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D.C. Area Babies
paralyzed by indecision
This is part vent, part looking to see if I'm the only one, part asking for suggestions...
Lately I just feel paralyzed by indecision for almost all things baby related. I know that we need to get a crib soon (I'm 27 1/2 wk). BUT I can't decide where we are going to put it/for how long and so I'm unable to pick what color crib I want to get so it can't get bought and I'm just in this vicious cycle of knowing i need to do something but being unable to do it. I'm afraid that I am going to nitpick every other decision from here out too, so I'm not looking forward to the needs to happen soon car seat/stroller/pumps etc shopping too.
if anyone has ideas on the nursery/crib please chime in. We have a weird layout. Our bedroom is pretty big and even though we have king bed, we'd have room to put the crib in our room no problem. I'm not sure we'd want to put the baby's dresser in too. I see this as a short term set-up for like 3 months when the kid first arrives. We have a room that is off our bedroom. this room has no private entrance, only from the bedroom or a bathroom. right now we have the treadmill and tv set up in their. we can convert this to a nursery as it's right next to our room and if we move treadmill then there is enough room for the baby dresser and glider (but we have to find somewhere to move the tv and treadmill...this will fit less well in the bedroom). this would be nursery for 1-2y and/or def nursery for kid #2 if we are still in that house. finally we have a room that is already painted in a kid friendly color and has it's own private door. its a 2nd guest room. this would be the eventual room for the kid once they are out of nursery age no matter what. I like that it can be closed off separate of everything else so it's easy to keep the cats of out of the nursery at night but still let them sleep near us and we don't have to move the treadmill etc. BUT it's the farthest away from the master (they're in a straight line so we walk master to treadmill room to bathroom to this bedroom) and I don't know if that's going to be super annoying for a long time with evening feedings. Is it reasonable to move the kid at 3mo to it's own room that is farther away and do our bedroom then move to this kid-colored room. I just don't know what to expect. 
ack!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: paralyzed by indecision
Alright, breathe. Are you feeling anxious about a lot of things, or is it just this one thing? I know there's something called post-partum anxiety, but I wonder if there may also be anxiety caused by hormones during pregnancy. If you feel anxious a lot, you may want to mention it to your ob.
As for your specific question, I can tell you what we did. First of all, if you're not sure what to do about baby gear, I highly recommend getting the book Baby Bargains. It helped me a lot when it came to figuring out what kind of gear I needed.
M didn't sleep in his crib in his own room until he was 6 months old. We put an arms-reach co-sleeper in our room and I LOVED it. You could also use a bassinet or pack-n-play. If you plan on nursing, it will probably be 1000 times more convenient for the baby to be in your room. When baby wakes up in the middle of the night, you can just roll over, pick up baby, nurse, and then put him back when you're done. I snoozed through a lot of nursing sessions in the early days. We finally moved him to his own room when he was down to 1 nursing session at night, and it wasn't as disruptive to my sleep to go in there and get him.
Based on what I know now, I would recommend putting your LO in the other bedroom with the door that closes when you're ready for him to sleep in his own room. The main reason is that it will be quieter for him in there, and you won't have to worry about accidentally waking him up if you're in your bedroom and make noise. If you have a baby monitor, you will hear him just fine. As long as the room is on the same floor, I don't think the distance will be too bad. I mean, I'm assuming you don't live in a 10,000 sq ft house or anything like that.
My LO slept in our room beside our bed in a pack-n-play or rock-n-play until he started trying to launch himself out of the rock-n-play at about 5 months. We transitioned to his crib then.
I agree that having him in his own room with a door that closes is smarter for noise.
I second the recommendation for Baby Bargains. This book helped me tremendously because it helped me narrow down what I needed and what I didn't need. It also helped me decide on which brand/version to get based on the features it had and my budget. Also, feel free to ask about specific items here. I found this board very helpful when I was trying to decide on things.
As far as sleeping arrangements, there are so many different ways you could do it and it's really based on your personal preference and what will work best for your family.
This is the scenario that works best for us (but again, everyone does it differently). When the baby was first born, I slept in a separate room with the baby and I used a co-sleeper next to the bed. Since I was BFing and had to get up with the baby anyway, I felt no need for DH to also wake up with the baby at night. This way, DH got a decent night's sleep and could take the baby around 6am or 7am so I could get some sleep. He would also watch the baby in the afternoon while I napped (he works from home). Once the baby was about 10 weeks, we put her in a separate room in the crib. For us, I like moving the baby out of the bedroom around that age because they can start to learn to soothe themselves back to sleep if they wake up and also, they don't need to be fed as often. This also results in both me and DH getting a better night's sleep because we aren't woken up by every little movement, grunt, etc.
As far as your situation, I'm wondering if you are going to be having guests and may need that extra bedroom? That's something you'll want to consider. My basic recommendation is that in the early weeks you'll probably want to be really close to the baby since you'll be getting up so often. Then, at a certain age, you'll either move the baby to that small room of the guest room. If you are really unsure about what you'll want eventually, you could hold off on getting the big crib until you make you final decision and just use a co-sleeper or Pack-n-Play in the meantime.
