OK, how do I keep my 3 y.o. in his bed at bedtime?

Yodajo · September 2011

This has been going on for a month.

Every night, we put him to bed and every night, he turns on the light to his room and creeps out and runs into his brother's room to bother him. It's a big game to him. I am not kidding when I say there have been some nights where we've had to put him back into bed over a dozen times.

We have tried quietly taking him back to his bed, raising our voices, sitting outside his door, reward charts, everything I can think of short of a lock. I was thinking of going the lock route, but then I feel that at three, he is old enough to listen and I shouldn't have to resort to that.

So, whatever tips you have, please share. DH is out of town for most of the week and I will lose myshit if I have to deal with this the whole time.

Yodajo · September 2011

I think it's mildly funny to mention that my mom watched them here overnight while we went to a wedding this weekend and she was so beside herself with his behavior that she unscrewed the lightbulb in his ceiling light. Too bad she forgot about the lamp. Stick out tongue

AnnapolisLari · September 2011

This would be why K is still in her crib with the "Princess Tent" over it. We can zip her azz in.

Do they make zippered tents for twin beds?

CTFandme · September 2011

I wish I had some advice, but I'm in the same boat. We do have a lock on her door, but she doesn't care. She will play in her room all night by herself! The only way we can get her to sleep is if we sit in her room until she falls 90% asleep then quietly leave. Such a bad habit!

mlm1128 · September 2011

They do make tents for twin beds. That may work. I would never put a lock on dd's room, only because I am paranoid that if god forbid something happened I would not get to her. She did that for months, only she came in our room.

Short of duct tape, I have no suggestions. Nothing we did worked. SHe just grew out of it eventually.

r9stedt · September 2011

Super glue.

justEK · September 2011

Have you tried giving them one chance to sleep in the same room?

Yodajo · September 2011

justEK:
Have you tried giving them one chance to sleep in the same room?

Many times! They just play and get wilder and wilder as the night goes on. I kid you not, they HAD to share a room while on vacation this summer and were up until 2am one night.

I hear him thumping around up there again and I have already been up there four times.

r9stedt · September 2011

I really have no advice as L has been out of bed 2 times now.

JenniC1135 · September 2011

Does he still nap? If so, try getting rid of it and move bedtime a bit earlier if needed?

justEK · September 2011

Yodajo:
justEK:
Have you tried giving them one chance to sleep in the same room?

Many times! They just play and get wilder and wilder as the night goes on. I kid you not, they HAD to share a room while on vacation this summer and were up until 2am one night.

I hear him thumping around up there again and I have already been up there four times.

I'm mean. I threaten to take his night night away and now I don't even have to take it. Just say it. All the nonsense stops. It's sweet that they love to play!
Is he still napping? Maybe it's time to cut back or drop it? If he is that is.

blueshirt2003 · September 2011

My 3 year old went through a huge phase of doing this when he had just turned 3. Nothing worked that we tried. He grew out of it after 2-3 months. :-/ lol...

Yodajo · September 2011

I

justEK:
Yodajo:
justEK:
Have you tried giving them one chance to sleep in the same room?

Many times! They just play and get wilder and wilder as the night goes on. I kid you not, they HAD to share a room while on vacation this summer and were up until 2am one night.

I hear him thumping around up there again and I have already been up there four times.

I'm mean. I threaten to take his night night away and now I don't even have to take it. Just say it. All the nonsense stops. It's sweet that they love to play!
Is he still napping? Maybe it's time to cut back or drop it? If he is that is.

Yes, he still naps, but I really don't want to drop it. Today he skipped his nap and he's still doing this. That is the one thing I (selfishly) am resisting trying.

Yodajo · September 2011

blueshirt2003:
My 3 year old went through a huge phase of doing this when he had just turned 3. Nothing worked that we tried. He grew out of it after 2-3 months. :-/ lol...

2-3 months?! God help us.

Sometimes I feel like its a developmental thing he is going through and he is about to hit some milestone. He has also been randomly getting up in the middle of the night to be held, to pee (which he never did before) and one morning DH found him sleeping on his blankie on the floor outside our door. Maybe a month is too long to be working on a milestone though!

justEK · September 2011

I don't blame you. If I can get my 5 year old to nap, I do. My 3 year old gets zipped in his crib with a crib tent. DD was almost 4 and still in hers. I need them to nap!

I think duct tape works really well.

