With a lot of us moms getting pregnant with #2:

RunningWife · September 2011

I'm starting to feel like I'm one of the only moms of a kid who's over 1, that is neither pregnant with #2 nor attempting to become pregnant; is anyone else in the same boat as me?

DH and I know to never say never, but we're pretty sure we're one and done. We feel very satisfied with Logan, and I honestly feel like my life is content. It's expensive to have kids and while we can certainly afford to feed and clothe another child (or two even), childcare is a big issue. At $1200-$1500/month PER kid, there is NO way that we can afford 2500-3000 bucks a month for daycare. We are also not in a financial position for me to be a SAHM; we need my income. I also kind of like the thought of being able to have the financial freedon when Logan's older to travel with him, offer him any experience he'd like, which is harder the more kids you have.

This is pretty long winded, but I guess I'm just looking for some confirmation that I'm not the only one that's not on the baby train...

mbfirefly98 · September 2011

I agree with you but if we have number 2 we will be uber-excited!

RunningWife · September 2011

mbfirefly98:
I agree with you but if we have number 2 we will be uber-excited!

Oh, for sure! I would be too; a healthy baby is always a blessing. But, I'm currently looking at it from a different perspective, I guess.

If I found out I was pregnant now, I'd be shocked and certainly some changes to our lifestyle and life direction, but you roll with it.

CinemaGoddess · September 2011

I'm never again riding the pregnancy boat.

I am perfectly happy with the WeAreDoneAndStopBuggingMeAboutItMIL Vespa.

RunningWife · September 2011

CinemaGoddess:

I'm never again riding the pregnancy boat.

I am perfectly happy with the WeAreDoneAndStopBuggingMeAboutItMIL Vespa.

Yeah; I can see that. You got the 2for1 deal, which is uber hard all in itself. Sure, you only do the pregnancy thing once, but you're on the hook for 2 of everything else (diapers, food, educations, clothes, etc...) for 2, without even planning for it.

I tip my hat to you, my friend.

aleana18 · September 2011

While we are not one and done, I am not even thinking about trying for baby #2 yet. I think in a year we will talk it over and see when we would like #2 to come along.

Shamlet123 · September 2011

aleana18:
While we are not one and done, I am not even thinking about trying for baby #2 yet. I think in a year we will talk it over and see when we would like #2 to come along.

This. We will discuss seriously starting next year, this time. But every time I see someone who is already preggers with #2, I think to myself. "Oh good god, I am not ready for that yet!"

LittleGus · September 2011

We'll have 1, if not 2 more, but not in the near future. I'm SO not ready. We actually visited our friends newborn in the hospital tonight, and as we were leaving sans newborn I breathed a sigh of relief

Chrissy1019 · September 2011

We are definitely not having another any time soon. We are planning to have more kids, God willing, but I could never handle that right now. Jack still doesn't even sttn! Maybe when he's around 2 or 3 we will revisit the subject but certainly not now.

sillypit · September 2011

We're waiting another year or so.

acesup · September 2011

mine isnt 1 yet - but i am not on the baby train, nor will i be when she turns one. i definitely want at least one more (maybe two if i lose my marbles). i dont want them very close together but i definitely dont want them far apart - DH and i discussed that we will start trying this time next year, if all goes as planned (meaning we both still have jobs and and nothing changes drastically or financially). in january we are going to make some changes to our "spending habits" to make sure that we can afford daycare on another child. and we definitely need to stop spending lol.

i have to say that lately i have been having baby fever - but i know im not REALLY ready.

blondek8 · September 2011

No more kids for us. Thanksverymuch. Twins and done. Sooooo done.

LadyExtravaganza · September 2011

We want more children but not this close in age. I am terrified of another child right now.

And we also hope to adopt (all?) future children. Hopefully in the spring we will begin the adoption process, and if we do pursue international adoption, we'll likely end up with a 6-8ish month old in 2013 (roughly).

MJN9510 · September 2011

One and done for me. Im content with it, but at the same time I would have gladly had more if the circumstances were different.

Yules · September 2011

CinemaGoddess:
I'm never again riding the pregnancy boat.

