How are you handling family before you are ready to tell?

HotChocolate79 · September 2011

We are adamant about not telling anyone until the ultrasound which will not happen until 7 weeks (how I feel about it and why on earth they can't do it ealier is a whole other story). In the meanwhile, I have at least 4 parties, including one on a boat, with my family to attend until then - and I've always been the adventurous eater and a big drinker. Sushi, rare meat, oysters, etc. - which is obviously all out and I can barely eat at all, let alone funky things. If it was friends, I am pretty sure they wouldn't care/notice, but I know my parents and my brother definitely will. They know we struggle with IF but after the last busted cycle when they were totally unsupportive, DH and I decided to stop the oversharing, so fam doesn't even know we cycled, let alone that it seems to have worked.

Any ideas on how to handle this one?

JennPierog · September 2011

Some people do the whole fake drink water in the beer bottle thing but thats not my style. I would just try to fly under the radar till someone says something and then just say "well I'm cuting calories so no drinks for two weeks" or "I'm staying away from sushi for awhile due to getting sick last week". Just make something up not to detailed and hopeful no one will say anymore. Good Luck

halo_tx · September 2011

Maybe fake an illness? You could say you're not drinking due to being on antibiotics then explain your eating by saying you're not feeling well. GL keeping it secret!

babystinkbreath · September 2011

halo_tx:
Maybe fake an illness? You could say you're not drinking due to being on antibiotics then explain your eating by saying you're not feeling well. GL keeping it secret!

this was always my go to excuse anytime i was cycling, etc. people don't usually question it too much. or just say you were sick this week and still not feeling great. the less you say about it the better, don't go into detail.

HotChocolate79 · September 2011

babystinkbreath:

halo_tx:
Maybe fake an illness? You could say you're not drinking due to being on antibiotics then explain your eating by saying you're not feeling well. GL keeping it secret!

this was always my go to excuse anytime i was cycling, etc. people don't usually question it too much. or just say you were sick this week and still not feeling great. the less you say about it the better, don't go into detail.

I would love to not saying anything about it and if it was friends, I wouldn't even worry - they'd all be too worried about themselves to care about what's on my plate or in my glass. But, this is my parents.... they are as over-involved as it gets and I know if I say I am sick, my mom will instantly turn into mother hen and start hovering over me with potions and meds for upset stomatch. I better just not go... but one of these happens to be my mom's birthday and the boat ride was very $$$ and they already paid for it....

99luftballoons · September 2011

Obviously you have your reasons, but I'm wondering- if God forbid something happened and you miscarried, would you not tell your family? I'm only asking because there were close friends that we didn't tell right away the first time around and when I miscarried, I of course told them anyway. So when I thought about it, I realized it didn't make sense to wait to tell the people who I would tell if something awful happened anyway. If they are close enough to share your heartache, they are close enough to share your good news, however hesitant we all are. Of course, that did not extend to everyone, only the people who are close enough to know if the worst happened. Just a thought- obviously everyone has to make their own decisions. Also- reactions to failed cycles and reactions to my miscarriage were vastly different.

For weddings, I have MH bring me seltzer with a splash of cranberry, which looks like a mixed drink (or just seltzer with a lime, since I usually drink vodka soda anyway). When everyone did a shot, I discreetly asked the bartender to give me a shot of water (which he did) and covered it so no one noticed that it was a different color. OR my husband would order me a glass of wine and quietly drink out of his and mine

KYRN · September 2011

I was called out 4 or 5 times for not drinking in a situation where I normally would have in the first 2 weeks when no one really knew. I would plan to fake drink. As far as the food I think that will be less noticeable that not drinking.

Good luck, and congrats!

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