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Trouble TTC
CD 1... IUI #1 a Big Fat Fail
So today is CD 1 for me, which means IUI #1 is officially a failure. Since I'm a POAS addict, I expected this. DH and I have been wrestling with what we want to do next. We are either going right to IVF (if the RE will let us skip the next 2 planned IUI's) or we are going to stop trying. Spiritually, this has taken a toll on both of us. We feel like maybe God is answering our prayers... and telling us no. And if so, then we need to find a way to be okay with that. Maybe he has a different plan through adoption or maybe just not right now.
We have to take October off anyway, because we will be out of town the first two weeks in October for vacation, so it will give us some time to pray more about it and try to get some answers as to whether or not He wants us to move forward with IVF or not. I am starting to become angry with God, so I'm trying to work through that. I feel like we are being punished and I don't understand why people who abuse and are not prepared can have a child or ten and we can't.
Okay, sorry for the bitching! I'm just bitter today. But that's an update on us. I hope everyone had a good weekend and have a good week ahead.
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Re: CD 1... IUI #1 a Big Fat Fail
I struggle with this every day.
Im sorry for the results of the IUI. T&P for y'all on whatever decision y'all make.
Oh no...I'm so sorry (((Hugs)))
Bitterness is okay and to be expected. I hope that you and your DH are able to make the choice that gives you the most peace, and I wish you nothing but luck.
IF sucks a big fat one.
Started fertility treatments 11/2010
Ovarian dysfunction, LPD, male factor
6 failed medicated IUI's
Pregnant 5/2011 - Miscarriage at 6 weeks due to triploidy
Decided to adopt - 6/2012
SURPRISE! Pregnant without intervention - 7/2012
Sweet Baby James Born 3/2013
Decided to be "One and Done"
....OR NOT.
Pregnant 12/2018 despite birth control pills
Here we go again...
Due 8/26/19!
Awww honey, I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I completely share your sentiment of people who have ten kids, and don't want any of them! I'm a teacher, and I hate to see neglectful, aloof parents who don't want anything to do with their children. Unfortunately, it happens all too often.
I just wanted to share that I am also on CD1, after my first IUI cycle. I know EXACTLY what you are going through...and it sucks. The only thing I can say is that I've rationalized that iui is most often successful after multiple attempts. Meaning, its normally not the first try. I'm trying to let the statistics make sense for me.
As for the God thing, that's a personal thing. I know this probably isn't the place for it, but I just wanted to share that I was not a particularly ACTIVE prayer prior to TTC. Once we hit a roadblock (and then another, and another) I got REALLY angry with God, thinking "Why ME?! What did I do?!" but I've calmed down a LOT recently. I am starting to understand that I might not know the plan...or just cause I'm ready to have kids, it may not happen at that point. I feel like things will happen when they are meant to. In the mean time, I have to keep trying my best, and taking what I feel is the right path.
I'm glad you get October off. It sounds like you and DH have a lot to talk about. If you need anything at all, even a listening ear, please PM me!
GL!
TTC since 2008
Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!
IUI#4 1/23/13 on 75iu x9 Follistim = BFP then chem preg m/c (Feb 2013)
IUI#5 BFN (April 2013)
S/PAIFW , S/PALW
My Blog
You really need to make a trip to the library and pick-up the book Outliners by Malcom Gladwell. This book completely change my thoughts about when God wanted us to have children. I loved reading it and it totally opened my mind to the ways in which God works.
I pray without ceasing and often about our IF experience. I, too, was starting to get annoyed about the iuis not working, so I prayed that God would just give us a time frame. (We already knew that God wanted us to have kids. I have been getting messages from God plus a few of our church members prayed for us and received a word from God saying that we needed to just have faith and keep trying that it will happen when God has planned.) The very next week we learned that Nicole had cysts and we had to take a month off. I actually felt a lot better because I felt even if we pushed though (which we could have) and tried anyway, this was God's way of taking a month out of our equation.