I am perfectly happy with the WeAreDoneAndStopBuggingMeAboutItMIL Vespa.

That.

[Deleted User] · September 2011

The user and all related content has been deleted.

d&a914 · September 2011

Definitely not trying right now! DH and I always said we wanted 3 kids, but now that we have 2, we are totally content with not having anymore. To be honest, if my BC were to fail right now I would probably have to be committed! Haha! No, not really! But I would definitely need some meds!

acesup · September 2011

LadyExtravaganza:
We want more children but not this close in age. I am terrified of another child right now.
And we also hope to adopt (all?) future children. Hopefully in the spring we will begin the adoption process, and if we do pursue international adoption, we'll likely end up with a 6-8ish month old in 2013 (roughly).

may i ask where you might adopt from? my niece is adopted from Poland so I'm just being nosey. my sister and her husband had to spend about 11 weeks in Poland - they got there when she was about 18-19 months old. it can be such a long and draining (and expensive!) process but so amazingly worth it in the end. GL!

cynnichinny13 · September 2011

I'm not one and done, we are more of a let's see what happens family. Definitely not planning on having another one now or within the next year but I do see at least one more baby in the future.

avy930 · September 2011

I am not pregnant nor am I trying to get pregnant. We definitely want more kids but my husband just got a new job, we'll be moving in the spring, blah blah blah, not the right time. Maybe in a year or so though?

srporter89 · September 2011

I'm on the same boat as you. We got super lucky with DS, and he is a super easy baby. I am very scared that if I have another, I will be cursed. Plus, we can't financially afford another one for a few years, and if we were to have another I woild want them close in age.

maryg6707 · September 2011

I've been thinking the same thing lately even though my DD is only 9 months. DH and I both have great jobs and bring in a decent amount, but the cost of daycare - holy crap! Daycare for DD is already almost the same as our mortgage. I know families just adapt and make the necessary sacrifices, but I just can't wrap my head around it. Needless to say, this will have a serious impact on whether we are one and done.

It also doesn't hurt that DD is pretty much an awesome baby, and we're completely satisfied with having it be the three of us. Only time will tell I suppose.

EllaSmella · September 2011

We are in the exact same situation. We (in theory) would like to have more than one child, but when you consider childcare in our HCOL area, it gets really hard to make it work. I'd say there is a 60% chance we're "one and done" and a 40% chance we'll wait 3-4 years to have #2 in an attempt to reduce the amount of time we'd have two in FT daycare. I am a planner, so this indecision is killing me, but I definitely think this is a topic we should consider carefully for a while!

DreadLoc · September 2011

I want to be pregnant right now, but we're going to hold off TTC until at least 8 months before DH graduates. The earliest would be April '12, but we're willing to hold off longer depending on how we feel at the time.

Soapstone · September 2011

I feel the same way. I am nowhere near ready for number two. I feel like I just had a baby! Maybe in a few years.

blue33 · September 2011

Unless God has other plans, I am one and done also due to health reasons. I have to work also, and daycare is a necessity for us also. At first, DH was listening to others and saying that he wanted 2 children, but now he agrees that our son will be an only child. You are not alone.

jastl32 · September 2011

We are most likely one and done for all the reasons running wife said. Also, I have PCOS and we're not sure we want to do treatments again to get pregnant. I don't get periods on my own even pp, so I need to be on something. We also have a super easy DD and it's hard enough with her! If we have another, we will wait for a while and then we may decide it's too late as dh doesn't want to be too old...he's older than me. Right now, I have no desire to be pregnant again and just want to enjoy this time with the three of us.

shakes · September 2011

We plan on more. I'd love to be pregnant again right now. I have a LOT of weight to lose before #2 (it would be high risk of I got KU now), DH and I need to be in a better place, and I am struggling with my dad being terminally ill and not wanting to be pregnant, or newly post partum when he passes away. I'm in a bit of a strange place with it right now.

TheBuddha · September 2011

I am pregnant with #2 and it was a total oops. DH decided to be independent and do his own thing...and it only takes once. I was hoping to start TTC #2 when Z turned 2. That way we'd have a spring-ish baby and Z would be almost 3.

