working moms, please help

Temp38995750004016 · September 2011

If I want my bonus I have to go back to work for three weeks, even though my bonus pertains to the work I did LAST year. It's unfair, IMO, but I can't do anything about it.

How hard was it to go back? Until today, when I looked at the calendar and noticed I have to go back next week, I thought I'd be able to do it. It's just three weeks. But the thought of only spending an hour a day with LO is breaking my heart. My hours are 8-6 (8 to noon on Fridays). So basically I'd come home and bathe & feed her and put her to bed.

Lisa Frank · September 2011

You just do it. Buck up, Pook.

LOL, sorry, that was mean.

So, yeah. It sucks a lot of days. And it's hard to keep the house in order, and dinner on the table and your sanity. But you just do it. And it's 3 weeks so you have an end in sight. I love my job...absolutely LOVE it, but it's still tough as hell on a regular basis. All around. You can do it, momma!! And you might just enjoy your time away.

Temp38995750004016 · September 2011

I never particularly cared for my job in the first place, I just stayed because I knew we were having a baby in the next couple of years....so that's probably making it worse. I know, I just need to focus and buckle down. It's only fifteen days, not that big in the grand scheme of things.

Temp38995750004016 · September 2011

MrsSparklebottom:
Oh, if only I could only work for 3 weeks!
It's hard to go back to work, but for such a short amount of time, you should be able to swing it. I get home at about 5 and B goes to bed at 7-7:30, so the time I get with him is limited. We snuggle at night though, and I get all weekend with him.
Pumping and using that time at work when I could be prepping for class is the most difficult part, I think.

This is the good thing...we have a pumping room and I seriously see myself slacking off and going to pump a lot.

We have someone to watch her here at the house, so I don't even have to do the extra time to do daycare drop off. I really need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I feel like a big d0uchebag right now for crying about three weeks.

Angel0423 · September 2011

yup. I work 8:30-6ish M-F. Sucks! Meal planning has helped these past few weeks. I can start dinner and play with lo once things are in the oven, or sit her in the bouncy and talk to her in the kitchen. We eat, I give her a bath, she eats, and I (or sometimes DH) rocks her before bed. She seems to be doing just fine with the routine. She's home with my husband all day, which is a big comfort for me.

amatistajoy · September 2011

I wouldn't feel like that Pook. Seriously, it doesn't matter if its three weeks or 30 years... its a big change. I thought the first few weeks weren't too bad ... until the reality of "this will be life" set in. Hopefully those 15 days just fly by.

Temp38995750004016 · September 2011

Angel0423:
yup. I work 8:30-6ish M-F. Sucks! Meal planning has helped these past few weeks. I can start dinner and play with lo once things are in the oven, or sit her in the bouncy and talk to her in the kitchen. We eat, I give her a bath, she eats, and I (or sometimes DH) rocks her before bed. She seems to be doing just fine with the routine. She's home with my husband all day, which is a big comfort for me.

That is really nice! You don't make your DH have dinner on the table for you?

Temp38995750004016 · September 2011

amatistajoy:
I wouldn't feel like that Pook. Seriously, it doesn't matter if its three weeks or 30 years... its a big change. I thought the first few weeks weren't too bad ... until the reality of "this will be life" set in. Hopefully those 15 days just fly by.

Thank you. It is selfish of me, though. DH leaves her every day and I kept crying telling him I can't bear the thought of leaving her in the morning. What an a$$.

melandjudd · September 2011

I just keep reminding myself that the money I make will help afford DD opportunities that she might otherwise not get. It is tough but I think the light at the end of the tunnel should get you through.

JUSTBEYOURSELF · September 2011

buck it up and bring a few funny pictures of your little girl. you can do it. you keep your eye on the prize and do it for your little girl. enjoy your bonus!!!! and then buy your self a little something for the 3 weeks of pay for going back!

pinkflipflops44 · September 2011

I work part-time 4 hours a day, but I enjoy the time away. ;P Her bed time isn't typically until 8-9 so we still have plenty of time together, plus our lazy mornings. However, I do suggest utilizing your crockpot. Even if it is just to get the meat ready for the night. I cook chicken in it so I canshred it and make tacos/enchiladas/whatever just because it takes less time to get dinner ready, since I get home, feed her, and need to get dinner ready in about a 45 minute time span.

calm_angel_2003 · September 2011

melandjudd:
I just keep reminding myself that the money I make will help afford DD opportunities that she might otherwise not get. It is tough but I think the light at the end of the tunnel should get you through.

this exactly i take a couple of pics throughout the week and when i get frustrated or upset i pull them out and i remind myself its for him

andigurl · September 2011

I actually enjoy going to work. This is week three and I like my time away. As a disclaimer, I do get to see DS everyday at lunch though, and I only work 3 miles from home and my boss is super slack. We take 1.5 hr lunches and leave a half hour early every day. I work 'full-time' and I still get 2.5 hrs with Grayson in the morning, 45min to an hr at lunch and 2 hours at night. If I only had an hour with him each day I think I'd feel pretty sad about working too.

Temp38995750004016 · September 2011

andigurl:
I actually enjoy going to work. This is week three and I like my time away. As a disclaimer, I do get to see DS everyday at lunch though, and I only work 3 miles from home and my boss is super slack. We take 1.5 hr lunches and leave a half hour early every day. I work 'full-time' and I still get 2.5 hrs with Grayson in the morning, 45min to an hr at lunch and 2 hours at night. If I only had an hour with him each day I think I'd feel pretty sad about working too.

