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Just lost it :-(

SpocklesSpockles member
in Special Needs

I just completely lost it with DS. I think I've hit my breaking point. For the last two weeks, every morning when he eats breakfast, he starts whipping his food across the table into the kitchen. When he does it, he is immediately done. I clean him up and get him out of his chair. But today, I just freaked and yelled NOOO!. I can't take it anymore!!! I don't know how to make him stop doing this. DH looked at me like I was crazy. He just doesn't get it. He's not here with DS all.day.long. dealing with all of these things every day, all day.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make this behavior stop? (DS has autism)

Just needed to vent.

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Re: Just lost it :-(

  • ToastieSimonsToastieSimons member

    Is he struggling with sitting at the table   I'm wondering if he has attached throwing food with being allowed to go and play? Maybe he doesn't want to sit and eat and knows that if he throws the food then you let him get down and go play.

    What happens if you hold off breakfast for half an hour until he's hungrier? 

    To my boys:  I will love you for you Not for what you have done or what you will become I will love you for you I will give you the love The love that you never knew
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  • luckyfrggluckyfrgg member
    I can relate.  We're dealing with a similar behavior here (and have been, for what feels like forever) and the only solution I've been able to find is an immediate "at the table" timeout - I tell her no, food stays on the plate unless you want to eat it, and then pull her chair back from the table for a minute and tell her she needs a timeout.  After that minute is up, I pull her back to the table, and ask her if she wants to keep eating.  If she says yes, I put her plate back in front of her and we start over again.  If she says no, I move the plate so she can't get to it and say "OK, you don't have to eat more, but Mommy and Daddy and Maggie are still eating, so you need to stay with us while we finish."  She absolutely doesn't get to leave the table as a result of the behavior - that seems to be helping to curb it, but it's still definitely an issue.
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  • MirandaHobbesMirandaHobbes member
    Sadly I also think it's just one of those things he'll eventually outgrow. Your post made me remember the phase where DS would always- ALWAYS throw or spill something "accidentally on purpose" to tell us that he was done eating. We'd immediately stop dinner and he'd happily be on his way. He didn't have the bandwith, as Auntie put it, to figure out that he needed to say "all done". I will say that at 3.5 years he has just now come around to that. He's actually a pretty good eater. I started putting less food on his plate- then he's more likely to eat all of it and he asked to politely (ha- sometimes) ask for more. It is a matter of patience but I totally understand the freak outs. I think I just got so used to cleaning up his spills that I just expected it after awhile. DS will still play with his drink if he's bored. Oftentimes it'll accidentally spill because he's not being careful. Last night my DH freaked at DS because he "accidentally on purpose" spilled his milk on the floor. He said to DS: "You're going to be in trouble!" A few minutes later he accidentally (not on purpose) spilled his milk- he looked up at DH and I and burst into tears saying "I don't want to be in trouble!!!" So I know he's listening to us, but he just can't put it all together yet. We try to be patient but heavens I don't know what the heck I'd do if I saw it all day every day. Hang in there- this too shall pass!
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  • jsugrinjsugrin member

    How frustrating.  I hear ya on losing it and having DH give you a big whaaaatttt look, in fact just two nights ago my girlfriend and I were talking about the divide between spouses how deal with kids all day and those who don't.

    Since he does it immediately do you think he's not hungry?  Is he a super picky eater and it's his way of telling you he doesn't want what you put on the table?  Does he just think it's cool to watch his food fly?  If he's not hungry and your schedule allows for breakfast later it would certainly be worth a try, if it's because he's picky maybe use breakfast as a time where you stick with things he likes and battle introductions at other meals.  If he likes to see it fly then maybe these, they suction to the table. They have lids so if he tosses the food you could snap the lid on and do the table time out someone else mentioned.

    image 

    https://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Toddler-Suction-Colors/dp/B002D41T8S/ref=pd_sbs_ba_3

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  • lemen99lemen99 member

    This was my son for the longest time. It frustrated me to no end.  and I think we are *finally* through it.

    This is what we did:

    -completely ignore food throwing...we didn't react...the behavior started to taper off

    -when he got a little older i asked him to tell mommy when he was all done.  we modeled good behavior.  I took his plate/tray away if he threw.  If he asked for  more then he could have more.

    -Even if he was done eating, he had to sit and wait until we were all done eating.  So he understood that throwing food doesn't mean he gets down.

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