But after this one I am done. I am exhausted just thinking about #2.

FLchicken · September 2011

I am one and done. Mostly due to finances. Things are do tight right now with daycare and all our other expenses. I was raised a single child. I had plenty of friends that were like siblings to me. I am also older, so unless I were to have a 2nd soon, it's not like I would want to wait to have a 2nd. So yeah, one and done and perfectly happy with that decision. Our baby has been incredibly easy. SO much so, that I bet we are in for some karma come her teen years! hehe

sawyerthedestroyer · September 2011

It's probably not even going to be up for discussion until my Mirena comes out in 2016. I think I want another one, DH thinks he might want another one, but we're not sure. We're pretty content with our little guy and he's been such a good baby we're afraid that #2 would be the devil or something - we couldn't possibly get this lucky twice.

driveshorses · September 2011

I'm not even in the same country as the baby train. I have no interest in having another baby. I have my tubes tied, also.

kayetbug · September 2011

DH and I talk about all the time how we want another one now. However right now im staying home with our son. Im in the process of opening a daycare so I think once I get settled into that we will be more confortable with the idea of ttc.

MrsDe2008 · September 2011

I couldn't have written this better myself...it's exactly how I feel.

BUT, I've been having thoughts about another one lately. Embarrassed I always said one and done, for most of the same reasons you've posted (the expense, I can do more for her, than if we had more etc.)...then I think it would also be nice for her to have a sibling to play with and grow up with. Believe me, I'm not dumb, I know all siblings don't get along all of the time, but it is still nice to have someone there for you when your parents are gone. I guess there are lots of pro's and cons of having 1 vs. having more. Only time will tell. =/

Kitiara5512 · September 2011

Kinda. Unless our financial situation improves to where I can stay home (like DH's salary doubles) we are one and done. We dont even use a daycare, just a family friend who takes him for about 5 hours a day until my mom gets him for the afternoon, so its not the baby expenses, but that I already miss him and regret not spending as much time with him as I could, and dont want to go that route again with another.

yaeger16 · September 2011

My LO isn't 1 yet, but I am NOT ready to have another one yet. Sometime next year we plan on trying if all is well finacially. E doesn't even STTN yet, so I really want him to be STTN before I bring a newborn into the world.

LadyExtravaganza · September 2011

piglet6609:
LadyExtravaganza:
We want more children but not this close in age. I am terrified of another child right now.
And we also hope to adopt (all?) future children. Hopefully in the spring we will begin the adoption process, and if we do pursue international adoption, we'll likely end up with a 6-8ish month old in 2013 (roughly).
may i ask where you might adopt from? my niece is adopted from Poland so I'm just being nosey. my sister and her husband had to spend about 11 weeks in Poland - they got there when she was about 18-19 months old. it can be such a long and draining (and expensive!) process but so amazingly worth it in the end. GL!

We have been researching countries, and we would like to adopt as young as possible. Also, some countries require the parents be over 30 (DH will be, I will not), and other requirements. It looks like we will probably end up in Africa.

Ethiopia has a lot of international adoptions, but they're currently revamping their process so I don't know if that will even be an option next year. A local agency that we're interested in is launching a pilot program in the Congo, so that may be an option.

DH's company offers $10k reimbursement in adoption costs, and there are actually a couple of tax incentives right now (federal and in my state). We really hope we'll be able to swing it.

SparkleTart · September 2011

DH is the middle child and 2 years apart from his sister and brother, so he would like to have our children be two years apart. That would put us on track to TTC after the first of the year, probably. We currently are not preventing, though. We were having a PG scare until I got AF yesterday

I was 50% disappointed and 50% relieved. I'm also in the party of I have a great, chill, easy baby and am concerned #2 would be the debil.

abs05 · September 2011

I can't even think about having another one right now. Due to my age and DH's, we would have to start trying for number 2 by the end of the year. We are almost there and neither of us can even contemplate the idea of having another so we are mostly likely one and done.

If I had had an easier baby, then we probably would have been trying already. However, our baby was not easy. Reflux, MSPI, colic for nearly 5 months, and a baby that is a very slow teether has left us pretty mentally drained.

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