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this bothers me

jrsmama2010jrsmama2010 member
in Washington Babies

I had posted this on the Sept 2010 moms board, but it went into kind of a rant and it still kind of bothers me and I don't know why.

Am I being stupid?  My mom is 46 yrs old and DS is her first grandson.  Her and my stepdad=(SD) whom I do not get along with at all and my younger brother whose 16 live in OK right now.   Well my mom told me they are always having money issues and everything so they won't be able to make it to DS's birthday party.  Well last week she decided to go out and buy an expensive camera, but it was ok bc they have 18 months no interest.  So am I in the wrong to be mad bc that money could have been spent on plane tix for them to come here?  
And if that wasn't enough, since DS has started this screaming thing...we were talking about it and since the In-Laws are coming I said, "I wonder what they are going to thing about him"  They haven't seen him since he was 3 weeks old and have 3 other grandchildren older than DS.  Well I got a txt from SD asking if I don't care what they think.  I thought that was kind of childish... or maybe I'm the one being childish.  

Anyways thanks for reading, sorry if its kind of stupid. 

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Re: this bothers me

  • JessieJHJessieJH member

    Wow- are you sure you really want them to come to the birthday party? It sounds like you'd have more fun without that kind of drama.

    I find you just can't explain why people make the decisions they do- money or timewise. My brother was 'broke' to the point where I was about to give him a significant of money to help with bills. Just as we were about to tell him about it he went out and bought two very expensive 'toys' (think thousands of dollars). We quickly changed our minds and learned a lesson to not get involved in their finances.

    I'd take this opportunity to get some space and let them come around to sanity again.

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  • IkesHawaiian06IkesHawaiian06
    I think it's really tough when people spend money on things that we feel like could have been used for other things. I can understand why you're upset, I'd be upset too. I also see where your mom is coming from, I'm sure she's thinking, "Hey, if I can make super small payments, I can get this." It sucks that she's spending more money on a camera instead of putting it towards a plane ticket to come and celebrate her grandsons first birthday. Hugs! I hope that you are able to enjoy the day regardless of what happens with your mom and step-dad.
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  • skenyonskenyon
    UGH! Sorry your dealing with this. I suffer this with my in-laws often.
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  • tobykittytobykitty
    I had some issues w/ my sister that were very similar. I had creditors calling my house looking for her constantly, then I see on Facebook that she had recently purchased a smart phone. Needless to say I went off on her. That turned into I can spend my money on what I want. Thats the thing about people, they can make decisions that sometimes we feel are poor choices. Live and learn, it sometimes takes people a lot longer to realize. It sucks that your mom can't be there for you LO. 
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  • jrsmama2010jrsmama2010 member
    Thanks for hearing me out and understanding.  I am come to the conclusion that I don't want her there.  
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  • ATT&BTTATT&BTT
    I am amazing how families are.  My MIL had money to tour Europe (with her BF) & go to Hawaii twice since DD was born but only came up from Cali once to meet DD. She couldn't get off work or have enough money to come for DD 1st b-day which was at the end of June right after her Europe trip.  She has yet to send anything (just a card would have been sweet) for DD's 1st b-day.  Where my parents are the opposite - they can't get enough of DD, hosted the 1st b-day party so we had room for family to come, & get her things she needs/wants from diapers to her outside climbing toy. Its so weird how some family doesn't seem to think family is important. And when I mean important I don't mean spend money on.  I mean spend time with & show love by saying happy b-day I am glad you were born.   So I feel your pain hon.  Sorry you have to go through this with your mom.  Its hard enough with ILs. :-(
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  • jrsmama2010jrsmama2010 member

    imageATT&BTT:
    I am amazing how families are.  My MIL had money to tour Europe (with her BF) & go to Hawaii twice since DD was born but only came up from Cali once to meet DD. She couldn't get off work or have enough money to come for DD 1st b-day which was at the end of June right after her Europe trip.  She has yet to send anything (just a card would have been sweet) for DD's 1st b-day.  Where my parents are the opposite - they can't get enough of DD, hosted the 1st b-day party so we had room for family to come, & get her things she needs/wants from diapers to her outside climbing toy. Its so weird how some family doesn't seem to think family is important. And when I mean important I don't mean spend money on.  I mean spend time with & show love by saying happy b-day I am glad you were born.   So I feel your pain hon.  Sorry you have to go through this with your mom.  Its hard enough with ILs. :-(

    wow im sorry your MIL is like that.  it sounds like my mom only with SD and casinos.  She wont even download skype

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