How much do you tell your boss about treatments?

samsooni · September 2011

Hi -

I have to ask for time off for my HSG, and I'm nervous. For those of you working full time, how much do you tell your boss about appointments/procedures? Does your boss know you're TTC?

My situation - I've only been at my current job for less than 6 months, so I'm nervous about asking for time off for appointments, even if it's just a few hours here and there. Also, I don't want my boss to know WHY I might need frequent doctor's appointments....I mean, they just hired me and I'm already a potential 3-month vacancy?

My boss is female, my age and has young children of her own, so I don't think she's unreasonable.....plus, I work for a hospital system. But still, I'm nervous about pushing things too much since I'm still under 6-months at this new job.

Has anyone else encountered this? What have you done?

Thank you

happywifemomofone · September 2011

About a year ago, I was struggling with some of the same challenges. My boss is in her 50s and a Mom of 2 teenage children. She was new to our department, and I really had no idea how to approach the subject. My son is an older teenager, so I though she'd think I was absolutely crazy for wanting to start with a baby again. Well-she didn't turn into the big bad wolf when I told her the truth. She was actually excited about the possibilities. Turns out that she had a friend who had twins with IVF, so she understood a little bit. I didn't share with my boss until we had a treatment plan in place and knew that we would be moving forward with IVF. As a matter of fact, I think I called in sick for HSG (and I almost never call in sick). Find a clinic that at least has somewhere that you can go for monitoring near your work. I use a RE at a different branch, but I can monitor 15 minutes from my work. I am in and out in 15 minutes and total time away is usually an hour or less. They open for monitoring at 7am-and my shift starts at 7:30am-so sometimes I just come in a few minutes late (usually there by 7:45am). I just found a branch of my clinic that opens a 1/2 hour earlier, so this cycle I willl be trying to see if I can make it to work by 7:30am-unfortunately, it's a bit further away. My boss didn't even start asking about a maternity leave until I was on my second IVF cylce- (she says it hadn't even occurred to her). I have 2 big challenges-one is communicating with my boss, because she spends alot of time in meetings. The second is that my coworkers do not know. Because I work in nursing, this has been challenging-as they are the people that have to cover for me when I'm not there. My boss knows that this is private information and encourages me to keep it that way-but sometimes I think it would be so much easier if others understood. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, these are my experiences.

Country Girl in the City · September 2011

With my current boss, I tell her nothing other than I am going in for medical tests and I will be late. But I really don't care for my current boss.

With my old boss, I told her everything because we were really close. We are still friends even after she moved on to another job. I knew that she would not retaliate against me. With my current boss I don't have that confidence.

brooklynesque · September 2011

Personally, if I were you I'd say I have a medical procedure scheduled and leave it at that. If the boss asks you what it is, know that she's already being rude(!), but at that point you can tell her it's gynecology-related and THEN hopefully she won't press for details. (Too bad you don't have a male boss -- citing woman troubles always stops them from questioning further, LOL.) I personally would not let a boss know I was TTC unless there was some reason I really had to, or unless I was exceptionally close with him/her. Even in the latter case, it's probably TMI for most workplaces.

Just a note, however -- not sure how much time you're requesting but not everyone needs much time to recover from an HSG. I was able to go straight to work afterwards; you might play it by ear and see how you're feeling and not assume you need to take an entire day off.

Reilly626 · September 2011

I did because on the days of the IUI I had to be about 20 minutes late. BUT several other teachers have gone through this and we all cover for each other. My monitoring starts at 5:45 am so I can get there and to work with no problem, but the procedure day took longer. I asked to leave early for the HSG test. I would recommend you do that and not do it early and think you can get to work, its painful and uncomfortable. GL to you.

Bubs711 · September 2011

I was vague at first, but now that we're going to be having more dr's appointments as we approach IUI I revealed a bit more. I just said that we'd been trying for a year to get pg and that now we were turning to medical intervention to help. They were very good about it.

I agree with a PP, though, that you might not need a full day off for your HSG. I was crampy afterward, and I did stay home as I had taken a personal day that I was going to lose otherwise, but I COULD have gone back to work if I'd had to.

tfkre8ive · September 2011

My boss is super cool. He knows we've been struggling, mainly because I've needed unplanned time off for two miscarriages. Now I don't tell him specifics, just that I have an appt. and may be late. It's never been a problem, but I do try to make appts before work or during lunch, and my job is non-essential, so I have some flex time options.

For my HSG, I went into work afterward and actually had a 2-hour walking tour that day. Other than mild cramping, it was fine.

Good luck!

Country Girl in the City · September 2011

DH is telling his boss today. I am a little nervous. I socialize in the same circles as his boss so I hope that she doesn't tell any of my friends. We have some of the same friends and those people are friends with my bosses boss. Since I am not telling my boss, I hope that it doesn't get back to my workplace. If it does, I can deal with it but I would prefer to keep this private in my workplace.

I am also wondering if his boss is going to call me or email me about it.

wcrowdy11 · September 2011

I would tell my boss that i have a doctor's appointment. And when you need to take longer, i would still tell her that you had a medical appontment. i informed my boss of my fibroid surgery, but when i ended up staying out longer than the 2 week recovery time, she started asking questions of my co-workers. So now that we are ttc and i have monthly appointments, i just schedule the appointments at the first available time, and i bring notes to back up my appointments. On my notes, they say "Reproductive Medicine" on the header- but in your case, if your doctor can just write on something that just says "The Office Of...", that you were seen on that day and time, that should be enough.

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