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How would you handle this re: death

sooosiesooosie
in Parenting

We've just gone to our fourth funeral this year.  Three aunts and H's best friend.  The kids went to the funeral for one aunt, and of course spent more time just playing and running around.  Ian looked at the casket, and we told him that she went to heaven.  He was ok w/that as he really didn't know her very well.

They were closer to this particular aunt.  Ian (4.5) knew she was sick and wasn't going to get better, but we didn't tell him yet that she passed away.  How would you handle this?  Would you offer this information to him, or would you wait until he asked?

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Re: How would you handle this re: death

  • r9stedtr9stedt
    Yes, I would tell him sooner rather than later.


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  • mikeandmonicamikeandmonica
    I would definitely tell him before he can hear about it from someone else, and also so he can be prepared for the funeral and what he might see there.  And sorry for all your losses - that is a tough year.
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  • Cbidt's girlCbidt's girl
    I told my kids the day their granny died. I am so sorry for all your losses.
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  • BeetleLinz1125BeetleLinz1125 member
    I think they need to hear it from you...that way you can make sure it's presented in a way they will understand, and you can be there to comfort them if they struggle with the reality of it.
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  • jessicaclarejessicaclare member
    I would tell him sooner rather than later. I'd hate for my child to hear it from someone else, plus, he might have questions and want to talk about it. I'd want to be able to do that one on one, you know?
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    Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
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  • sooosiesooosie
    Thanks for the suggestions, all.  I was leaning towards telling him - glad to know others would too.
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  • shouldbworkinshouldbworkin
    Yes.  My 4 y/o was informed when my gma passed away. We'd already talked about how I had a gpa that passed away before they can remember, so it wasn't a new topic for them.  I told them that they'd gone to heaven, that their bodies were very sick and couldn't get better.   I made sure they understood the difference between the kind of "sick" that my GPs had vs. catching a cold or the flu so that they wouldn't worry the next time they got sick.  I explained that my Gpa had cancer and my gma had a stroke and what it did to them so that they could understand the difference.  I used child appropriate terms and mostly just answered their questions the best I could. They had lots of questions.
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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