OMG! Ex reported that my husband tried to kill her to CPS!!!!

ct7878 · September 2011

I am in state of shock right now and do not even know where to begin. My husband just got a call for CPS that they need to interview him and myself as his ex filed a claim that he threatened to kill her!!!! Appararently, they have interviewed the children (who she stated were witnesses) and the CPS representive shared with my husband that both kids (7 and 12) stated that nothing happened and that the case will be most likely thrown out and this interview is a formality, but I am total freaking out! She has done some crazy things before, but this is over the top!!!

Now in all honestly, my husband and his ex did have an altercation last week during drop off, but nothing to this extent. He never even got out of the car!!! SS got new glasses so he was writing her a check for half the amount and asked if we could have some additional time (a teacher work day) with boys in October and my the boys to NY for Fall. We are visiting my family, so she started in about me and how I will never truly be the childrens "stepmother" and then I think things escalated with some name calling on both sides. Mind you, this is all in a Target parking lot...full open public space! My husband gave her the check drove off and that was it. All last week, she would only allow my husband to speak with the children on speaker phone. This weekend, (we have boys every Fri-Sun), everything was fine. Now he gets this call...

Does any one have any advice CPS is saying that this is no big deal and just a formality, but we do have to meet with them within 24 hours. Do you think we should get an attornery...if there is even time? There has been a lot of crazy things going on lately and we have been thinking about going back to court for over a year, but did not want to put the kids through it. Well, now they have already been dragged in by CPS!!! I can not believe that she did this...This is really insane and never in my life would I imagine that we have be being interviewed by CPS!!!!

Has anyone ever been in this situation...any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.

karatechrissy · September 2011

CPS told us that unless someone ends up in the hospital or dead, they do nothing. we have a case against BM's husband right now for beating my SS, threatening to kill himself in front of SS on multiple occasions (and SS has confirmed this with the caseworker), has taken SS (5) on motorcycle rides with no helmet, punches holes in their walls at their hom (all of this has been confirmed by SS, and other family members). Nothing has been done. The caseworker literally told my hsuband a couple weeks ago that they won't do anything unless SS ends up in the hospital. My faith in CPS is pretty much nothing. I wouldn't worry if I were you. Just view it as an inconvenience and do the intervew and just stay calm and collected.

bebe11 · September 2011

I wouldn't worry too much about it. I know for me personally, if someone tried to kill me, I would of called 911, not CPS!

J&A2008 · September 2011

Same thing that is said over and over on this board: Document, document, document!

This kind of crap will only make her look bad in the end. Keep records of everything, including that she dragged the kids into this as witnesses. Glad CPS realizes she's full of b.s. If you end up back in court over custody/visitation, her craziness may help you get what you want.

ballmom · September 2011

J&A2008:
Same thing that is said over and over on this board: Document, document, document!

This kind of crap will only make her look bad in the end. Keep records of everything, including that she dragged the kids into this as witnesses. Glad CPS realizes she's full of b.s. If you end up back in court over custody/visitation, her craziness may help you get what you want.

And above all tell the CPS worker you want a full copy of the report! Seeing as DH (as well as his kids) are named in the claim he is legally eligible for it.

mcltwin2 · September 2011

BM reported SO to CPS last year after he ended up in the hospital (long story) saying that he was unstable and not fit to be a parent. They interviewed the kids, grandparents, SOs siblings, the whole 9 yards. In the end the case was dropped and all turned out fine. I know it's so scary and you won't really stop worrying until they send you a formal statement that your DH has been cleared, but try not to worry too much. It really will all be fine!

Ilumine · September 2011

Get a lawyer and look at you options. If she is going to play hardball, then you not only need to be as prepared defensively, you can shake the guilt for being proactive?

I would also suggest video recording every interaction from now on. Though you cannot use the sound, that is the standard laws regarding taping without permission from both parties, you can at least show the body language and lack of verbal response by DH when pushed. At the very least, bring a third party, non family member to each exchange to be a chaperone.

Definitely get a copy of the CPS report. I would get the FULL report, not just the final summary. That's to ensure that CPS covered all of the bases and didn't miss anythig OR not follow through with anything that was brought up in the investigation.

Have your DH pull himself back and be a grown-up. BM had an opening because your DH gave her one...in public. Saying, "yeah, I called her names but I didn't threaten to kill her" is less innocent then, "I never raised my voice and did not said a negative word, let alone threatened her".

Start a notebook where you document every interaction with BM. Copy every email exchange (keep an electronic copy too).

Make all conversations via email. If there is a verbal conversation, email a follow-up summarizing everything.

DO NOT engage unless directly related to the children.

SteveandKris · September 2011

I'd get a lawyer.

But its my experience that nothing will happen. H has a recording of BM threatening to kill him and run with SS if he even tried to sue her for more custody. Nothing happened and she still has primary physical custody.

BM's BF assaulted DH and he lives with them and NOTHING happened.

But I'd still get a lawyer.

ct7878 · September 2011

Thansk Everyone for the support! We met with CPS on Friday and all went well. They are actually filling a counter claim against her for medical neglectbased incident that happened with our SS the prior weekend (so happy I had pictures!!) CPS actually advised to get an attorney and take her back to court given her actions and unwillingness to co-parents. The stated that based on what they had seen from us, as well as what they had heard from the children, all indications were that the case would be closed within the next 14 days.

Now...I do have a quick question. Does anyone know how to go about finding a good attorney. We do not have any friends who have really been through this sort of situation that I could reach out to for referrals. I hate to just make such an important decision without getting a reference and simply googling for a Family Law Attorney. We are in Central Florida. Thanks so much!

Want a personalized experience?

OMG! Ex reported that my husband tried to kill her to CPS!!!!

Re: OMG! Ex reported that my husband tried to kill her to CPS!!!!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards