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AmyFTM
member
Who was in the delivery room with you?
AmyFTM
member
I really want both DH and my mom in the delivery room with me. Since this is our first child DH and I don't know what to expect and having my mom there will just help calm our nerves plus I really want my mom present for the birth of her granddaughter. DH's mom already has a grandson and has been through the experience with DH's sister. My SIL told me most hospitals only allow one person in the room with you during "pushing", but it depends on if you get an easygoing nurse or not. My question is who makes this decision? My OB who has privileges at the hospital or the nurse on duty? I'm planning on delivering at either Methodist Hospital or St. Luke's- both in TMC if that helps. Is one hospital more lenient on this more than one person rule than the other? TIA!
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Re: Who was in the delivery room with you?
I don't know the answer to your questions about who makes the call, but it was just DH and I when I delivered and I'm so glad that is how it worked out. No one will be in the room or even waiting in the lobby while I'm pushing this time. We'll call them when we are ready for visitors.
I'd definitely talk to your Doctor about it and then when you get there, make your wishes known to the nurses. Both can help to mitigate any issues with other family members being pushy, as can your DH. If you just want your mom and other family members are hanging around, the nurses can tell them only your mom can stay, etc. I think every hospital is different and every situation is different.
I was told it was up to my dr. He didn't care as long as no one got in the way. (I didn't want a bunch of people there, anyway!)
With my oldest it was DH, my mom and my sister.
With my second it was Dh and my sister. (My mom was watching my oldest)
With the third it was DH, my mom and my sister, again.
MIL lives out of state and wouldn't want to be in the room anyway.
First time around I just wanted DH, though I wanted other people in the waiting room. It was nice to have other people pop in and visit during a long boring labor, but I planned to kick everyone out when it came time to push (I never got to pushing though and had a c/s).
Second time around I was planning just DH again. I had a vbac, and my mom was in town to watch DD. I knew my mom would love to be a part of it, and labor was taking so long that I asked her to come to the hospital - I'd been stalled out for hours, I'd been in the hospital for about 22 hours when I invited her, so it seemed like there'd be plenty of time for her to come visit before I got to pushing. (And my BFF was nearby to stay with DD while she was sleeping). But seconds before my mom walked in the room, I hit 10cm. It was an enormous room, I could have had a dozen people watching and still not been in the OB and nurses' way. So I told mom she could stay, but she had to stay on the couch on the side because she tends to pass out at the sight of blood. She did fine and took some nice pictures that I wouldn't have had otherwise.
My parents were there with DH and when I was being induced. I didn't want anyone else. I would actually kick my parents out from time to time.
I'm a pretty private person when it comes to my body and I didn't want anyone else in there. DH actually had to talk me into letting my mom.
SIL had lots of people with her and I think MIL thought the same would happen with me.
nope.
DH went with me when I had my C-section.
I had a scheduled c/s, so DH was the only option.
Before we knew it would be c/s it was only going to be DH. The rest we were going to play by ear, but for actual delivery I didn't want anyone there.
For DD, my mom and dad were in there. DH couldn't get off of his rig in time, so I asked both of my parents to be there. My doc wouldn't let us have a third. We were seconds away from an emergency c/s and had I been taken to the OR, it would have been my mom with me. My BFF, sister and my ex-boyfriend's mom were with me during labor, but they got kicked out for delivery.
For DS, we had a scheduled c/s and it was just DH. My Mom and my ex-boyfriend's Mom were in the waiting room.
Pics by Fleurish Imagery
With DD DH was the only one. We didn't have anyone else who lived in the same state. With the crazy long labor I would have enjoyed visitors but we didn't even really have any friends in town. And it was a c-sec in the middle of the night so no one else would be around anyway.
With the next one we now live near family. I would still only want DH there for delivery, but it will most likely be a scheduled c-sec so I'm sure he'll be the only one. I won't need visitors for the labor with that situation either. But I'll be happy to have people to visit afterwords!!
