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C-sections
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What to do if DH doesn't spend the night?
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in C-sections
We have plans to send DS my parents' house, which is very close and he spends the night there a lot, but never for more than one night. Ideally I would like DH to be able to possibly go home and stay with him one night if he is having a hard time. However, last time I was in for a c-section I couldn't get up and down for the first two nights and having DH there all night was essential because he would get up and bring me the baby to BF or change diapers in the middle of the night when he cried.
Did anyone have a c-section and not have their DH or someone else with them overnight? Do you just have to call the nurse to get the baby and bring him to you every time he cries and then call them again to put him back? I'm just not sure how this would work out so I'm nervous about having DH leave us alone, but I also want DS #1 to be comfortable.This discussion has been closed.
Re: What to do if DH doesn't spend the night?
The plan for us was for my husband to go home on the second night and for my mom to stay with me (he just started a new job). Due to my sister freaking out and visitor hours ending within 10 minutes of each other my mom left and DH stayed the night. But he barely did anything, actually. I think it would have been smarter to just use the nurse call button to come and help me instead of trying to wake up DH, who also wasn't sleeping well on the couch in the room. It would have been better for him to be a bit more well rested for life after the hospital. Even more so if it meant I had peace of mind that DS #1 was happy and being taken care of.
Will DH be there during the day? It's not like he's forsaking fatherly duties and going on a vacation or anything.
Our hosptial doesn't have a nursery, all infants room with their moms. I guess I should ask the hospital how this is usually handled. I just feel weird about constantly pushing the on call button, but I guess that is what they are there for.
DH will be with me during the day.
My hospital doesn't allow the baby to stay in the room unless someone is awake so my girls always went to the nursery and were brought to me for feeding (I breastfed). If you're rooming in with the baby then I would certainly call a nurse for help whenever you need it. That's what they're there for and they don't/ shouldn't mind at all.
I only had DH with me one night for both of my previous c-sections and that was the first night. After that he went home and got rest because he went back to work so he could use his time off (vacation time, really) when the baby and I were home from the hospital. My mom sat with me during the day and then DH would come when he got off of work. This time around he'll be staying all the nights I'm at the hospital at home because both of our daughters are in school (well, first grade is obviously mandatory and preschool could be skipped but we're keeping her in routine since her older sister will be going to school). I plan on calling the nurses as much as necessary and I don't expect it to be a problem.
Good luck!!!
I was alone for the first night with DS and it was very very tough emotionally. I wasn't able to pick up DS when he cried to be fed or changed. He ended up sleeping in bed with me most of the night. With breastfeeding, etc. my IV's were all kinds of screwed up by the morning. I hated having to buzz for a nurse every time... and sometimes wait waaaay too long while my baby cried for me.
Sorry to be so negative... It was one of the toughest parts of having a c-section in my opinion. I hope I never have to go through that again, but the hospital just happened to be super busy that night and I didn't get the private room I had requested.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
- Robert Munsch
I had my c/s with DD2 in the wee hours of the morning. DH went home by 6 a.m. so that he could be there when DD1 woke up (we had some friends crash at our place during the night when we had to go to the hospital).
He came back later, but yes, in the meantime I just called the nurse each time DD2 cried so that someone could bring her to me -- I was in a lot of pain and had a very hard time getting myself around, much less carrying her or pushing her cart. I could generally get her back into her little shoebox thingie afterwards if they pushed it next to the bed, but often someone would come in to check on me and move it away, and then I'd be back to square one and have to call again.
Our hospital does not have a nursery, all babies room in unless there is a health issue. You can send them to the nurses station, but I wanted her to be near me. I felt like a bit of a bother calling for that help, but I simply wasn't physically able to get her myself, change her (with cloth diapers that had to be put in a certain bin across the room, with paper towels for wipes that had to be wet in the sink), and get both of us back in bed safely.
I was never alone for extended periods, thankfully, but that was one thing that was kind of a PITA.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
If I'd been alone, baby would have had to go to the nursery. We weren't allowed to both be sleeping with the baby in the room.
