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How long does....

howleyshellhowleyshell member
in Pre-School and Daycare

negative behavior following a business trip or some other absence go on with your tot?

My youngest has lost his ever loving mind.

We can trace the change in behavior back to my business trip.  He as an angel when I was gone but let loose like armageddon once I returned.

It really does seem to be specifically related to not feeling secure and it's 100% centered around me.

I am at a loss at this point.  He'll loose his mind over the simplest issue and then not be able to get control over himself again for up to a half and hour or more. 

Thankfully zero of this behavior is spilling over into school (which shocks me) but we all dread being at home at this point.  Yesterday was the worst day yet.  DH and I were both totally tuned into the kids, he'd slept well, eaten well, no stuffy nose and was still a certifiable nut job crying most of the day over silly things like he wanted to get his own fork and then not calming down when I put the fork away and let him get it himself. 

I've tried everything I've got in my arsenal and at this point I'm just tired and sad.

 It's like he's broken and I can't find the reset switch.

Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
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Re: How long does....

  • KathrynMDKathrynMD member

    DD never takes more than 1-2 days to "reset" if something's gone awry.

    Have you tried spending a little special one on one time w/ him or talking to him about what happened and reassuring him that you are here to stay, etc.

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  • howleyshellhowleyshell member
    imageKathrynMD:

    Have you tried spending a little special one on one time w/ him or talking to him about what happened and reassuring him that you are here to stay, etc.

    Yup.  Had 1:1 time with him on Saturday (pretty much the whole day just me and my buddy) and Sunday was the worst day yet.

    I'm at a loss.

    Sadly I'm not here to stay.  DH and I are taking our first vacation alone in 7 years mid-October.  We've been telling them that Grandma is coming to stay with them while we're gone.  He says he's fine with it and even says he's excited for Grandma's visit but I think he's not verbalizing his dissatisfaction at another Mommy absence on the horizon.

    My suspicion is that we're just gonna have to deal with this with him until that trip is over.

    Poor guy..... 

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
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  • PeskyPesky member
    A few days at most.  Ditto trying to spend one on one time.  Also, could it merely be a confluence of factors where he is simply acting 2 or so?  DD does this kind of stuff off and on and it's not necessarily around business trips.


    image
    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

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  • Mrs MannersMrs Manners member

    I don't travel much for work but it takes an entire week for ds to get his schedule and behavoir adjusted after we do something like go on vacation or after he spends a week away visiting the grandparents. We were on vacation week before last and last week he was "on yellow" for bad behavoir at school two days last week. He's been there two months and these were the first two day on yellow. We had a similar thing in the spring where he spent a week with the grandparents and the entire next week was hell at school and at home. The next week he was back to himeself.

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  • ecoppinsecoppins member

    Awww, hugs to you! Poor little guy but it sounds pretty familiar. My big girl takes a couple of days to a week to adjust. She is an angel while I am away, and then well, falls apart for mom.

    When sara can't seem to pull it together, I send her to her room, not in a time out way, but in a why don't you take a moment and breath and come back when you are ready way. I give her something to drink or a hug and say it's okay and sometimes we all need a moment. I usually have something special for her when she comes back, like she can sit next to me at dinner, or she can pick out the napkins or something little and normal but to remind her that she isn't in trouble and life goes on. Sometimes she just needs time.

    GL !

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  • franciscazfranciscaz member

    Depending on which of my kids and how long business keeps me away we avg 2 days to 2 wks.  It is hard on my kids, especially b/c I travel a lot. 

    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
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