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Military Families
Im not sure whats wrong with my daughter
So everyday me and Teagen watch videos of matt that he made before he left for bootcamp and usually she always smiles and coos and reaches for him well today when I turned them on she looked at me and then at the computer, stuck her lip out and buried her heads in my shoulder and will not watch them. I feel so bad. Im not sure if she just misses him or if shes forgetting him.
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Re: Im not sure whats wrong with my daughter
Maybe she just didn't feel like watching today. I have a picture of DH I give my daughter after her bath and before bed. Some nights she squeals Dada and babbles to it with a smile on her face. Other nights she looks at it and lays it down without reacting at all. The first night she did that I thought she had forgotten him but then she was all smiles the next night.
It is hard but keep watching and talking about him. When he comes home she will warm up to him and never remember that he was gone at all.
I know what you mean. Sometimes it breaks my heart when she smiles and squeals at the picture. I am afraid she thinks her daddy is a picture frame.
Agreed. I'm carrying my first, but I wouldn't read very much into this right now. It's probably not that deep. She probably just didn't want to watch today.
To be honest, in my opinion and experience, your LO is so little, she does not comprehend that her daddy is away. And, as long as you are providing and caring for her needs, she will be just fine. Deployments with a newborn/infant are tougher on the parents, but the easiest for the child.
My DH was deployed and missed LO's birth. He was home for R&R when LO was two months old. He redeployed when LO was 9 months old. They have a wonderful relationship. DH often takes LO on Saturday and Sunday mornings and they go on "adventures". My LO has not been harmed because his daddy was deployed. (And, in full disclosure, we have a video of DH reading books for LO. I did not play it for LO as often as I expected. Bad wife/mommy. I intended to play it for LO every day, but I did not. And my son still loves his daddy, very much.)
Continue to play the video for your LO when she shows interest. Show her pictures. You might even want to get a few laminated so she can carry them around when she's older. But don't worry that she is forgetting him or doesn't care. Her needs are very base right now. The things you do to make her daddy more familiar might help some, but they won't make or break their future relationship. (FWIW, in addition to having experienced this, my background is in early childhood education. I'm not an expert, but I'm not talking out my backend, either.)
I hope the remainder of your DH's deployment goes by quickly. Enjoy your daughter. Take extra good care of you BOTH! And I hope you are able to put these worries out of your mind.
She could think that! But it will go away, they're too little. When my baby sister was 2, we stayed behind while our parents and other sister were house hunting out of state. My grandma had a bunch of picutures of them around, and one day, my baby sister broke the frame with my parents' picture in it. She started crying, and grandma and I finally figured out she thought she "broke" our parents. Anyway, as soon as she saw them, she was fine. And she was 2!
My dad was gone for a year when I was 3, and I don't remember anything about that either, just making him tapes of me talking; and I'm super close to my dad. It's really not that big of a deal.