PPD and 2nd child
I currently have a 2.5 year old whom I couldn't imagine my life without. In the beginning it didn't come so easily for me. I cried constantly and felt as if my world had been turned upside down. It was definitely PPD for me, but after getting on the right meds I felt much better. I think the major lifestyle change plus hormones and the surprise C-section all were major factors.
That being said, today my mom and I were talking about the future and she was saying once DS is in school, she could get me teaching jobs etc.. if I felt like using my degree, or furthering my education. I told her that I was really hoping for more kids, that I would love to stay home with my next child too. Her response was " Do you really think more children is a good idea? with everything you went through with your DS?" It hurt me to know that she questions my ability to handle another pregnancy/birth and a new baby. This is not the first time she has made that sort of comment to me about more children.
So my question is, if you had PPD with first child, what were your thoughts on having more kids? If you have more than one child, would you mind sharing your experiences with how you handled PPD with one or both children? TIA!
Re: PPD and 2nd child
Hi,
I will try not to make this too long
I have 3 kids and I had PPD (varying degrees) with each of them. My first was only a couple of weeks and I didn't need any meds. My second though was way worse and lasted longer. I went on Zoloft after 3 weeks of dealing with the PPD and it got better pretty soon after that. My 3rd baby (she is 6 weeks old now) my Dr had me start on the Zoloft immediately after delivery to try to prevent the PPD. I still got it and it was as bad as with my 2nd, but it only lasted a week and a half. I am guessing that was when the zoloft started helping. I obviously didn't let it stop me from having more kids, but I don't know if that was because I found something that helped me get better fairy quickly.
The thing that helped me was being completely honest in how I was feeling during my down times. I mean after I was better and could reflect on everything I felt, I shared it with my DH and my mom. They were prepared to step in after my next baby and help me out as best as they could. For example I would feel completely overwhelmed with little things like taking a shower or making myself a bowl of cereal. So they would make sure to help with the older kids and the baby so I was able to do little things like that. I also would have severe anxiety attacks whenever I was alone or when I was not distracted by doing something. Like when my mind had time to run away with thoughts. So my husband would turn on my favorite show or find something to distract me.
I guess the thing that made me realize I would be ok having more children was knowing that I had a great support system. Also knowing what drug worked for me and realizing it was only a short time that I had to feel bad.
I know what you mean though about comments from your mom about not having any more kids. My mom has done the same thing after each of my kids. But ultimately she supports me and I am sure yours will also
My advice for you is be realistic about the situation. Chances are you would have some degree of PPD again if you had it the first time. I always planned on dealing with it and then I didn't feel blind sided or let down when I did get it again. Then if you don't have PPD again you can be pleasantly surprised
Good luck with everything!
I am getting ready to have my 3rd child... like any moment now. haha
I had the first two 15 months apart and went in for a downward spiral of massive proportions. It was truly the most awful time of my life.
I sit here 3 years later, and am still not fully recovered. I was on a good path, but I got pg in January. a pregnancy I was trying hard to avoid b/c I was scared to death of the future. Now I'm about to face it - and I have 3 professionals lined up to walk me down this path and take care of me so I can cake care of my family.
My mother said something similar to me - "I am happy you are having another baby - and we will love him or her so much... But I just want what is best for MY baby and I hope this is your last one."
It really hurt me at first. but as time went on - I realized what she was saying... and she's right. I knew it all along or I wouldn't have been trying so hard not to get pg in the first place.
Anyway - I think being prepared is a big key to avoiding disaster. Good Luck!!