Confused — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Confused

I gave birth to a beautiful girl Sept 11th, she was not due till Oct 5th.  In the hospital everything was kind of surreal, when we came home last Wednesday it started to hit that this was real.

I don't feel depressed exactly, just not myself.  I keep wondering what we'd be doing if we'd remembered to by condoms that day. Then I feel guilty for wondering.  I also wonder when I'm going to feel that special baby mom bond.  I feel sort of like I'm babysitting not that she is mine.  I have more of a connection to our cats than my daughter.  My husband and our family seem to have more of a bond with her than I do.

Is this normal?  How long before I talk to a Dr?  I don't want to worry my husband anymore that he already is.  I have chronic daily headaches similar to migraines, the last couple of days he keeps telling me he's worried about me and I hate that I make him worry.  He's afraid that the hormone crash is going to bring the pain on even worse than before.

To top everything off my mom is arriving for a month long visit tomorrow and the house is still torn up for repairs.  I just want my life back but I know that will never happen.

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Confused

  • Having a new baby is very stressful.  Give yourself time & try not to be too hard on yourself (easier said than done, I know..)  Your baby is only a few weeks old - it takes some time to form that bond - for some it's quicker than others.  Don't worry about that yet - keep loving your baby, taking good care of her & the bond will form.

    If I were you I would go see your OB - tell them what's going on.  Especially with the headaches - they could help you with that.  It's totally normal not to feel like yourself - for me it took a few months.  You have to get used to a new schedule & used to taking care of your baby. You say you want your life back, but you will adjust to this new life.  It might be helpful to join a new mom support group - then you can meet others in the same situation as you - and get out of the house!

    Hang in there - it gets better!  GL!

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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I agree with PP.  Try to give yourself time, even though words aren't always helpful.
    Even just giving your OB a call is a good first step.  From my experience and also reading this board, OBs take PPD VERY seriously and will talk over the phone or schedule a visit.

     Take full advantage of your mother's visit.  I assume she's coming to help and spend time with her two favorite people?  Get her to help with housework.  Get her to help with taking care of the baby.  Get her to watch the baby when you take naps (seriously, taking naps is VERY VERY IMPORTANT).  Talk to her about her experience.  I didn't find out my mom had mild PPD until I talked to her about my own.  It would be wonderful if she could be supportive in that aspect.  However, there are some people out there who don't get it and won't try.  If that's the case, it will be frustrating if you want to talk to her about it....but still get her to do the dishes and the laundry. Wink  And while she's there, it is a good chance for you to get that OB appointment, any followups, without the stress of having the baby with you.  Take care of yourself and let us know how it goes!

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