fight with hubby lastnight :( about labor plans

JennPierog · September 2011

So my a** HOLE hubby thinks since he has had kindey stones he knows all about labor pains. He tells me lastnight that I HAVE to have an epidural beacuse I'm gonna be in a "world of hurt" no sh!t! I'm very adament about not wanting an epidural or a C-section (unless life threathing) I pleeded my case with him and he just said a ton of dumb uneducated crap. What pushed me over the edge when he said "your not gonna endanger the life of my child to show off" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I'm a nurse so I'm not blind to what happens in labor. I was also apart of a very tragic event in our OB unit last year that has left me with my own issues on labor. So where does he get off not supporting my choices and acting like he knows better then me. I'm so pissed! vent over thanks for listening

steveandkim2 · September 2011

I'm also planning/hoping to have an unmedicated birth, and at first DH couldn't understand why. He thought that after everything I've been through, he couldn't fathom why I was scared of the epidural or why I would want to put my body through more hell. He finally was "its your body/your decision" but I could tell he thought I was nuts. I think its their natural hubby instinct to want to protect his wife and child from pain.

After watching some documentaries (The business of being born; pregnant in america) DH's opinion changed and he's completely 100% on board. DH really liked Pregnant in America. We also took a Bradley birth class, which is centered on "husband coached" birth which is great for us b/c DH feels like he's an active participant. We do exercises weekly and the class helps you focus on yoru communication so you're on the same page as your husband. As our leader says -- DH becomes the "drug" we need to get through and manage the pain. For my husband, I think that fact is helping him channel his protective instinct of his family into a way that corresponds with my vision of birth.

Maybe some of those ideas can help.

JennPierog · September 2011

steveandkim2:
I'm also planning/hoping to have an unmedicated birth, and at first DH couldn't understand why. He thought that after everything I've been through, he couldn't fathom why I was scared of the epidural or why I would want to put my body through more hell. He finally was "its your body/your decision" but I could tell he thought I was nuts. I think its their natural hubby instinct to want to protect his wife and child from pain.

After watching some documentaries (The business of being born; pregnant in america) DH's opinion changed and he's completely 100% on board. DH really liked Pregnant in America. We also took a Bradley birth class, which is centered on "husband coached" birth which is great for us b/c DH feels like he's an active participant. We do exercises weekly and the class helps you focus on yoru communication so you're on the same page as your husband. As our leader says -- DH becomes the "drug" we need to get through and manage the pain. For my husband, I think that fact is helping him channel his protective instinct of his family into a way that corresponds with my vision of birth.

Maybe some of those ideas can help.

great ideas thanks!

JennPierog · September 2011

PappsMcgee:
Sorry Why does he care what you do? My hubs says whatever I want since I'm the one going through it.... did he bring up anything to back his case?
Sorry he's not being understanding

I know he is trying to be helpful, he's just doing it in the wrong way. He dosn't think I should have any pain. Well he's gonna have a wake up call when labor starts. He just dosen't understand my point of view.

JennPierog · September 2011

PappsMcgee:
Sorry Why does he care what you do? My hubs says whatever I want since I'm the one going through it.... did he bring up anything to back his case?
Sorry he's not being understanding

I know he is trying to be helpful, he's just doing it in the wrong way. He dosn't think I should have any pain. Well he's gonna have a wake up call when labor starts. He just dosen't understand my point of view.

TheMrsRN · September 2011

I am really confused what he means by telling you that you aren't going to endanger your child to show off???!!! Does he think a natural childbirth is more risky for you or your baby? Because it is quite the opposite. An epidural, pitocin, c section, etc. are all risky procedures that could have potential complications for you and your baby. I HIGHLY suggest you have him read husband coached childbirth and watch the documentaries mentioned by the PP. We are taking the Bradley classes together, and I think if you are serious about an unmedicated birth, you and your husband should do them too! I think once he knows and understands the risks of a medicated birth, he will be on board for supporting you during a natural birth.

MrsVo · September 2011

I'm sorry

I'm in the pro-epi camp but I totally support anyone who wants to go natural. I hope it works out for you!

pghjen · September 2011

At my last appt, my midwife and I were talking about the actual birth b/c my hubby and I won't be able to take a class. She said of of the things we should talk about is how I will manage the pain, because in her experience, it is really hard for the husband to see their wife in pain and they want to "fix" it.

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fight with hubby lastnight :( about labor plans

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