Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Well, now that I'm pg again, I'm considering attempting a VBAC. But I keep thinking about how hard it might be to recover from a vaginal birth if I have tearing.
Re: Anybody with successful VBAC wish they would've done RCS?
Wow, that's crazy that that happened to you in the first place! Were you induced/had an epidural? That does sound rough and I bet it messes with you mentally since it was also an error on their part.
I can't speak personally b/c my VBAC even with tearing and some granulation tissue issues afterwards was still so much better than my c/s both physically and mentally. However, I do know that one of my chiropractor's current clients just had a VBAC and had some major issues with delivery. Of course I'm not sure how she feels about her decision to do the VBAC.
I think planning a RCS would definitely have been less stressful for me while I was pregnant. I would have know what was going to happen and when instead of wondering if I would go into labor, if I would go postdates, if the VBAC would work out, etc. I do think that is a downside to VBAC, as well as the chance that you may end up with a c/s anyway.
I hope you meet your baby soon. I went pastdue with my first and it's rough. Hang in there!
For me, I tore and my recovery was still much easier. They don't stop you from picking up your toddler, etc. So, clearly I did not regret it. My SIL had a terrible vaginal delivery with a tough recovery and they have suggested a c/s for her next time as a result. I'd say that is generally the exception and not the rule.
Dx with endo & blocked left tube - TTC #1 for 29 cycles before miracle BFP, #2 - Surprise!!
My TTC/PG blog / Panda Phenomenon Explained
no! 2nd degree tear, no idea about # stitches. My c/s recovery wasn't horrible but vbac recovery was 1000x easier and better.
pushing + c/s is supposed to be the worst type recovery (within the normal realm, no major medical issues). you,ve already done that, so you know the worst it'd likely be.
I would NEVER NEVER schedule a RCS over a Vbac- As c-sections go my recovery was easy but my recovery from my vbac was a MILLION times easier and better.
I am pg again and planning (and hoping) for another natural vaginal delivery!
I understand the that there are a lot more unknowns (waiting for labor, not knowing if you'll be successful, if your Dr's will REALY be supportive, etc...) but in the end all of the "unknowns" were totally worth it.
I would have a VBAC again in a heartbeat! I took it a step further and had an HBAC (home birth after cesarean) because my daughter's c-section was so unnecessary and I knew I could do it. I didn't want to allow anyone to convince us that it was necessary again. Healing from my c-section wasn't awful, but it was definitely harder than the VBAC. After giving birth to my son, I was up and around very quickly and even cooked that day (because I wanted to, not because I had to).
Do the VBAC if you can...it's worth the wait!!!
My VBAC recovery (1st degree tears with stitches) was so, so, SO much easier than my c/s recovery. An hour after giving birth, I was walking around, bending over, carrying my baby, the works. I was a bit sore for a few days and I was a bit slow to move around, but that was it. I felt amazing.
That said, even though I don't at all WISH I had had an RCS, I don't believe for one second that I'd be regretting it if I had. A planned c/s recovery is almost certain to be easier than one after three days of unmedicated back labor. I know many women on this board were resolved to VBAC from the start, but for me, it was not an easy decision to come to. In retrospect, I don't think there really was a wrong answer. Either way, I'd probably have had a better experience and I'd have a healthy baby in my arms at the end.
I had a 2nd degree tear with my VBAC and my recovery was still 100x easier than my c/s.
To answer your question, absolutely not