Pumping, meetings and mean looks...

sarahice · September 2011

Hi, I am a project manager at a very male dominated engineering company. Sometimes I have really long meetings, for example yesterday I had one meeting for 4 hours and then another directly after for 2 more hours. When I told the facilitator of the 4 hour meeting I would need to step out for about 20 minutes I got the eye role. I guess they think I am stepping out to do my nails or something, anyway my question is what do you tell people in this situation? Do you say "I have to take care of something," "excuse me while I pump," or what? It's none of their business, but I'm sick of the look I get, like I'm going off to take a break or something. TIA!

kimbo1216 · September 2011

I'd just tell them. You may not think so, but in this situation, it kind of is their business to a certain extent. The facilitator/manager/supervisor needs to know why you should be excused and no one else. They need to know you aren't just going to get your nails done and that you do have a good reason. Pumping is a very good reason. Besides, as soon as you say the word pump, most men will get uncomfortable and not have you explain any further. lol.

kj07 · September 2011

I tell people (males/females) at my job. I find people, in general, are much more understanding of the interruption and why it can't just be a quick 5 minute bathroom break.

Genevieve14 · September 2011

kimbo1216:
I'd just tell them. You may not think so, but in this situation, it kind of is their business to a certain extent. The facilitator/manager/supervisor needs to know why you should be excused and no one else. They need to know you aren't just going to get your nails done and that you do have a good reason. Pumping is a very good reason. Besides, as soon as you say the word pump, most men will get uncomfortable and not have you explain any further. lol.

This. Every time I've brought it up with any male, he's changed the subject. I just matter-of-factly say, I need to pump, and offer no further explanation. Usually works just fine. Good luck.

Cat-in-Boston · September 2011

I return to work on Monday and just emailed my director explaining that I want to pump while at the office and explained how it would only take 20 minutes, 3 times per day and asked for her to approve a quiet space for me to go and do this at and let her know that I'm going to work it in around my meetings whenever possible.

Just tell them the truth and if it's women they'll support you and men don't want to discuss it... just let them know what fridge your storing your BM in and keep it very far from their stuff as some men do get freaked out by that.

DallasHorn · September 2011

I would just tell the faciliator you have to step out. I would assume there is some sort of break given for a 4 hour meeting so if you can couple pumping with that break, you are missing less.

Bella427 · September 2011

I'm very blunt about it. No one else here has kids and they all get really awkward and don't ask another thing.

sarahice · September 2011

Thanks for the feedback. I feel weird telling them, but I guess it's either that or have them think I'm a slacker.

silivren · September 2011

PrivacyWanted:
I was only pressed for a reason 2x in a year. Once the pressing stopped when I said "I have a medical reason." The second time he pressed on and I said I needed to pump...he still pressed on and I told him if he wasn't going to take a break I'd just pump right there in the room. That finally shut him up.

This! Love this!

katiewhompus · September 2011

I just told my boss the first day that I was going to need to disappear 3 times a day to pump for my DD. I was lucky that he was broken in by his wife who bf'd/pumped for 2 years.

sallydraper · September 2011

PrivacyWanted:
I just stopped pumping, but did so for a year. When I've had to say something, it is usually because I was at a deposition with other attorneys (strangers and not co-workers). At first I'd request a break (which is standard) and say "Gentlemen I need a little longer than normal, can we take 20 minutes."

I was only pressed for a reason 2x in a year. Once the pressing stopped when I said "I have a medical reason." The second time he pressed on and I said I needed to pump...he still pressed on and I told him if he wasn't going to take a break I'd just pump right there in the room. That finally shut him up.

Love it! I've been dreading how to deal with pumping during depos and mediations. I'm going to remember your response for future use.

Honestly though, if someone says they have a medical reason, only a jacka** would press the issue.

Genevieve14 · September 2011

silivren:

PrivacyWanted:
I was only pressed for a reason 2x in a year. Once the pressing stopped when I said "I have a medical reason." The second time he pressed on and I said I needed to pump...he still pressed on and I told him if he wasn't going to take a break I'd just pump right there in the room. That finally shut him up.

This! Love this!

This made me laugh out loud. It's rare that I come across an opposing counsel that is such a d-bag, but awesome that you stood up to him. Love it.

FortMyersBride · September 2011

I work in a mostly male field. When I had to arrange someone to take over my patient for a pump break I would have to directly say to them "I need 10-15 min to go pump". If I just said I someone to get me a break at some point in generally never came. Yes, it often makes them act fidgety and uncomfortable to be told so bluntly, but they're much less likely to forget that way.

JessandIgli · September 2011

I just tell them. A few times someone has come to my locked office door and I've yelled out, "Give me 5 minutes." Then when I see them I just tell them the reason, yeah they get awkward about it but I'd rather them know the truth then wonder what the heck I'm doing in there.

mittensonkittens · September 2011

I'm an engineer working with mostly men as well, and I've found that they have been really understanding. I don't talk about it if I don't have to, but if something like this comes up, then I tell them. Even the single guys without kids have been cool with it. A few weeks ago I was on a business trip to a remote test site with 2 men, and we shared a rental car. At the beginning I told them I'd need to disappear every few hours to pump, and after that they didn't question me when I told them I needed a break.

pitterpatter129 · September 2011

Just be prepared for when someone asks, "pump what?" LOL I try to say the word breast as many times in a sentence after that so that we never have to discuss it again. I call it my "closet time" at work now. I just say, "I'm going to the closet."

st.augbride · September 2011

Using the words pump and breastmilk will guarantee that they never ask again!

tosababy · September 2011

I think you'd get a much better reaction if you told them why you needed to step out (at least tell the facilitator of the meeting privately before it begins).

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