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November 2011 Moms
Bubbles412
member
Calling second, third, etc time moms! What they never tell you...
Bubbles412
member
I am constantly amazed at the types of things I learn on this board that no one ever tells you about pregnancy, birth, and life after baby comes! I was just reading a post lower down about how the hospital gives you a spray bottle after delivery because toilet paper could rip any stitches you might have....I never knew this! A co-worker told me the other day that after she delivered, her doctor told her to avoid stairs for the first few days as much as possible, so before she went in to the hospital, she made sure most of her needs and the baby's needs were on the first floor of her house so she didn't spend the day running up and down the stairs. As D-day gets nearer I wonder what else I don't know, especially about delivery, immediate post delivery, and then the first few weeks...what don't they tell you about the changes my body will go through or what to expect with LO?? Second, third time moms....what suprised you most?
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Re: Calling second, third, etc time moms! What they never tell you...
From what I know, the stairs thing is for c/s moms. I wasn't "allowed" to do stairs for 2 weeks after my c/s. Our house isn't set up to for me to make it through the day without going up and down the stairs so I did them but probably only once or twice a day.
The thing that surprised me was when my milk came in, it was in the middle of the night and I had gotten up to pee. I walked back to our bedroom and I thought my feet were going to freeze to the ground and I started shaking horribly. I have never been so cold in my life. And I didn't know what was going on. DH piled blankets on me and I nursed DD. The feeling went away after a few minutes but it wasn't until the next day that I realized that it was my milk coming in.
I was also surprised about just how long I bled and how much blood there was. It was annoying.
Shaking! I forgot about that....no one told me that once I delivered I would most likely shake uncontrollably from all the hormonal changes. It only lasted a few minutes, but I was totally taken a back by it. It happened while I was being stitched up by the doc.
Good Lord almighty, the hot flashes. I had some all throughout pregnancy but none compared to the ones post.
How insanely itchy your stretch marks get.
Also, I tore a little when my son came out and every time I peed, it burned like a mother. It got to the point where I was bending halfway over when I sat down to pee so that it wouldn't trickle down to where the sutures were.
Newborns are LOUD when they sleep. Every sound I was alert - but really didn't need to be.
Weird, I didn't bleed a ton PP. But oy vey my hormones were whacked. I was SO hot. DH said I had the temp like a meat locker and still was sweating. And I couldn't stop crying. 1 week pp at the pediatrician I kept telling everyone I was happy because I just couldn't stop the tears. Weird.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
I was on the bump enough pre-baby that most things weren't really a surprise. I was prepared for the engorgement and bleeding and even the first poop, LOL
But...
I was surprised by how much I resented my husband at times. He was great, don't get me wrong, but when he was laying there snoring while I was up with a fussy newborn, I felt angry a lot of the time.
I was surprised by how far on the priority list things like eating slipped. This time I'll make sure to have lots of food around that I can just grab and not think too much about.
I was surprised by how puffy I was for weeks after delivery.
I was surprised by how much of my day was spent nursing LO. I felt lucky to get a 30 minute break. I was also surprised by how sore nursing made me.
I wasn't prepared for how much newborns fuss and need to be held.
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
I was surprised about hemorrhoids. I had know idea you could "push too hard". So the treatment afterwards was completely new to me.
On the other hand, I was also surprised by how little DD required. I think I was prepared for some sort of natural disaster with how much DH and I stocked up on diapers, wipes, clothes, etc. This time around we have been much more reserved and constantly remind ourselves that newborns do not need mountains of stuff.
The shakes after delivery and sudden chills.
Another thing I remember is waking up in bed covered in sweat. I had to change my clothes.
Also for the first few weeks I had lost the ability to control my pee. I could hold it until I was in the bathroom, but the second I bent to sit I started peeing. Kegels helped to gain control again.
HA! We could spend all day on this topic. This is my 2nd and I'm still learning new "old" stuff; just things that I never experienced with my first. About the spray bottle, every hospital is different and mine did not give me anything like that. I was never told to avoid stairs, so I think that would be an excellent question for your doctor (ie. what should I expect physically after baby is born - either C/S or vaginally?).
So far, the only thing that I wish I had known more about with my first, was BFing. I think if I had taken a class that was offered in my area, I would have had an easier time of it. My skin is very light and apparently, that has something to do with how sensitive BFing will be for you. The nurse at the time of delivery was not kidding when she said that at first, I will experience "toe curling pain". Of course this is normal and goes away in 30-60 seconds. But yeow!! I will also be getting nipple shields before this baby comes to help out with nipple sensitivity/cracking.
GL to you, and I think that this is a topic that will go far!
OMG, I am hoping so! Some people have told me horror stories about PP sex and I'm hoping for the opposite outcome....
Posting from an Android sorry for any errors
i'm scared.