You have a great set up! Unfortunately, my company is not as cool. I'm 15 minutes away, but I know I'll be expected to be a "team player" and put in 60 hours a week. Which I'm not gonna do...that's just the culture at my company.

sparkymcgeee · September 2011

It's really not too bad. I work until six or later and I still feel like I spend a lot of time with E because I'm BF-ing. I love my time away because my time at home is a million times more meaningful now. You can do it pook.

morganaday · September 2011

I would love to be a SAHM. I feel guilty for leaving DS every day, even though I know I shouldn't. DH is home with DS during the day and I'm usually home before 4pm since I go in early. Once DH is finished with grad school we are going to make it work . At least you have an end in sight. 3 weeks, piece of cake!

I noticed you live in Houston. I grew up in The Woodlands! Where in Houston are you?

mzsparklepdx · September 2011

pook:
amatistajoy:
I wouldn't feel like that Pook. Seriously, it doesn't matter if its three weeks or 30 years... its a big change. I thought the first few weeks weren't too bad ... until the reality of "this will be life" set in. Hopefully those 15 days just fly by.
Thank you. It is selfish of me, though. DH leaves her every day and I kept crying telling him I can't bear the thought of leaving her in the morning. What an a$$.

I feel like an a$$ for the same reason, but I don't care. It doesn't bother DH but it does bother me. It was really hard for me to go back, in large part because I don't really like my job either. I just keep telling myself that I'm doing it to provide food and shelter for LO and it's in her best interest to have my income. If your care provider can do it, getting texts and photos throughout the day really helps.

It sucks and there's really no way around it but to just do your best and get through it. And savor every snuggle when you get home to her.

Temp38995750004016 · September 2011

We live in The Heights.

I just feel like since she's been with me every.single.day it's going to be traumatic for her. But who am I kidding, she will have a blast. I will be the one who's emotionally traumatized!

mzsparklepdx · September 2011

pook:
We live in The Heights.
I just feel like since she's been with me every.single.day it's going to be traumatic for her. But who am I kidding, she will have a blast. I will be the one who's emotionally traumatized!

I worry that DD won't be happy with her caregivers and will be miserable, but then when I pick her up and she's had a grand time, I worry that she won't love me as much because she's not with me all the time. Isn't mommy guilt/worry fun?!

morganaday · September 2011

I love the smiles I get when I get home though...but yes, the mommy guilt is no fun..

Temp38995750004016 · September 2011

I guess the part that is really tearing me (and I hesitate to post this) is because we don't *need* the $. Yes, it's nice but it'd just go straight to savings, that's what we planned on anyway. It's just me being selfish and wanting to stay with LO when I need to just suck it up because in a few years we might need that extra cash.

I feel like I'm being very unfair to DH since he works 50-60 hour weeks to provide for us and I can't just go do this for a few weeks to cushion our savings. I feel like a huge brat, but another part of me is used to bringing in half the income, so I feel like I owe this to our family. I think DH doesn't care either way, he just wants me to be happy; but I feel horrible for either choice that I will be making.

sumpunkchair · September 2011

pook:

We live in The Heights.

I just feel like since she's been with me every.single.day it's going to be traumatic for her. But who am I kidding, she will have a blast. I will be the one who's emotionally traumatized!

This is the reason I specifically spent time away from my baby from time to time on maternity leave, because I knew it would be harder the longer I went. It gets easier, it really does. I still get intense moments of missing her. She stays with my mom when I'm at work, I text her and ask for a picture so I feel like I can kinda peek in on her.

disneyfan0511 · September 2011

pook:

I guess the part that is really tearing me (and I hesitate to post this) is because we don't *need* the $. Yes, it's nice but it'd just go straight to savings, that's what we planned on anyway. It's just me being selfish and wanting to stay with LO when I need to just suck it up because in a few years we might need that extra cash.

I feel like I'm being very unfair to DH since he works 50-60 hour weeks to provide for us and I can't just go do this for a few weeks to cushion our savings. I feel like a huge brat, but another part of me is used to bringing in half the income, so I feel like I owe this to our family. I think DH doesn't care either way, he just wants me to be happy; but I feel horrible for either choice that I will be making.

Don't feel bad about this at all! It's a very personal decision that only YOU can make. For me personally, I'd like to have the extra cushion in savings so I'd probably suck it up for three weeks. However, if you really can't stand the thought of going back for three weeks, don't. Either choice is totally fine and it sounds like you have an awesome, supportive DH!

adellel · September 2011

I'll be honest, it is so hard! The good thing is that he is with my mom right now, but come January, he has to go to a non-family member. Breaks my heart, but as long as he comes home happy, I know that things are good for him. I just try to give him all of the love and attention that I can when he gets home at night.

LLH2010 · September 2011

I only work 3 days a week, but it's 12 hour days so I see Lila about an hour on those days. It is hard and I miss her, but I make sure that I more than make up for it on my off days.

You'll be okay Pook, it's 15 days and if the worst thing you ever do to Georgia is go to work and leave her with a sitter or family member then I think she will be okay.

alliejoe · September 2011

I know you said you can't leave the office, but could the person caring for her bring her to you for lunch? You could nurse her during your lunch break- a few moms who went back to work are able to do that and they really love the time the get to spend with LO (and you don't have to pump for that feed-lol)

AmyO. · September 2011

You can do it! I thought I would hate going back to work (which I do) but I would definitely go back and not feel guilty at all if it were only 3 weeks.

And it is a nice break to be able to pump throughout the day. I have some videos on my phone of my little man and watch them while I pump.

UndecidedChange · September 2011

If you don't need the money/are ambivalent about it, then evaluate how much it's worth staying with Georgia. I'm sure staying with her wins by a landslide.

If you want/need the money, don't fool yourself into thinking that it's an option. It's not. Suffer the 3 weeks but know it'll end.

Want a personalized experience?

working moms, please help

Re: working moms, please help

Choose Another Board

Search Boards