- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Success after IF
Total Vent: I miss my DH
Ever feel like your DH and you are like two ships passing in the night?! Well DH and I are that...I can't remember the last time (well yes I can it was the middle of August) that we spent quality time together as a family and alone. He has been working like a dog since Labor Day weekend.
.HE has had crazy long baseball homestands, Monday night football, long houra at work getting ready for football games, events in between, a double header football games this weekend, baseball again Monday, Tuesday, Wed, and then we are supposed to go to Tamp (4hours away) for a wedding on Friday that DH is in and can't really miss but we have be back on Friday night at some decent hour so that he can go back in to work Saturday for another football game! Oh and my birthday is on Thursday and my SIL is flying from Boston cause we needed someone to watch Jake!
He is exhusted, I am exhuasted. When he has had a few hours off here and there he wants to spend time with Jake which is awesome. They both miss each other like mad. But by the time Jake is asleep we are both passed out on the couch in front of the tv. NOt a lot of time for real conversation/intamacy.
IAnd I am tired of being a single parent. Its soo hard! I want DH there to do things with, so that we can spend time together as family..and me not be that parent who shows up to everything alone. I mean, I am so used to it at this point. I have been doing things "alone" for most of our relationship. I knew this when I married him what I was getting into with someone that works in Sports/entertainment..when everyone else is playing my DH is working. And I knew his schedule for September was going to be crazy. I just didn't realize how lonely I am until tonight. To make matters worse, my dad and his gf. are at a dear friends of mine wedding In Boston that I couldn't make (can't travel alone with a 13 month old and being 4 mths pg)..I am not THAT crazy! ANd my dad is texting me pictures and I want to be there so bad....
I am going to get off my soap box now and put my big girl panties on and not complain any more!! Thanks for letting me get that all out I need that!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Total Vent: I miss my DH
that sounds SO tough! you absolutely deserve some venting!
i hope his schedule gets less crazy soon and you can have some couple time.
ohh sweetie HUGE (((((hugs))))! I could have written this post myself (aside fro the baseball stuff). DH has been on an overnight assignment for 8 weeks. It's so hard being alone, especially at night. And when he is home during the day, he's asleep half of the time. When he has Henry he is amazing and super helpful but we rarely have family time together. When we do, we savor it. We are together this weekend and we are trying to not been think about work, because once Monday comes it will be back to the craziness of pass and go.
I'm here if you need someone to listen/talk to!
Diagnosed PCOS & MFI-Success with IUI
I can relate. My DH travels for work, and I am often (read: usually) left by myself with DS. I am also from Boston, and now live thousands of miles from any family, in IN. But, we've been here long enough that I've got my own network now and community here, so that helps. Still...nothing replaces family, and it's hard being the only one to really experience all the stuff your child is doing first-hand, and not have family to share and enjoy it all with. I also used to date a Sports Mktg Exec, too- and know exactly how brutal that schedule was. At least we were not married then, and without kids - so I was able to "tag along" to a lot of his less intense events and that way we could somehow feel like we were seeing eachother and spending time together in some way. It did suck, though- lots of weeknight and weekend obligations, and not a lot of payback for him - it got to the point where when he was with me, all he ever wanted to do was stay in - he was exhausted most of the time. All I can tell you, is do the best you can to build your own network. You need to have something of your own, so you don't end up feeling resentful over his commitment to work. If he's still climbing in that career, it will take a while before he lands anything where he has some measure of control over his schedule. You'll need your own outlet. I know it won't solve the issue of HIM not being there more, but - it will keep the bitterness at bay. Just make sure he knows you and Jake miss him, and see if you can't plan at least one night a week to connect, just the two of you- even if it's just making dinner together and sitting across a table to talk after Jake has gone to bed. My DH loves his career, but HATES being away from us. He tries really hard to get home as soon as he can, and to commit to being here when his work is behind him every week. It takes a lot of planning on his part - and I fully appreciate that when I see him trying to be sure he gets that QT. Friday nights, especially, are off-limits for us when it comes to friends and other social obligations. Neither of us would dream of making plans on a Friday night, bc that tends to be our "Pay-per-view and take-out" night, after DS is asleep. It's just one night in the entire week, but we savor it, and protect it bc we both know how re-charged we feel as a couple on Sat. mornings.
Good luck - I know how hard it is for you. I'm also pg, btw - so as I grow ever-bigger out front, taking care of my 2yo alone is only gonna be more of a challenge. Ahh...Good times ahead! But...you will get through it. You're a phenomenal partner, btw, to have supported your DH's particular career choice in such a big way, and to be taking such good care of your family, despite the obvious challenges.