When my milk came in it felt like I had the flu until DS fed. It was awful- my temperature was like 106 and as soon as he finished eating it went back down, then the next feeding time my temp spiked again and went back down after he ate and from there on out I was good to go but man... that was awful those first two feeds when my milk came in... I thought I was dying.
I had to have an emergency c-section and they never told me that you might not feel your bladder afterwards AND they never told me they took out the catheter so I never knew I should be getting up to go to the bathroom... until my bladder started throbbing and the pain hurt as bad as the contractions. I hadn't gone to the bathroom for over 24 hours- it was like a 5 minute Austin Powers pee when I finally got into the bathroom.
Lastly they never told me that the pressure from gas would HURT on my c-section while it was healing. I normally can't fart unless I'm on the toilet and Gas-x was my best friend for the first few weeks.
- the postpartum shakes
-how I'd feel perfectly fine and then I'd start nursing and feel like I would pass out. I guess it's a natural hormone designed to relax you while you're nursing, but I was so worried I'd fall asleep any second while holding DS.
-that the first night DS slept more than a few hours, I'd wake up drenched in milk. I didn't expect a milk bath! Also, I didn't expect all the leaking - I could leak milk through three layers in a matter of seconds
-how long nursing would take - I'd sit there about an hour at a time every 2.5 hrs. I had to make sure I had my phone, a drink, a snack, the remote, etc all near me before I sat down since I knew I was going to be there a long time
-how I wouldn't feel like myself for about 6 months after delivery. I think it was hormones, adjusting to a new routine, and physical changes but I felt like I was in someone else's body for months after delivery
Hey Ladies! I was spying on you guys from the other Nov board and I just wanted to give you a piece of advice about nipple shields. I so miss being in your position. lol
You should never use one unless you are instructed to do so but an LC or a Dr.They are for nursing issues not to protect you from soreness. You baby can become "addicted" to it and refuse to nurse on the breast without one. They are also linked not only to reduced supply but to clogged ducts. Nursing should not hurt if your LO is properly latched and you should see an LC to have your latch evaluated before you leave the hospital even if you don't think you need to. Your nipples will most likely crack and bleed but the best thing to do for them is to just slather them in Lanolin(the Medela kind is better than Lansinoh) and use some Soothies. Also don't forget to grease those puppies up before you get in the shower to prevent even more drying.
I hate it when people say that "nursing should not hurt". I saw lactation consultants that verified that latch was good and DS was nursing effectively, and it hurt. A lot. I was convinced something was wrong because everyone says it shouldn't hurt, but there was absolutely nothing wrong and it hurt.
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
A few things, actually!
1. Ditto PPs on the post partum bleeding. I knew you bled for about 6 weeks but you REALLY DO BLEED for 6 weeks. LOL!
2. If your water breaks early, it KEEPS breaking! Your body continually makes amniotic fluid to keep the baby hydrated. In certain positions, your baby's head acts like a cork to stop the leaking. If you change positions, your water seems to break all over again. I had no idea about this! So, when my water broke at home, I assumed it was over with and put on a pair of jeans and went to L&D. I could hardly hold my jeans up waddling into L&D as they were soaked. LOL!
3. Vomiting during labor is common! It was about when I had dialated to 5, I got a wave of nausea and thank goodness there was a trash can nearby. I was puking pretty much up until I got my epidural at 6 cm. No one had told me about that one!
4. Post partum night sweats! Your body has ALOT of fluid to get rid of after labor and this is one of the pleasant ways it does it. I woke up a few times thinking I had spilled water all over in my bed. It was gross!
5. Breastfeeding may not come naturally. We had to work our butts off at getting a good latch. It was so worth it in the end.
One thing that shocked me (including everything else the other mommy's have mentioned thius far) is how pregnant I still looked. I remember leaving the hospital looking 7 months pregnant still. I knew that you didn't lose that baby pouch right away but wow! I never expected to look so large still.
You may have to give the baby formula if you have a larger baby or a baby with jaundice. Our hospital, while very pro bf'ing, really pushed us to supplement with DD2 because she was large. We did finger feeds, basically a syringe feed, instead of bottle feeds.
Also, make sure you see the LC in the hospital if you bf. The nurses had me start pumping to help my milk come in and the LC came to check on me and declared that the flange (horn part of the pump that goes on the boob) was "way too small" and she returned 20 minutes later with larger ones--life saver! I could actually pump comfortably. Once my milk came in, we stopped the supplementing and pumping and all was fine. So, if you have big boobs, you may need a bigger flange!
That's all I see that hasn't been posted already (oh, and the clots are pretty bad--that is no joke).
This was such a helpful post and everyone's comments are great!! However, I can't get the image out of my head of a sweaty, bloody, crying milk monster with wild hair. I wish I were a cartoonist because it would be funny!!
