WWYD? — The Bump
Military Families

WWYD?

*names and dates are vague for OPSEC* 

My DH is coming back to the states....one of these days, back to the Post and militarytown we lived in. He is goint to start processing to get out (his contract is up) as soon as he comes back,  And he wants to me to stay in my Hometown while he lives in Militarytown. It's going to take a long time, and I will most likely give birth while he is there. I would like to move back to Militarytown and have the baby because his unit is notorious for not caring about soldiers or their famlies. If he tells them I am giving birth in Hometown, they are going to say "screw you , you can't leave". They have done it to several soldiers before. DH wants me to stay in Hometown because I will get waay better medical care than I would at the Army Hospital (which has a notoriously bad reputation and almost killed two of my friends  and their babies when they were preggo), or any of the local civilian hospitals.  

I really really want to be living in the same city as DH when I give birth. I don't like the idea of a "weekend husband" or "weekend daddy". I understand his reasons but to me the most important thing is for him to be able to be with our first child and experience all the milestones. I think giving birth in a local civilian hospital will be fine. I am pretty healthy and It really won't be that much trouble to move because my Hometown is only a few hours away from Militarytown. All my friends are still on Post, and would be willing to help me in any way possible.

 If you had these options, what would you do? IMHO It is important for him to see the birth, since a lot of soldiers are deployed when their kids are born.

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Re: WWYD?

  • Have you thought about switching to TriCare Standard? You can choose who your dr is and would be able to deliver off post. I personally would want to be with DH. I needed DH there for me emotionally when I gave birth. It was so important to have him there to hold our son for the first time, and change his first diaper. If he has the opportunity to witness the birth of your child, he should be there. Again, this is my opinion.
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  • Is this your first child? The Army(not sure about other branches) have regulations about child birth. If its the first born they get an automatic 10 days of leave for the birth of the child. All he should have to do is say "my wife is in labor and I'm leaving." And I would think that if hometown is only a few hours from militarytown then he should make it. Also, DEMOB for my DH only takes 10 days, and thats the drawn out version. I DEMOB'd in 3 when I came home from Iraq.
    image.
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  • He would have to get a pass to leave the area if she delivered in her hometown. The pass would have to be approved by his Company Commander (if it's Army). They DO get 10 days of paternity leave that can be used within the first year of the child's life.
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  • Theynget that 10 days for every child, first or third. I would suggest going TRICARE Standard and use the local hospital.
    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
  • I would stay in militarytown. DH and I made a promise that we would never be seperated by choice, only if the military seperates us. So, I go where DH goes. That's what I would do.
  • well, it's been diceided.

     

    I am going back! My family is a little dissapointed but my husband being able to see his child be born is the most important thing to me. I think I will be returning about a month and a half before he is done overseas.

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