Exclusive pumping?

legaleagles · September 2011

Does anyone have any ggod, successful ep stories. I'm thinking if I want to continue to bf Harper it might have to be through pumping. She has a horrible, painful, shallow latch. When she was first born she wasn't getting any milk, in fact she lost weight nursing. So for about 5 days or so I pumped and dh gave her a bottle. Then she started latching, but I didn't know what in was doing and we were doing it all wrong...don't know if it was me or her...but I can't help but blame myself. Finally when she was four weeks old we went to an lc and the bad latch was confirmed and we were shown what to do and we've been working on it, but the pain is t getting better. And it's not uncomfortable pain, it's crying in pain, so etimes screaming whe she bites down. My nipples are in shreds and bleeding (to the point that she is ingesting and spitting up my blood) and no matter what I do or how good her latch looks from the outside she doesn't get e ough of my areola in her mouth and her to gue doesn't come out enough. At the first visit the lc didn't think she had a tongue tie, but she's going to reevaluate tomorrow when we have another appointment. Harper has only had one ounce of formula when she lost so much weight and I'm proud of that. But the thought of ep scares me. I took a bf break this weekend to let my nipples heal a bit and pumped while dh fed her...but dh won't be around all the time so feeding and pumping would take over my life. I'm beginning to resent bf because of the pain and that is just devastating to me. I'm trying to be hopeful that it will get better. We've made it almost six weeks, but I honestly don't know if it will...or how long I can live in excruciating pain and keep,trying. Imreallynwant her to get my breast milk but I'm terrified of being held hostage to the pump and bottle feeding. If anyone has any successful stories of pumping long term, or just words of encouragement I could use them...I'm feeling pretty defeated right now.

mrscerruti2be · September 2011

M, I just want to offer hugs. This story sounds similiar to my story with #2. It was awful from the beginning and I had a super rough time. Her latch was terrible and I was feeling so defeated too. I had a couple of breakdowns and really worried about my bond with my daughter. It wasn't what I wanted and I kind of resented her. Honestly, I would have quit had it not been that I was successful with number 1.

You are so not alone. Breastfeeding is f'ing hard and can be one of those most time consuming things ever.

I did not exclusively pump, but I know Linds did for awhile. I hope she can chime in to help you.

You are doing a great job, M. You are a wonderful Mama. Again, hugs my friend.

ashleyhuney · September 2011

I don't personally know any good pumping stories but I didn't want to read and not respond. First of all, hugs, bfing can be so hard. You say that H lost weight in the beginning, please know that it is the normal to lose weight after birth. It takes ebf babies I believe an average of 2 to 3 weeks to return to birth weight. I had a rocky start to bfing with DS similiar to what you are discribing. He lost a ton of weight because I was a space cadet and couldn't take charge of his latch. His latch was so bad he shredded my nipples - cracked, bleeding, all that. The best way I can describe the pain of bfing was fist through the wall pain. I had to watch tv (not a tv person) every feeding to even get through it to get my mind off of the pain. I kept making little goals, and found that when I reached a goal I was willing to give it a little more time. The crazy pain finally went away about 2 months, and pretty soon after got to almost pain free. I ended up bfing him until 2.5 years! And further hope, with DD I've had absolutely no pain at all! Anyway, good luck with whatever you choose.

carmeng · September 2011

Molly, I want to offer you huge hugs...you've come a long ways - I can't say that about me. I didn't try hard enough with Alexa, she would scream and I would cry and I gave up BF and went onto EP. I'm going on 11 weeks of EP, started pumping 8 - 10 times a day and I'm now down to 6 times a day.

I hope someone can chime in and provide some insight on how to make it work and be successful. As I mentioned to you before it is time consuming but I've been doing some research and it seems to be that after you establish your supply you can drop pumping sessions and still be able to provide enough. I believe the first 3 months are the most difficult ones because you have to pump all the time so that your supply doesn't suffer.

Hang in there!!

bunch · September 2011

My BFF had a premie and some latch issues that never got resolved. Her DD is now almost 18months and still EP. BFF rocks at pumping! She's gotten a lot of help/advice from the babycenter EP message boards- and I think that there is a EP message board here too.

You still have time to work with a lactation consultant too- they can help a ton. HUGS- BF'ing is hard!

bunch · September 2011

Does your hospital happen to have a bf'ing support group? I LIVED at the one at Alta Bates for probably 6 months- there every week. Sometimes I'd just go because we'd inevitably have a good nursing while there, sometimes I'd go and cry for an hour. But getting out of the house and knowing that there were people to help helped me so much. BF'ing is definitely not as natural a process as some people make it seem.

torylynn1 · September 2011

My sis had the same issues with her LO spitting up blood-Freaked her out, and she was miserable so she exclusively pumped and it totally healed her nipples. I don't recall ever being with her in public when she had to do it-just planned it around her times at home. She had a TON of milk stashed up from it too.