We only had DD in a bassinet in our room for 4 or 5 weeks. Her snufflings kept me from sleeping, since I always had to wake up to figure out whether she was hungry yet. We moved her straight to her own room, which is at the other end of the house. Even though it's at the other end of the hall, it's maaaybe a 20-ft. walk. That's not really so bad, even when you're up every 2 or 3 hours and even when your LO doesn't STTN until 10.5 months. Being able to close the door and muffle the quiet sounds (the ones that mean the baby probably doesn't need your attention) was amazing for me and far outweighed the extra 5 seconds it takes to walk that far.
Ditto whoever said you can always have your baby sleep in a pack 'n play for quite a while, 'til you figure out what it's like once you have an actual baby. Alternately, can you choose furniture that would work in the separate room nursery, but just set it up in the room off your BR if that's what ends up working for you? Would it be so bad if you had a crib in your treadmill room that doesn't really match your BR furniture? These decisions can seem so daunting when you're pregnant and want to get everything perfect, but really a little baby doesn't need a whole lot to get by while you get yourself settled. You don't need to have your whole setup completed weeks before your due date, even if that's what it feels like you're supposed to do at the time.
The good news is that you don't have to decide now. Delivery isn't the due date for these kinds of things, it is just the beginning! The things you know now are that you want a place for baby to sleep and that place is probably in your room for the first 3 months, right? So, just deal with that first three months. Get something that a NB baby can sleep in or make plans for safe bed-sharing. Deal with the rest once baby is here and you have an idea of what will work best for your family.
More Green For Less Green
I would get a arms reach co-sleeper to use for the first few months, and set up the crib in the "eventual" kid room. No need to move things around more than you have to.
Our DD didn't sleep in her room full time until she was almost a year old.
I 3rd the baby bargains book. I swear, registering for a baby was zero fun (unlike wedding registry!). I felt like if I made the wrong choice, my baby was DOOMED. Truth is, that's not the case. The baby bargains book (you can even get from library) helped me sort through the wave of baby crap & balance need vs. price vs. safety.
Sprout slept in our room in a pack n play until he out grew the bassinet on that...I think it was about 4ish months. Also at that point he became a *very* noisy sleeper so putting him in his own room (on another floor) was necessary for my husband & I to sleep. Around this time he also was getting up only once or twice at night so it wasn't a big deal for him to be on another floor. While he was in our room, I had a basket that held all of his clothes and another one for blankets/diapers/wipes. Our room didn't have space for a crib and another dresser, but even if it did, I don't think I'd do a full nursery set up in it knowing he wouldn't be in our room more than a few months.
If it were me...
I would not make the room next to your master bedroom the baby's actual long term nursery/bedroom.
I would set up a nursery with a crib in one of the bedrooms that are extra. Sounds like the one is already painted - bonus!
I would get a bassinette or arms-length-cosleeper for your bedroom, and plan to have baby sleep there for a few nights/weeks/months. (All three of my kids slept in our room in a bassinette for 4-6 weeks). That bassinette could go either right next to your bed, or in that other room with the treadmill if baby's snufflings are keeping you awake.
There is zero way to predict right now WHEN you will want baby to move from sleeping in your room to sleeping in baby's own room. You won't know until baby is here so don't try to figure it out now - in fact, isn't that nice? One thing you actually don't have to decide before baby comes. You may be a person who has baby sleep in your room for a year, or you may be like several folks on this board who had baby sleep in their own room from day one.
Later on, that walk down the hall to the baby's room is going to become so routine you'll wonder why you were worried about that bedroom being a few steps away. And let's face it - if that room is going to be baby's room when they're a toddler - you may WANT that room a few steps away from yours - because at some point it's nice to get your privacy back.
I just re-read your post and my answer - I hope I got everything straight - this sentence in your post confused me a little: "Is it reasonable to move the kid at 3mo to it's own room that is farther away and do our bedroom then move to this kid-colored room." I'm not sure want you mean by "and do our bedroom" in the order of things here.
Also, paint is your friend - if a room is "kid colored" you can always swap that room out and make another bedroom "kid colored."
In the case of my DD #1, for example:
So she has technically slept in four different bedrooms in 4 years. And yes, we painted each time!
I find that so many things I thought would need to be decided when the baby came just keep evolving! You could wait on the crib and get a bassinet or just use a pack n' play in your room until you decide on what set up works best for you guys.
Additionally, that room off of your room sounds marvelous! But I think the room with private door would be best for transitioning when the baby is older. DS nor myself could ever sleep in the same room (both too distracted!) and for naps, I have to creep by his door so as not to wake him now (not so much an issue when he was smaller). So him being sort of in our room would never work as he got older.
Deep breaths! And Baby Bargains was a great help in deciding on baby products. As well as this board!