I will pray for you (I pray for the ladies on here a lot). Try to think of this as a getting-the-time right and Nicole used our BFN from iui #1 as a practice. Also, pray that if God wants you to adopt He will send you a little on your way. This will take a lot of the pressure off. If suddenly a baby with a note that says "Hi, I need a Mom!" ends up on your doorstep you can take that as an answer from God. Until then, you can stay positive that God is listening.
Let me know if you need something.
Chris
Me:34, Wife: 32
IF reasoning = MFI: Zero Sperm Count using FairFax donor bank
IVF: 2011 = BFN, lost all 10 embryos (with C/Ps)
Jan 2014 - OBGYN (not RE) found and removed wife's "field of" uterine polyps after failed IVF
Moving on to surrogacy (actually a planned adoption)
Surrogate IUI#1: 7.17.12 = BFP!! 15dpiui = 256, 17dpiui = 346
Oliver Zane born - 3/29/2013 on Good Friday!
IUI #4 - #6: 2014-2015 = BFN (with C/Ps)
Switch sperm donors, start ketosis diet to reduce inflammation late 2015
IVF 2: Jan and Feb 2016, 3 great looking, 8 cell 3 day embryos. Two ET, one frozen
2.18.2016 (8dp3dt) = BFFP!
2.22.2016 (12dp3dt) = 649!!
Started foster care experience in 2012. Now waiting to adopt our foster daughter, 7, who has lived with us for 3 years.
"Wait for your God, and don't give up on Him - ever!" Hosea 12:6 (msg)
This sounds just like me.
I don't have any answers for you, I'm afraid. I can send T&P and (((hugs))).
15 treatment cycles: four early m/c
Moving forward with domestic infant adoption!
Home study approved 5/13, now just waiting...
15 treatment cycles: four early m/c
Moving forward with domestic infant adoption!
Home study approved 5/13, now just waiting...
Me too. (((hugs))) to you, Henson!
Severe MFI. Me: supposedly all clear but eggs showed vacuoles.
IVF #1 January 2012, ER Jan 14th: 34R, 27M, 23F. Day 3: 18 embies still strong. Day 5: zero "good," one "fair," the rest "poor." Transferred 3. None made it to blast or to freeze. Jan 28: BFN.
Lucky IVF #2: Transferred two beautiful day three embies on St. Patrick's Day. BFP on HPT 7dp3dt. Beta 1 (14dpER)=106; Beta 2 (16dpER)=140; Beta 3 (19dpER)=264! First u/s 4.17.
Hope is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops - at all - (Emily Dickinson)
Nov - March 2010: no period
April - November 2010: Prometrium then clomid - BFN
April 2011 - Finally moved and settled in new city
June 30, 2011 - Ruptured Ovarian Cyst
August 2011 - Met with RE - Bloodwork, etc = Dx PCOS, 1700mg of Metformin
September 2011 - HSG/SIS - shows tissue in ute = Hysteroscopy
September 2011 - Clomid + trigger + IUI #1 - cycle cancelled at baseline US - cyst on left ovary = 8 weeks of BCP
December 2011 - IUI#1 Re-do- Clomid + 12/19 Trigger + 12/21 = BFN
January 2012 - IUI#2- Clomid + Estrace CD13 + trigger + 1/22 = BFN February 2012 - IUI#3 - Clomid + Estrace - Failed to respond to Clomid found on CD 13 monitoring.
Feb - Being of RE break-up!
March - Being of crunchy phase aka Accupuncture
June - Random Positive HPT!!
Due February 17!
Agreed with both of these things, its difficult to think about these things. So sorry that you are having a rough day. I hope you are able to find some peace and move on to whatever may be next for you!
Clomid for 6 cycles starting August 2010- O but no BFP
SA Septemeber 2010 Looking good
HSG September 2010 All clear
1st RE visit May 2011 - IUI#1 June 20, 2011: BFN
IUI #2 July 31 2011: BFP - m/c @ 5w1d
Surprise BFP on a break cycle 10/4/11, Due June 4, 2012, Born 6/9/2012
TTC Blog
TTC#2 : Cycles 1-3 Protocol 1500mg Metformin Daily, Femara + Ovidrel, Progresterone support