VBAC

Fear of unsuccessful VBAC

I teach Bradley classes and am super supportive of the choice to VBAC. Several couples who took my class went on to have successful VBACs as well.  However, my best friend who had planned a natural birth, wound up with a c/s with her DS after a transfer from a birth center to a hospital.  She was traumatized by this experience and had a lot of post partum issues.  She is now TTC and says that ideally she would want to VBAC but she has a huge fear of it being unsuccessful and having her dreams crushed again. So she is leaning more towards a RCS.  I was curious if anyone else felt this same fear and if so, what helped you overcome it and try for your VBAC?  Other than just supporting her decisions, what else can I do?

Re: Fear of unsuccessful VBAC

  • I definitely have that fear!  I really hated my c/s experience, even though it was textbook.  I think the best she can do, and you can help her, is to be educated on VBACs and RCS.  And to have a really VBAC supportive provider.  I've done a ton of research and read a lot of books.  I know there are a few cases where I will need a RCS anyway (placenta over the scar or other emergencies).

    This time around I will have a c/s plan, so in the event I have a RCS, DH and my midwife will know how to make it the best birth possible. HTH!

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  • I really have that fear.  I hated my c section, mainly due to the g/a. The odds of needing that again are very low.

    But I also realize if I don't give myself the change to try to vbac, I could never forgive myself and always wonder "what if".

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  • I had that fear.  I was also a transfer from a birth center to a hospital that resulte in a c/s.  And I absolutely understand the fear if it all going down the same way again.  It took a lot (including finding a new provider and hospital) for me to get in the right mindset.  Surrounding yourself with support means everything.  For me, it was about trying to do everything "right" and hoping that it resulted in a VBAC.  If I ended up with a c/s in the end, I was ok with that as long as it was medically necessary and not just because I had a previous one.  Good luck to your friend.
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  • I understand this very well. I had done everything "right" for my first birth. I had support, I took the classes, I educated myself, I thought positive thoughts, drank herbal tea, the works. I was blind-sided by my horrendous labor and c/s. I had thought that if I prepared, it couldn't happen to me.

    For a long time, I assumed I would RCS so I could avoid it happening again. Personally, I had to let go of any "dreams" about the birth at all. I had to reframe the whole thing in my mind to be about what is in the best interest of my children (both the one I was carrying and the one I already had) and myself, and not about what I want or imagine should happen. I decided to VBAC for them, not for me. If at any point, VBAC became not in their interest, it would not be so crushing to change plans.

    I came to all this on my own, though. I don't think I'd have received well any advice from friends, to be honest. It just isn't their business, and regardless of which way the baby comes out, things will probably be fine. If she wants an RCS, it can still be a beautiful birth. 

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  • I think every VBAC hopeful has that fear.  I know a lot of people who choose RCS to avoid that possibility, and that's definitely a legitimate choice.

    What helped me was to remind myself that even if I had another c/s, it was going to be a different c/s.  I was not going back in time and reliving my first one.  It was a different birth and it could be a better birth, even if it wasn't the VBAC I had hoped for.

    I made a c/s birth plan and that helped me feel better about the possibility of having a RCS.  Feeling like I didn't have a voice was one of the worst things about my c/s and that was something I could try to change this time around if I had a RCS.

    GL to your friend.

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  • That's my biggest fear.  My c/s with DD was a breeze, it was planned (she was breech) and I didn't have any horrible complications.  I worry that I would attempt a VBAC and then fail and have to recover from TOL and RCS. 

    Right now DD2 is breech, so I don't know if I'll even get to try a VBAC but its still in the back of my mind.

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  • my son was frank breach, and i wasn't given the chance to labor at all ... at 42, this is my last baby, and my last chance to experience labor ... my fear is that something will prevent me from being allow to 'try' a vbac.

    an unsuccessful vbac would suck, but i think it would be worse not to have the chance to vbac.

    on to your friend, in my opinion, she has already had the worst possible experience (hard labor, c/s) ... so she knows what could happen.  but a vbac is her only opportunity for the dream, if she doesn't try she will never know.  i think she will regret not trying for the vbac ... which could make her sadder in the long run.  just my 2 cents.

  • That was my biggest fear. I did not want to go through labor (again), pushing (again) only to end in surgery. However, my whole second labor and delivery was better. It did end up in c-section but I went into labor on my own and the fact that I tried made a huge difference. I was/am disappointed that my VBAC wasn't successful, but I don't regret trying.
    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
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