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mdotm0904
member
Completely overwhelmed
mdotm0904
member
I knew becoming a mom was going to be an adjustment but I had no idea how much so. I am completely overwhelmed. Making bottles, changing diapers. Wondering what this cry means & what that cry means. Trying to figure out if she's eating enough, if I'm holding her too much, and why I don't feel this overwhelming joy that I hear people speak of after bringing baby home. I'm healing from my c-section pretty well but it's still tough to do some things. I live with my mom & she has been amazing. Last night I had a headache & she offered to take the baby to her room so that I could get a good night's sleep. So I'm not sure why I'm so overwhelmed taking care of her when I have plenty of help.
To top it off, BD filed custody & paternity papers against me, on the same day that he sent an email saying he didn't think he was the true father & wanted nothing to do with her (mind games much?) I don't mind him being a part of her life, I just don't want 50:50 physical custody (don't mind sharing legal custody, I just want my house to be her main residence, selfishly, I mean who wants to spend a week away from their kids at a time?) so I'm kind of stressed about that even though everyone is telling me not to be. I havent been served yet, I saw it on our state judicial website (not sure what made me even check my name, perhaps I was subconsciously expecting this).
Anyway those are my quick updates. off to do what I do best these days....cry in the dark 
....I need a hug =
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Completely overwhelmed
I have never, ever heard of a judge granting 50/50 custody of a newborn. Ever.
Take some deep breaths, scream into a pillow and have yourself a good cry. You have a lot going on and it's ok to feel overwhelmed. You'll get through this!
I remember feeling exactly like this, only I had no family to help. I was trapped in my house with a NB alone for days at a time. I cried alot - every day actually. But it helped me feel better to release that stress, frustration, whatever, through doing so.
A judge will not grant 50/50 to a NB 99.9% of the time. He's all talk - just keep telling yourself that!
It will get better - I PROMISE!!
It is completely okay and totally normal to feel this way. Your hormones have something to do with it. Having a baby is completely overwhelming, no matter how much help you have. I did a lot of crying in the dark too...every night for months. But it WILL get better and you ARE doing great.
Don't expect to be able to do anything more than learn how to care for her. Give yourself time, this will all be a lot easier in a couple months. You're experiencing the really hard part right now. I really feel for you, I just wish I could give you a hug and some help. Hang in there.
Don't worry about the 50/50 thing right now. That's not even an option, and wont be for many years. Get a lawyer. Remember to take it ALL as it comes, worrying about what he'll do or say next will not help you in the long run. We're here for you.
I remember getting a sick feeling in my stomach everytime somone said "I bet you can't even remember what life was like without her." I felt so guilty because I very vividly remembered life before her and I missed it A LOT! It does get better, and now 3 years later I finally feel like I *might* have a handle on this motherhood thing.
Don't be too hard on yourself. This is a very hard adjustment but it really will get better. Good Luck!
Lots of hugs and well wishes to you. I've seen almost all first time parents getting overwhelmed by a newborn, so don't be so hard on yourself especially you're doing it mostly alone and you have so many other things going on with the dad as well.
**hugs again**
Sending big hugs your way! I remember those days well. My mom stayed with me for the first week after DS was born but after that I was on my own until I decided to move back home. Just breathe and try to remember that not only are you new to being a mom, DD is new to being out of your womb
You WILL get a handle on things and slowly form a routine. Take it easy on yourself for right now because, as you said, it's only been two weeks! If you need to put DD down for 10 minutes because you are overwhelmed-do it. I can't tell you how much this helps.
Hang in there momma, things will be alright!