Working Moms

travelling with male co-worker (clicky)

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Re: travelling with male co-worker (clicky)

  • Nope, I've gone to several conferences with male coworkers, taken a road trip with them to get to a couple that were just a few hours a way.  But my field is fairly male dominated, so it would be less likely for me to go to a meeting with a female.  It also wouldn't bother me if he went to a work conference with a female coworker, but since there's probably only a few dozen women in his field across the whole country that'll likely never happen!
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  • DH wouldn't care in the least... then again none of my co-workers are all that enticing, so that may play a role :)

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  • this wouldn't even occur to him or me to be jealous or concerned about this. 
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  • imageKathrynMD:
    this wouldn't even occur to him or me to be jealous or concerned about this. 

    ditto. we both travel with co-workers and neither of us ever worries about the sex, race, age, etc.... it is work.

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  • imageKathrynMD:
    this wouldn't even occur to him or me to be jealous or concerned about this. 

    Ditto. I travel solo with my male ED a few times a year...this has never even crossed my mind.

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  • It is funny you brought this up.  I had to have a conversation with my employee because she refused a lunch meeting with a male employee while on a business trip because she felt it was disrespectful to her husband.  The issue was she was in trade shows all day and lunch time is the only time this person could meet.  Additionally, we have lunch meetings all the time.  First I asked if there was a reason she had an issue with this employee and the only reason was he was male and her husband is the only male she should be out eating with. Basically I told her she had to go to the meeting and that she could choose a crowded place or any place she felt comfortable it could be as easy as using a conference room and having food brought in.  I work for an engineering firm it is male dominated and there is just no way of getting around it she is going to have to meet with males most of the time to do her job.  In the back of my head I was thinking you and your husband need to grow up or you need to find another job. 

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  • All of my bosses have been male and yes I travel with them regularly. My DH has never said anything about it.  It isn't like I have a choice!
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  • imageKathrynMD:
    this wouldn't even occur to him or me to be jealous or concerned about this. 

    Us too. 

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  • It would never occur to either of us to be jealous of a work trip with a co-worker of the opposite sex. 

    About the lunch thing - I don't understand why having lunch with someone of the opposite sex would be disrespectful to a spouse.  I'm not trying to be snarky, but what's the logic behind that?

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  • imagekj07:

    About the lunch thing - I don't understand why having lunch with someone of the opposite sex would be disrespectful to a spouse.  I'm not trying to be snarky, but what's the logic behind that?

    The "logic" is that this means that they are simply being respectful! It's not about jealousy at ALL!  They trust each other... it's only a matter of respect.

     Yea....

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  • If your marriage is so healthy, then why would this even come up as a problem?
  • We trust each other so its not a problem for either of us.  On the flip side, DH is in a co-ed military field and will be doing everything but sharing barracks with women for a year. 

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  • It wouldn't even cross my mind as an issue....heck I even go out for dinner with the guys when we travel together, etc.  Lunch in a crowded place would not even cross my mind as something to be concerned about at all.

    Surely she spends more time 'alone' with people at work than meeting someone for lunch?  And don't these people have friends of the opposite sex?  

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  • imagekimbo1216:
    If your marriage is so healthy, then why would this even come up as a problem?

     I never said it was a problem for me. This topic just came up with a few of my friends and I was interested in hearing what you ladies had to say too. 

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  • imageGenevieve14:

    DH wouldn't care in the least... then again none of my co-workers are all that enticing, so that may play a role :)

    This exactly!

  • I travel frequently with male coworkers and I never even thought that DH would mind.  None of them are enticing, but he's never met them, so he wouldn't even know.

    A friend told me, though, that she travelled with a male coworker and his wife called her and told her it was inappropriate for them to be going to get a drink after work while travelling together.  Yikes!  No better way to sound crazy....

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  • Just to add a different perspective, my DH's ex-wife cheated on him with a guy at work.  He totally trusted her and here she was sleeping with another guy at work conferences and "working late."  It's a little different for he and I because we do work together, but if not, I would probably try to avoid traveling alone with a male co-worker just to avoid the anxiety I am sure he would feel, just based on past experience.  Obviously I'm a different person than she was, but once bitten, twice shy. 
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  • I used to travel extensively with my job, and it was often with one of my male colleagues (not always the same guy).  We would literally be together from breakfast through dinner for a week.  One time at the airport, the Hertz lady referrred to me as colleague's "wife."   In a shocked tone, he said, "WIFE??  She's not my wife!!"   I was jokingly insulted at his tone.  I was like, "Hey!  You'd be lucky to have me as your wife!"  In retrospect, we got a good laugh.

    But no, DH would not care about my travels.  I work in a predominantly male field so my work meetings, travel, lunches, etc. are with men.

     
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  • I've been on business trips with male coworkers where it was just the two of us.  I don't think it really bothers my husband but I don't think he's thrilled by it.  Honestly, I avoid the alone time as much as possible mostly because we aren't that close and it's awkward to hang out with someone you don't know that well and make small talk.  There's only so much small talk I can handle with a guy I have nothing in common with except our job.  I'm an accountant so the odds of me ever working with someone who is appealing to have an affair with are slim to none and I always tell me husband that :) Well, that and the fact that I have 3 small kids so the last thing I'm thinking about is an affair - mostly I just dream about sleep.
  • My very first work trip was a trade show in Vegas, with a male co-worker. My DH (my bf at the time) was not thrilled... but, he saw that there was nothing to it and since then I've got on tons of work trips, with all sorts of co-workers, and he's never had an issue with it since.
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  • imagekj07:

    It would never occur to either of us to be jealous of a work trip with a co-worker of the opposite sex. 

    About the lunch thing - I don't understand why having lunch with someone of the opposite sex would be disrespectful to a spouse.  I'm not trying to be snarky, but what's the logic behind that?

    I was not really sure about her logic.  She is young (23), this is her first job,  and I think she viewed it as crossing a line or something.  But in our line of work there is just no getting around it. If I was on trip I just would have went with her to make it better but I was not there. 

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  • When DH and I were dating, I lived with dudes.  So, no, travel would not bother him in the least.
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