but I guess we have to have something to argue about sometimes. ;-) 

  • imagekevschickee2:
    When you get a pet it is a forever thing.  Yes trainers cost money BUT when you take a pet its your job to make that dog a part of the family.  The risk you run when you give dogs away is that they could very well end up in a shelter and put down.  If it was my dog you better believe I would do anything I can before I got rid of it

    Ditto. Should have thought of that earlier. 

  • Sure when you get a pet it's suppose to be forever but situations change. I'm sure when my DH was a 20 something single guy living in an apartment and purchased his dog the thought of if it was a good breed to have around kids never crossed his mind...why would it he wasn't even in a serious relationship.

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