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2nd Trimester
SIL and baby name
We were almost 100% decided on a baby girl name before we found out the gender, and once it was confirmed that we are having another girl, I was even more set on and in love with the name Nora.
DH was a little nervous about it bc Nora is also the name of his sister's boyfriends (baby daddy too) mother. Get that? basically, Nora is our nephews other grandma's name. That never bothered me. It wasn't a close enough association to make me not love the name Nora.
Anyway, SIL hears about our name choice and talks to DH last night. She told him that we shouldn't/couldn't use the name bc they MIGHT have a girl one day and Nick (baby daddy) may want to name the baby after his mother.
DH now wants to talk about other names. I don't. The baby growing in my belly is Nora. That's it. I can't imagine her being named something else.
oh, and SIL lives in Alaska...very very far from us.
Ok, vent over.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SIL and baby name
i'm pretty sure you can't call dibs on a baby name ..
it seems a little immature to me..
meaning if you want to use Nora you go for it! SIL will just have to pick a different name for this "future" baby girl
They MIGHT have a girl, they MIGHT not. They might break up in six months. You, on the other hand are having a girl, she can't call "dibs" on the name.
Yep! That's what I said/think!
SIL is immature and very selfish. She is used to everyone around her doing just as she says! Thank goodness we lives 3000 miles away from her! I cringe to think how much she would be butting in if we lived in the same state!
Too freaking bad. Even if you could call dibs on a name (which you can't), what if they don't have a girl? Or even stay together in the first place? You are the one that is pregnant now, so you should get to use any name you want. If they ever end up having a girl and he decides he wants to use his mom's name (which doesn't even sound like it would be definite anyway), the cousins can have the same name.
She is being ridiculous.
I agree, you should name your baby girl whatever you want, you cant please everybody and if she does not like it owell! What if she never have a girl, you would regret not naming your daughter the name you love based off a possibility.
Good luck and I say go with your first mind
To bad so Sad for SIL! You are pregnant NOW and know its Nora.....They can't call dibs on a name when they aren't pregnant Your baby is Nora and you shouldn't change it!
Beautiful name by the way
I agree that you can't call dibs on a name, but in this case it is her own mother and I can imagine that I'd give her some credit for that.
It sounds like your DH has moved on from the name already, maybe it's worth trying.
No it's not. It's her baby daddy's mother.
THIS! Your child, your choice. Name her what YOU want to name her. How immature.
Well, I can totally see the SIL's request as being reasonable and understandable. If she were married then I would see it even more rooted in potential reality. I am usually in the "you can't reserve a name" camp, but this one is bringing me really close to the other point of view.
Close, but not completely.
With the distance, the infamiliarity between the two families, and your already loving the name prior to relationship, I wouldn't change it.
No one can "trademark" a baby name. I would name her whatever you want. You'll always regret it if you change your mind for "your SIL's boyfriend's mother", or anyone else for that matter.
Also, I think it's perfectly okay for your SIL and her boyfriend to name their baby Nora too, if they ever have a girl in the future. You can't take a name away from them either. (But if they EVER have a girl in the future, I have a feeling they are going to end up using a different name, and "Nora" is going to end up as a middle name or not being used at all...what if your SIL started hating her future MIL?)
Proud mother of two breech babies:)
She's not even pregnant though - nothing is based in reality besides the SIL being a brat. If she were pregnant and wasn't far enough along to find out the sex yet and said to OP "If this baby is a girl, we really feel strongly about naming her Nora after her grandmother." I'd say fine, let her have the name if the baby is a girl. But she's thinking about naming a baby girl that doesn't exist yet (and might not - she doesn't even seem sure about having another child).
I might have triplets someday, two girls and a boy and I like the names Amelia, Kendall, Charlotte, Olivia, Brandon, Liam and Thomas. Those are the names in the running for the triplets we might have someday, and now they are off-limits to all of my cousins and my SIL or else!!
See how ridiculous it can get?
I would just pick out of a few other names to show your husband you are thinking about it and then just talk him into the name Nora. I think it's very pretty and unique.
I also think, it doesn't matter if there are multiple people with the same name in the family as long as you don't see each other everyday.
Well, I can totally see the SIL's request as being reasonable and understandable. If she were married then I would see it even more rooted in potential reality. I am usually in the "you can't reserve a name" camp, but this one is bringing me really close to the other point of view.
Close, but not completely.
With the distance, the infamiliarity between the two families, and your already loving the name prior to relationship, I wouldn't change it.
This whole baby name claiming thing is ridiculous and insane!
When we got pregnant DH's two cousins called him and told him names they had dibs on, his grandmother's and great grandmother's, well we're having a boy so it's irrelevant but neither are married or even engaged and both are pretty religious so I know it won't happen ahead of those steps.
