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Reassurance for the way I'm feeling (kinda long)

ne14pezne14pez member
in Pregnant after IF
I don't normally post on this board, and have been lackluster in my postings on other boards as of late. I think it is because of the way I am feeling, or lack of feeling a certain way I guess. We got pregnant through our 2nd IUI, and I am ecstatic about being pregnant. But it hasn't hit me just yet, I am 16 weeks tomorrow. I am planning for the baby and buying things, and fixing house issues, and I just don't feel like I am in the proper way excited for this baby. I feel like I am just going through the motions and waiting for the other shoe to drop. I knew since I was 18 that getting pregnant would take a little more for me, I guess I thought it would take more than 2 IUIs and now I feel so completely blessed that I am not ready for that emotion. I am still stuck in IF land wondering when this will all make sense or seem real to me. I know the reality is I am pregnant, I look pregnant, I am buying maternity clothes, I have heard the heart beat, We have seen the baby at 8 weeks. I guess the best to describe this feeling is "apprehensive". I'm apprehensive about everything, even my emotions. Its like I am just not willing to let myself get too excited yet. Is this normal? I talked to DH about it today and he has a hard time understanding because he is super stoked and gets bothered that he can't help me get to the same place he is yet. I'm just so hoping I am not the only one, and that this is common for previous IF patients. Any advice or reassurance you can give is greatly appreciated. I feel like a bad mommy already. :(

DX PCOS in 2000 TTC since April 2010 DX Hypothyroidism 6/2010 Referred to RE 9/2010.

BFP in June 2011, DD born in 2012

Joined the baby train again 8/2013. First month, out due to re-diganosis of Hashimotos.

Sept 2013, 2.5 letrozole and trigger, low progestrone and using supplements = BFN.

Oct 2013 2.5 Letrozole, trigger, and IUI = low progestrone (8.9, using supplements) and BFP 11/6 Beta 26.9, Beta 2 @ 30, Beta 3 @ 25.3, Beta 4 @ 25.2 CP 5w1d

Nov 2013: ? waiting on AF

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Re: Reassurance for the way I'm feeling (kinda long)

  • FabulousMrs.PFabulousMrs.P member
    What your feeling is normal. I kept waiting for bad news for quite awhile. It was like I was afraid I would jinx myself by being too excited about everything. It became more real when I started feeling the baby move. And now, I don't find myself worrying as much. I think I just needed the daily reassurance that things are okay.
    After 2 years of TTC, our daughter was born on Oct 31, 2011!
    7lbs 13oz  20 inches long
    image
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  • lauraloplauralop member
    Don't worry sweetie, it is completely normal and you will get there in your own time.  Even if you don't completely let go of that IF cynicism until the day your baby is born, it will happen.  I think it is harder for us to do that blissful pregnancy thing after all we've been through.  I actually made a concerted effort to be very zen and excited about my pregnancy and not worry about anything in the beginning, only to then have an SCH at 8 weeks that made me completely paranoid again.  I like to think that I am finally in that blissful state again, but who knows?  No matter how long it takes you, I promise you will get there and you will be an amazing mom.
    A Little Barefoot Blog Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • SunMoon&StarsSunMoon&Stars member
    I had the "too good to be true" feeling for a LONG time. It honestly didn't feel completely real to me until I was in labor!
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  • ne14pezne14pez member
    Thank you for all the thoughtful words. I feel better after hearing them and talking it out with DH. Hopefully those feelings start to fade more once I start feeling the baby moving, I know for sure they will fade once I hold our LO in my arms, although I am sure I will be in disbelief still that this is our LO we are holding this time and not someone else's. 

    DX PCOS in 2000 TTC since April 2010 DX Hypothyroidism 6/2010 Referred to RE 9/2010.

    BFP in June 2011, DD born in 2012

    Joined the baby train again 8/2013. First month, out due to re-diganosis of Hashimotos.

    Sept 2013, 2.5 letrozole and trigger, low progestrone and using supplements = BFN.

    Oct 2013 2.5 Letrozole, trigger, and IUI = low progestrone (8.9, using supplements) and BFP 11/6 Beta 26.9, Beta 2 @ 30, Beta 3 @ 25.3, Beta 4 @ 25.2 CP 5w1d

    Nov 2013: ? waiting on AF

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