Humor helps, right?!
Night sweats for weeks after birth.
How swollen everything got in the nether regions. I pushed for 3.5 hours so it may have been really bad for me, but man. I refused to look down there.
How weak my midsection was. I had no ab muscles to support my back and when I would stand to bounce and rock DD my back would kill.
Just when I thought my pp bleeding was going away it would come back, especially if I tried moving around too much.
The mass hairloss about 3 months pp. It fell out in clumps.
my read shelf:
The hair loss! I had bald patches in the front that only started really coming back a year ago. It was horrifying.
Nursing never hurt for me at all - but waking up in the middle of the night with engorged breasts was a surprise. It felt like to rocks on my chest. The bright side was that when DD nursed it was instant relief.
However, nursing when I was engorged meant the milk letdown was really fast! If DD popped off she'd get sprayed in the face. That was a surprise!
I was also surprised that I never leaked milk - I had stocked up on boxes and boxes of breast pads and never needed them.
I know! I am about to do it again too!!
That was the worst thing that no one could have prepared me for. Not even the constant peeing all night before delivery compares.
The PP bleeding was intense and when you get those big clots in the hospital you do think you might be dying. I found that I would have some intense cramping, thinking it was my body saying I needed to poop when in fact I had just passed a huge blood clot -- so not comfortable. I also had a c/s but pushed for 4 hrs so I had the soreness both ways.
The first poop is really painful and I woudl say so are the subsequent ones so lay off any heavy foods that could stop you up.
If you have a c/s the gas pains you get in your back are indescribable so, so, so painful. Al that worked to help was walking and intense rubbing of the back/shoulders by a family member.
DEFINITELY have a nursing area set up for you - if not 2 (bedroom & living room). I needed food and water there at all times and yeah the night nursing (twilight hrs) are tough the first 6 weeks, you are literally like a walking zombie, begging for sleep!
Also, I went through multiple nursing pads a day -- if you don't change them often enough they literally fill up with sour milk and reeeeeeeek!
This!
I never knew I would swell so bad. I remember the first time going to the bathroom and "patting" myself dry. It was like someone placed two twinkies down there and I'm not even exaggerating. I was so shocked that It actually scared me. I remember one nurse checking me and these were her exact words "oh honey, you ARE swollen."
Also, I never knew my bladder would be affected so much. If I felt the urge to pee, it would take me 5 minutes just to get to the bathroom (it's hard to move) and by then, I couldn't hold it any longer. There were a few times, I went in my pants because I could not hold it. Thank goodness for the good 'ol hospital pads they give you. That only lasted a few days though.
What surprised me the most was how empty I felt. I got to hold my little angel, but felt so empty inside all of a sudden.... it was sad for me at first. I absolutely love feeling my LO in there and try to enjoy it as much as I can
Holding them is awesome, but when I had to lay her down while she slept or I showered or what ever I felt very alone. Needless to say they were all held constantly and very spoiled lol!!!
For all of you first time moms....so sorry you are reading all of this lol. And I don't mean that in a bad way, this is baby #4 for me and all these things are scaring the crap out of ME!!!! lol. Every one has been different for me, yet some how the same. Yes there is a lot of bleeding, and peeing. I did have issues with first BM after #1DD, but I was soooo shy and didn't bother to tell dr. until I was 2+ weeks without pooping! My stupidity and I paid for it. I didn't have leaking issues, I pumped with DS#3 and I kind of resented it. He wasn't able to feed b/c of a birth defect, so it took for ever to pump a decent amount and felt more like some cow hooked up at a dairy, but I kept it up until my milk dried for his sake. It would have been different if he had been able to feed along with the pumping. I didn't have sever shakes or sweats, with any of them, but like I said each one was different in some way and it all sounds so scary to read, but it's more likely that you will have one or two things from different posts, but not likely for you to have ALL of the scary things each of us experienced at one time.
I did swell a bit more than expected down there and if the dr doesn't give you a squirt bottle, grab one from the dollar store or something, it was wonderful to have fresh water to run over the area instead of TP with the stitches. I only had one or two stitches each time, but still it stings. Then just dab or blot to dry. My first DD slept 8 hours a night at 3 weeks and I was beside myself, I woke her up constantly to make sure she was breathing lol, my second DD hardly ever slept even during the day, she just cried 24-7. But it was also due to birth issues. My third, my DS was an angel as well, he was a bit needier than DD#1 b/c of health but a complete saint compared to DD#2 lol. The personalities make all the difference in your recovery pleasantries as well. Yes your body may feel like something from a horror movie for a few days, but you will be so occupied with this new little angel, it passes before you know it. Then you'll look back and say holy crap, I felt like this or that, but didn't really have much time or energy to focus on the negatives at times. Some days may be rough, but we are girls and our hormones can be cruel at times 