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So mad right now (vent)

MallyPieMallyPie
in 2nd Trimester

I know I'm being hormonal and probably ridiculous, but I'm just really upset right and and can't stop bawling.  DH is a bar manager in our hometown.  Well tonight he had to work in a different restaurant about 45 minutes from our house.  I've been home alone by myself all night (which I am most nights and am NOT looking forward to with a baby soon to be here, but I knew this before we decided to start trying).  Anyway, he called me on his way home and things were fine. He said he would be home soon a talk to me then.  Well, about 15 minutes later, I get a text saying "Hey, I'm stopping by Abbotts (a bar) to see Corey for a second."  I'm sorry, but that is NOT how our marriage works.  We call each other and usually say "if you don't mind, I'd like to blah blah blah.  Instead of "telling" each other what were doing.  I just think its more respectful and it usually works for us.  He is a really awesome guy and it's not like he even drinks (never in his whole life) so I'm not worried, just really lonely and expected him to be home.  He was only judging a competition at the other store and not actually working a full management shift, so I thought we would be together tonight, at least from like 10:30 on.

I know I'm probably just btching for no reason, but my feelings are really hurt.

Thanks for listening ladies.

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Re: So mad right now (vent)

  • Snorkel30Snorkel30

    Don't take this too hard, and I'm not trying to be mean here, but you gotta get a hobby or something. You can't sit around and just wait for your husband to come home. Men don't like being smothered, and it comes off like he has no freedom to do anything unless he asks your permission first. If he's a great guy, which it sounds like you think he is, you need to give him some slack and not be so hard on him. He shouldn't have to get permission to go see a friend.

    I know it's hard because you're pregnant, but if you keep smothering him that way, it'll just push him further away. 

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  • indiana101indiana101 member

    Agreed, he shouldn't have to get permission to see a friend.

    I'm sure you're just having an off day and feeling particularly clingy - thats been me for the last week.

    Snuggle up to him when he gets home and tell him you've missed him and you'll probably be feel alot better.

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  • hillbillysunshinehillbillysunshine
    imageSnorkel30:

    Don't take this too hard, and I'm not trying to be mean here, but you gotta get a hobby or something. You can't sit around and just wait for your husband to come home. Men don't like being smothered, and it comes off like he has no freedom to do anything unless he asks your permission first. If he's a great guy, which it sounds like you think he is, you need to give him some slack and not be so hard on him. He shouldn't have to get permission to go see a friend.

    I know it's hard because you're pregnant, but if you keep smothering him that way, it'll just push him further away. 

    This.  I thought you were going to say he did something inappropriate with a girl or stayed out all night with no call...but he just stopped to see a friend...and he let you know he was stopping?? Hmm

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  • 526SadieSadie526SadieSadie member

    If he didn't call and let you know he was going to be late, I'd be on your side.  That's completely inconsiderate, especially if he was gone for several hours.  But, he called. 

    If you started a fight with him or were crying your eyes out when he got home, you should probably apologize.  Hormones are crazy right now and I admit I've definitely overreacted about some things, but at least you have a guy who calls when he'll be late.

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  • msBlackandGoldmsBlackandGold member

    OK, I'm going against the grain with this. I understand why you're upset. I do the same thing with my H. If we're going to stop, we do call and "ask." I put the quotes around ask becuase normally it's OK, so it's really moreso "informing" than "asking." I would be upset to if DH sent me a text saying he was stopping somewhere. Actually we've had that conversation, to where he will need to make sure to call and have the conversation, especially after we have the baby.

    Now, I wouldn't start a fight over it, but I would have a very calm conversation.

    SN: DH and I ask to have people over our house before inviting people over. My own cousin doesn't come over unless I have gotten approval from DH first. It's not like we ever say no to each other, it's just more considerate than saying "BTW so and so is coming over." Or coming home to company.

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  • MallyPieMallyPie
    I know I was being ridiculous. My best friend was like GIRL, your nuts.  Stupid pregnancy hormones. :-) Everything is all better, we just had a calm, civil conversation when he got home.
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