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Frustration with grandma babysitters (long)
I really try so very hard to not be frustrated with our moms as they provide childcare on the days that I work. However, some of the negatives are really showing their ugly head. Particularly with my mom.
We've been kind of anti strict schedule from the get go, but have always tried to keep some guidelines. For the last few months, it's been nap around 10ish (give or take 45 minutes), nap around 2 or 3, bath at 7:30...etc. I find out sometimes like the next day that my mom ran all over creation with DS and, "well, he didn't get a very good nap today. Like 30 minutes total in the car." Seriously mom? You keep him one to two days a week. Must you run all your errands on that day?
Today she was going to help me prep stuff for our yardsale this weekend. Well then she has some other errands to run and has to pick up my niece by 4 (brings up two totally separate issues: my sister, and my mom's inability to plan accordingly). I tell her it's been a rough morning getting DS down for a nap, like really rough. He had been rubbing his eyes since he was eating breakfast and was almost down an hour later when the dog barked like a lunatic and that was it. She texts me, "They do outgrow 2 naps, you know." (Speaking of Kastle's post...) Yes, mother. I do know that. But my child was obviously tired and in need of a nap. Thank you for assessing my child from afar when you let him nap while you're driving to a million errands.
Ok, pity party vent over. I think. (I could go on about all the other quirky things going on lately and how I'm trying to not also worry about her) Besides, DS is now awake...
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Re: Frustration with grandma babysitters (long)
Yeah, we've been there. In our case, it is usually because of their complete obliviousness, not an attempt to undermine us or anything. Spelling out our reasoning for doing something usually helps. And I always ask myself, "If this were a daycare, would I leave it if this continued?".
That being said, I feel really lucky that C has this time with his grandparents. Honestly, their bond is incredible.
Not sure if you would like this option or not - but right now I am letting Ben finish a nap he started in the car seat while I hang out on the front porch.
You need to be a little organized to do this. When we go out I take food, drinks, etc. for Ben and for me. I also have my laptop. So when I come home, I can plug into the outlet on the front porch, have my lunch, let Ben finish napping and never have to leave him unattended.
Granted - this only works in good weather. But it may help her transition to being a bit more schedule oriented.
oh we have had many many car naps, in good weather, they are awesome. But I do think your Mom needs to schedule her errands a little better. She's either watching your DS or doing her own stuff, you can't do both well.
Thanks everyone for your replies and advice. To answer MrsPhil's hypothetical question, I would continue...with the caveat that we are already looking for a babysitter to hire to help fill in. Our moms have pretty much been our sole child care providers (work, date nights, etc...with the exception of some friends or aunts filling in) and the bond is wonderful and I certainly want to protect that.
The crazy thing is, even though she's been frustrating the heck out of me lately, I am quite worried about her. Stress related to my sister moving back in with her daughter and other things really seems to be taking its toll on her. But she does forget a lot of things and gets confused. I really think it is related to all the stress and pressure she is under, not like dementia or anything. But I know my mom worries about it being that since my grandma had Alzheimers.
Oh my, that's more information than anyone bargained for in a reply, isn't it? I just needed to vent it out so I don't get upset with her and not sure my DH would be extremely helpful with this right now....thanks gals.
ETA that I don't think my mom is unfit to watch our son. It's mainly in conversation she gets confused, like when we are making plans. She is also kind of highstrung...