AggieCouple · September 2011

TB was doing this too. Our solution is to not have him nap on days he wakes up later than usual. If he does nap, we let him come hang out with us for 30 minutes or so after ML falls asleep. I felt bad making him just lie in bed when he simply wasn't sleepy yet. He loves it, and it gives me some extra time to cuddle with him and give him some one-on-one time. Usually, after that, he'll go right to sleep. So, like around 8:30'ish, he'll be out. When we did make him just lie in bed, he'd sometimes lie awake (getting up, messing around, etc) until 10:00. So I think with TB, at least, it was a need to have more attention, esp since AM was born, and maybe more time to burn off some energy.

Yodajo · September 2011

He's so funny too. I just went up there and caught him with his light on. As soon as he saw me, he starts saying, "I love you, Mommy. I love you, Mommy." because he knew I was upset. I was trying to do the whole Supernanny quiet thing and I had to reply that I loved him too and blow that technique.

justEK · September 2011

Aggie- now that you mention it, Emily went through the same thing. We'd let her have a small bowl of cereal or just hang out and chat with us. Sometimes a quiet game. Then she'd go to her room and go right out!

justEK · September 2011

I just thought of something else. Sometimes she just wanted to lay in her bed with her light off and chat with me to talk about her day. You know how sometimes the excitement or stress of our day keeps us up? I imagine it happens with them, too. Once she got all her thoughts out, she could sleep.

Ciarrai · September 2011

My girls do share a room, but I locked them in up until recently with a baby gate. It was enough to sleep them in while I could still see them. I know people who have used two gates so the kids couldn't climb over them and others who turned the door knob around so the lock was on the outside. Or even just put one of those child-lock, knob covers on the inside knob if your LO can't get them off or open the door with those on there.

FWIW - The girls don't have any toys in their room except stuffed animals and books. They still went through a phase when they weren't napping but i was still trying. They would take all their clothes out of their drawer and dress their stuffed animals and play party. Even without any toys, the kids find something to play with, but it's more boring and less entertaining so you ha ve a better shot of him getting bored and going to bed.

AggieCouple · September 2011

justEK:
Aggie- now that you mention it, Emily went through the same thing. We'd let her have a small bowl of cereal or just hang out and chat with us. Sometimes a quiet game. Then she'd go to her room and go right out!

I just figure... why fight them? It won't make them do what you want them to do, which is go to sleep. At best, they'll lie in bed just staring at the ceiling and what good does that do anybody? Might as well get in an extra book or puzzle, and make them feel a little special. Sometimes, if I'm working, he'll just come hang out in the work room and color, so really, no sweat off my nose.

Yodajo · September 2011

AggieCouple:
TB was doing this too. Our solution is to not have him nap on days he wakes up later than usual. If he does nap, we let him come hang out with us for 30 minutes or so after ML falls asleep. I felt bad making him just lie in bed when he simply wasn't sleepy yet. He loves it, and it gives me some extra time to cuddle with him and give him some one-on-one time. Usually, after that, he'll go right to sleep. So, like around 8:30'ish, he'll be out. When we did make him just lie in bed, he'd sometimes lie awake (getting up, messing around, etc) until 10:00. So I think with TB, at least, it was a need to have more attention, esp since AM was born, and maybe more time to burn off some energy.

They have been sleeping in, so maybe I should wake them earlier. Today he was up at 9:30-10. I am just pacing around waiting for them to wake in the morning, so I can easily and gladly wake him.

AggieCouple · September 2011

Yodajo:
They have been sleeping in, so maybe I should wake them earlier. Today he was up at 9:30-10. I am just pacing around waiting for them to wake in the morning, so I can easily and gladly wake him.

Holy cr*p! I'll trade you any day. AM is up at 6:30 at the latest every morning, and ML is up at 7:30 regardless of what time she goes to bed. 9:30! I haven't slept in that late since... 2006.

justEK · September 2011

OMG 10am? Justin has been getting up at 530-6am. So I would say he's had enough sleep. I would probably go in and chat with him for 30 minutes or so to see if it helps.

Zenya · September 2011

Yodajo:

They have been sleeping in, so maybe I should wake them earlier. Today he was up at 9:30-10. I am just pacing around waiting for them to wake in the morning, so I can easily and gladly wake him.