Most hospitals in this area have no problem with more than one person being in the room... unless it is a cesarean. During cesareans, St. Lukes only lets one person in with you.
As a doula, I attend many women in labor/birth who have spouse/partner, in addition to me, and sometimes more people
The biggest crowd I have ever seen for a mama I was working with was a mom, her husband, her best friend, her best friend's husband (she was a surrogate for her BF), best friend's mom and best friend's husband's mom, and me. LOL. That was at Bayshore. During pushing, though, she only wanted the 4 of us and her. (BF, BF's DH, and her DH and me).
With DD I had my Mom and a close family friend (she's like an older sister to me). My Dad, SD, SM, Brother, 2 sisters and Grandpa all waited in the waiting room.
With DS I told everyone that I didn't want them around, but they came to sit in the waiting room anyway. I was induced on a Mon morning and my Mom took off work to come in town. DH was the only one actually in the room and then after my Mom got DD from school (the school is across the street from the hospital) DD was the 1st one in the room to come see him. We wanted some time for just the 4 of us before everyone came in.
ETA: My hospital would allow 3 people other than myself. I would call the hospital and see.
Collin Thayne 10.11.2010
#1 DH, my mom, close friend and her infant son (sitting in the baby carrier). It's kind of cool that Ls BFF was in the room when he was born...
#2 DH, mom, close friend...
We had several friends that came as soon as we called to say the baby had arrived.. No way I'd want MIL there. She's sweet and all, but she stresses me out!
My doc said I could have as many as I wanted as long as they were not in the way.
On the St. Luke's tour, people asked several times how many visitors are allowed in (apparently the people on my tour were a bunch of bad listeners!). The answer was always as many as you want. They did say that the nurses don't mind shooing people out if that's what the mom wants. I'm sure the doctor would speak up if the visitors became too distracting.
I had scheduled c-sections, so it was just my husband both times. My mom came with us to pre-op both times, and she was allowed in recovery at St. Luke's. That was wonderful!
It was me, DH, and the required medical personnel. I didn't want anyone else there. I didn't even want family waiting outside the door. I didn't want an audience. They were down the hall in the waiting room and saw Evan as he went to the nursery for his first bath/tests.
When we let family in to visit I had my mom come in first, then MIL and SIL, then all the guys (my dad, brother, FIL, BIL). Most people went to see the baby and totally forgot to come say hi to me.
Dx: PCOS and short luteal phase
18 cycles (3 with our RE) - Metformin + Clomid + HCG booster did the trick!
BFP #1 6/22/09 EDD: 3/2/10 DS born: 3/8/10
TTC #2 since Dec 2011
BFP #2 7/8/12 EDD: 3/18/12 M/C @ 9w1d: 8/16/12
i delivered at st lukes in the med center.
i was induced and i let family come and go when i was in labor (33 hours is a long time and i got lonely/bored), but when it came time to push it was just dh, which is what we both wanted.
luckily my mil (an ob/gyn nurse herself) was the one who began ushering everyone out when they said it was about time to get going. the l&d nurse had asked me about it beforehand but neither of us had to say anything.
I delivered at Woman's both times, but I'm unaware of their policy on how many people can be in the room.
With our daughter, it was just my husband. With our son, I was induced and scheduled to start Pitocin at 7am and my husband was planning to come to the hospital after dropping off our daughter. However, he was born at 6:44 am and I ended up with no one there but hospital staff!
DH, mom, two of my aunts, my sister. I didn't think I wanted that many, but now I'm grateful they were there. The baby went into distress and it was very scary for DH and me, I'm just glad we had them there,it was comforting
I think the OB makes the call. My OB originally said only DH and one other person, but then when he came to my room for the pushing, he told the nurses everyone could stay if I wanted. We did have a bigger room than most, though. I requested it when we checked in.
Ask the hospital. Nurses will usually limit people to those you specify, diplomatically keeping others in the waiting room. Might as well ask your doctor (not the hospital) about camera policies while you're at it.
I think it is great that your mom can be there.