When I go in to have this baby, my mom is staying at our house with DD. DH will spend time with her during the day and probably napping at home for a bit, but staying with me overnight.
Court
DH 40 ME 40
GD, Myasthenia Gravis, Factor V Leiden
DS #1 born via emergancy c-section 01/23/06 at 37w
DS#2 born via c-section 10/27/2007 at 36w due to PROM
DS #3 born via repeat c-section 04/13/2012 at 39w
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away." - George Carlin
This post is too funny!
But, to the original poster...is it possible that your husband could go home at a certain time to make sure your first child is asleep and tucked away (like from 7:30-9:30) -- then return to the hospital? I hate to be a debby downer but I sure would hate for you to have to deal with that baby by yourself - especially the first night when you probably won;t even be able to move. I think your first child will be okay, it's only for a few days that you would need your hubby to spend the night with you at the hospital.
This. This is what I did with DD. Our bathroom was under construction (was being tiled while I was in surgery) so DH had to run back and forth. Honestly, I slept better knowing he was coming up at XX time. I had my mom come help me the 2nd day and then after that I was pretty much good to go. The sleep was what helped the most though.
I had DD at 5 pm on a Monday, I was able to get up and walk the following evening. I kept her bed right next to me, but mostly I held her, she didn't sleep in her bed until day 3. DH wasn't any help at night, her cries did't wake him so I was basically alone at night too. He went back to work my last day there, but I was able to get up and around after. What about asking a friend to help you out if your DH isn't there?
With my last c/s my dh stayed with me the first night. Afte that he stayed home with DS#1.
The hospital gave me a choice of having him in with me or in the nursery. I had him with me. It worked fine. I had a step stool which helped a lot! with getting in and out of bed. and do not feel bad about buzzing a nurse it is thier job to help you- take advantage of it. they are getting paid so do not sacrific your healing time or stress levels.
This is exactly what I did.
*BFP 10/15/11*CP 10/18/11*
*BFP 2/1/12*EDD 10/14/12*natural M/C 2/24/12 7w*
*BFP 5/2/12*E born 01/03/13 (her due date)
I was alone in the room for my entire stay. The rooms in NY hospitals are tiny. There was no space for DH. DS was in the NICU for the first 2.5 days though so I'm not sure how it would have gone if he was in the room w/ me. However the nurse's station was a few feet away from my room and they showed up almost instantly when you buzzed them so I think if DS stayed in my room they'd have come to help as quick as DH would. This time DH won't stay w/ me either for same reason (small room) and b/c he has to stay home w/ DS. I'm thinking I'll send the baby to the nursery and have him brought to me for bfing every 3 hrs. If I couldn't send him to the nursery I'd just make sure the nurse knew that I'd need help at night.
Why couldnt you just have the bassinet close enough to your bed? I never had to get completely out of bed to pick up the baby and tend to him/her.
I am having a repeat c/s and our plan is to have DS stay one night with my parents and one night with DH's parents and if I stay a third night then I plan to send DH home to spend a one on one night with DS before we bring the baby home.
DH is worried about leaving me alone even for one night (too cute!), but I figure I will be up and moving by that point and I can just move the bassinet to the side of my bed so I won't have to move far to get the baby in the middle of the night. Otherwise I will just call the nurses to help.
The last time, the lady next door to me was alone at night. Her DH went home every night and the nurses were paged to her room constantly to help her throughout the night. Her LO cried, it seemed like, ALL THE TIME, so they were in there a lot to try to help her soothe and calm the baby.
Our hospital does not have a nursery, all healthy babies room-in with the moms.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
I had a c/s at 1 PM and wasn't allowed out of bed till midnight. DD was in NICU so I didn't have to worry about a baby, but I am glad he was there for me, emotionally.
Next time, of course, I will be more worried about DD. So we'll see how I feel, what time the c/s is, who can stay with DD or me....etc.
I Canada, at least where I am, they don't let anyone (even the dad) stay past 11 pm. So I was alone for 2 c/s.
My kids were in the NICU though, so I didn't really have that issue. I did have DD in my room for her last night. Honestly I do NOT remember how it went. I was 3 days PP.