I guess my MIL claimed the great grandmother's name when she was having kids and then had 3 boys and DH's cousin's mom had wanted to name one of her daughters that and then was upset when she didn't because of my MIL and then she had 3 boys. Well that is both confusing and dumb.
There is no claiming names. You go with Nora and to hell with name claiming. There's no way to know she'll ever have a girl and no way to know she'll ever have a girl with that guy.
The rule should be whoever has that sex of baby first gets whatever name they want. End of story.
When my mom was pregnant with my brother, she mentioned to her sister (who was also pregnant) that she was considering using the name Joseph (a family name). Her sister got really upset and said that she had always loved that name and was planning to use it for her son. So my mom used a different name. Shortly after my brother was born, my aunt gave birth to her son... whom she named Charles.
In other words, unless SIL is in the process of signing a birth certificate with the name Nora on it, she can't "claim" a name, and there's no guarantee she'd use it if you did let her claim it. Name your baby Nora.
I'd be even more pissed that she pulled your DH off to the side and didn't include you in the entire discussion about the situation. If she has an issue with the name you have chosen, she needs to be woman enough to talk to you about it - not run behind your back and try to get your DH on her side.
She needs to put her big girl panties on and deal with it!
SIL never talks to me! She always talks to her brother. She want to know what to get our kids for bday/holiday, she asks him, who in turn ask me b/c he hasn't a clue! This is nothing new to me!
Heck, his whole family does it!
Use it. Everyone knows you can't call dibs on a name. And plusalso, why would she name her baby her mom's name? I can see for a middle name, but not for a first name. I would use it anyway.
She sounds really immature.
I say if you love it, use it...but just be aware that you can't call "dibs" anymore than they can. They may end up using that name in the future anyway.
We have a girls name picked out (that I absolutely love), but found out at our 12 week ultrasound that it is probably a boy. Anytime anyone asks what our girls name is, I tell them and then add a disclaimer.....we will still be using it if we have a girl this time or in the future, regardless of anyone else who might use it in the mean time.
It doesn't seem like you are close enough for it to be an issue. You are pregnant first so you get to choose the name you want. If SIL wants to name her baby Nora too, who is stopping her?
I honestly don't think you should change your name. SIL is far enough away that two Nora's won't be an issue. Not to mention, what if they never have a girl? You'll be bummed you never used the name.
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[/RA with Sjogren's Syndrome. Risk of heart block in newborn. Age: DH and I are both 38.
BFP #1: 11/25/2007, EDD 7/28/2008 - Missed m/c (blighted ovum) 12/6/2007 6w3d, D&C 1/3/2008.
BFP #2: 4/2008 - Natural m/c at 6w.
Met with RE in 5/2008 full cycle analysis and SA normal. Not considered high risk for blood clots but prescribed 1 baby aspirin a day precautionary during TTC and Progesterone suppositories during 1st trimester of pregnancy.
BFP #3: 10/17/2008. EDD 6/23/2009, Third time's the charm! Healthy baby boy born 6/27/2009 via emergency c-section.
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BFP #5: 1/15/2014. EDD 9/22/2014. 2/17/14:.We have a BABY!!! Heart rate 167 and measuring on time. 3/10/14 u/s #2 baby measuring perfectly at 12 weeks at heart rate of 166. NT u/s was normal. Maternit21 blood draw on 3/5/14. Results back on 3/19 - Normal. It's a BOY!!! 4/10/14 at 16 weeks, 3 days discovered baby's heart stopped at 15 weeks, 6 days. D&C 4/11/14. Pathology results were all normal. New information on 8/11/14 - blood test revealed 1/3 of babys blood was in mine caused, most likely, by a tear in the placenta from extreme coughing. Doctor believes this to be the cause of death. Repeat D&C and Hysteroscopy scheduled for 8/19/14. My Chart
I am definitely in the first come first served club
We had a suprise for #1 and had a girls name picked out. It turned out to be a boy. I then had a girl and didn't use the name we chose for #1 and I am having a girl now and we don't plan on using that name either. Tastes change ALL THE TIME!
We choose to do family names for MNs. Our DS's mn is Timothy....so is my nephew. Who cares. My SILs had a bit of a spat over the name Aiden when my older SIL was pg. It was my younger SILs "name". My nephew is named Aiden and my younger SIL just had a baby girl 5 years after Aiden was born. A lot can change in 5 years.
Go with your Nora. If she wants a Nora too....good for her. You of all people will know how good of a name it is!
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THIS!
My only advice... in any discussion with her about this, DO NOT use the argument that she may not stay together with him as a reason for you to use the name.
It may sound obvious, but it in the heat of the moment it may pop out (if the idea is in your head) and if they do stay together, that comment will haunt you forever.
If you love the name use it and tell them IF they have a girl and IF they want to use it, they can.