If he's not getting up until that time then he wouldn't be ready for sleep at night until at LEAST that time (PM), right? That's how mine are, anyway. And if DS napped after the age of 2 I had at to add add that on as well.

so - up at 7am means bed at 7pm. And then if he napped for 2 hours that meant bed not until 9pm.

If your DS is sleeping until 10am? Then I think that's your issue maybe? Or if that's just on weekends then that might be the issue, too. I think it's important to keep wake/sleep times consistent every day (week or weekend).

J&A2008 · September 2011

I still read books with our 3 yr old and stay in his bed until he falls asleep. This past summer we had gotten him trained to stay in bed by himself until he fell asleep, but then we moved, and he hasn't been doing it since.

Yodajo · September 2011

They are never up before 8:30 and usually 9 is the norm. Max was up playing until 11, so that is why he slept in that late. I did let him crawl into bed with me last night a little after 10 to cuddle and watch tv, so I don't always fight it. I think its become a power struggle and that is what's so annoying now!

justEK · September 2011

Embrace it honey

Late wake-ups= Late bedtimes. I would so wake them up at 8am in the morning.

Zenya · September 2011

I know. Those things drive me nutso, too. (power struggles, we have many!!)

Angela814 · September 2011

Zenya:
Yodajo:

They have been sleeping in, so maybe I should wake them earlier. Today he was up at 9:30-10. I am just pacing around waiting for them to wake in the morning, so I can easily and gladly wake him.
If he's not getting up until that time then he wouldn't be ready for sleep at night until at LEAST that time (PM), right? That's how mine are, anyway. And if DS napped after the age of 2 I had at to add add that on as well.
so - up at 7am means bed at 7pm. And then if he napped for 2 hours that meant bed not until 9pm.
If your DS is sleeping until 10am? Then I think that's your issue maybe? Or if that's just on weekends then that might be the issue, too. I think it's important to keep wake/sleep times consistent every day (week or weekend).

I agree. It sounds like he's just not tired. Right now DD1 sleeps 11 hrs at night with no naps. DD2 sleeps about 10.5 hrs at night with 2-3 hrs of naps. I calculate bedtimes based on when they need to wake up in the morning. You could figure out how long they need to sleep, what bedtime you want, and then calculate when you should wake them up. Make sure you shift meal times and naps with that.

+AlternatelyEgotisical+ · September 2011

I wish I knew. My 4yo does the same thing and it makes me positively stabby.

amiamish · September 2011

Mine do it too, both of them but they share a room. Some nights I just lay in there with them and they both go to sleep within 10-15min.

Mominator · September 2011

I think you got your answer, he is sleeping too late and just not tired at bedtime. Like, with my kids, we usually go over the neighbors house on Saturday nights so they don't usually get into bed until after 10. So of course, Sunday morning they then sleep til 9-10, but Sunday night when I want to put them to bed at 8, they aren't tired. If I were you I would either start waking them up earlier in the AM or just resign to a later bedtime and let them sleep in in the morning. If he's tired enough at bedtime, logic says that he won't get out of bed 15 hundred times, well, in my head anyway LOL

DandelionMom · September 2011

Tell him there's a monster under his bed that will grab his ankles if he gets up before 9 am.

bubu · September 2011

We moved DD into a big girl bed at 2.5 yrs old (she's 5 now), we tried the nanny's way of quietly putting her back in her bed but that drove me insane because it wasn't working. Then we tried the baby gate but she kept trying to climb out of it so then we put the door knob thing on so they can't open the door, worked like a charm. She fell asleep in front of the door several times before she finally would just go into her bed. It took about 2 weeks at the most before she would just stay in her bed. I didn't care if she got out and played or what ever as long as she was in her room because I was going to bed regardless. She took herself off of her naps at 3.5 and she's a great sleeper, she doesn't stall at bed time and can sleep through her brother crying in the same room. Hope you find a solution soon.

joy143dh · September 2011

He was a little younger than your DS so I'm not sure if it'll work, but we put a moon on his door and told DS that, at night, his "new" door could only be opened in an emergency. For 3 nights, I held his door shut while he tried to open it. I could see him in the monitor and vowed to open the door if he got upset. He never screamed.. just got a little frustrated and would climb back into his bed. He tried getting out 8-10 times the first night, 4-5 the next, and 1 time the last night. DH still thinks I'm a genius for getting him to stay in his room after 4 months of putting him back 10 times a night. GL!

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