G/L!

Lexi & Orion's Mommy · September 2011

big hugs! I did ep for Lexi untill she was almost 6 months, and Orion mostly EP'd. After he was about 3 months old i tried putting him on the breast and it worked out. i still had to pump though because of work. I know Kala did ep. too. THere is hope, and i would just try and follow the laction consultants advice and take it one day at a time.

starlily313 · September 2011

I EP'd for almost 3 months. I would have kept going, but my supply tanked when AF returned.

It can be done though -- I have a friend that EP'd for 14 months! It seems like you are determined to make it work, which is key. I think pp's suggestion of setting smaller goals, like one day or one week or one month at a time can be very helpful. I've also heard that investing in a second set of phlanges & membranes is useful so that you're not constantly having to wash parts before the next session.

futrkingsley · September 2011

I'm sorry you are having a tough time. I saw this last night and couldn't respond from my phone. I didn't have those particular issues but I can say that when I had shredded nipples in the beginning, I wore Medela soft shells for sore nipples and they were like magic. I wore them around the clock and my nipples healed quickly. You wear them between nursings and it puts slight pressure on the nipple but also provides it a helmet almost so they don't rub and chaffe and they get air to heal. I loved them.

I hope you can get some resolution to the possible tongue tie -- it sounds like that might help you figure out if the issues is something that can be fixed.

pkw · September 2011

I too didnt want to read and not respond.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. BF was a disaster for us too, there was the whole severed nipple incident and never getting engorged, etc. I don't have an EP story because my supply dried up at 8 weeks...what little supply I had (I was supplementing from 24 hours on because I had nothing to give and he was losing too much weight).

Regardless of what you choose and what is right for your family...here is a piece of advice that the board gave me that took me a while to feel but I appreciate being told it...

You are not a failure. Look what you have done so far, you brought Harper into this world and you have given her a beautiful happy and loving home. You chose the best father in the world for her and guess what....you are the best mother in the world for her too. You are not a failure, you are a warrior and you have absolutely nothing to feel guilt about, no matter what choice you make. You are a freaking rockstar mama.

secretkeeper321 · September 2011

Don't feel defeated...you are an awesome Mom who is giving 100% to baby H and are asking the right questions and reaching out...that is wonderful. Pat yourself on the back, don't beat yourself up.

As for the EP...yes, extremely difficult. However, it can be done and you are so amazing I know if that is what you choose, it'll be successful.

I have two success stories to share...a very good friend and my SIL both EP due to NICU stays and latching issues with their first baby(ies). They were both dedicated and they made it work. They also were SAHM's and EP for around a year a piece (SIL for a bit longer).

When you return to work, the EPing might turn out to be a blessing. You won't have to worry about H not taking a bottle and you'll have all the difficulties of pumping worked out.

good luck and hang in there

kala1682 · September 2011

I don't have time to respond right now but I wanted to say I have been EPing for almost 13 months now. I'll come back this afternoon and resp

m&m818 · September 2011

I'm so sorry that BF'ing is so difficult right now.

The short story is that pumping didn't work for our family. I wanted to explain more because I think making this kind of decision is more complex than just 'making it work'.

The long story is I wasn't getting enough milk to make it worth it. I found pumping itself to be very timeconsuming, making the whole process of actually feeding my kid so exhausting that I was starting to build a lot of resentment and anger towards my daughter. I ended up later being told I had PPD and needed some counseling. Probably should have started that sooner.

So what I'm trying to say is that what works for one family, may not work for another. You shouldn't feel bad for whatever you decide... You are a GREAT mom to that little girl for being there and getting this far with those kinds of issues (and however long you decide to go).

As a side note there was a positive to my choice, I was able to focus on bonding with my kid while I fed her via bottle. I did a lot of sessions with her on my barechest and I really do cherish that time we had together.

Big hugs, M. Hope the LC can help guide you to the right solution for your family.

mrsiegarcia · September 2011

I could have written this post when my first DD was born. When we left the hospital the nurses told me that nursing would hurt a little but by the second week I was ready to give up on the whole thing. I called my OB one day and told her I would rather give birth to my DD 10 times than BF. Every feeding my DD was crying because she was hungry and I would cry because it hurt so much. My nipples were bleeding and I just couldn't take it anymore. I went to the LC provided by my hospital but she wasn't much help and I was ready to give up when I hired a different LC. She told me my DD was tongue tied and we went and got her tongue clipped but that didn't help either. It was at that point when she was almost 7 weeks that I decided I was not longer going to breastfeed her and just pump. I EP for 12 months. Was it hard? Yes, initially it's a lot of work, I had to pump every two hours, clean pumping supplies, feed baby, sleep a little and once again be up again to pump. As my DD got bigger I was able to pump every four hours and eventually I was able to sleep through the night like her. When I went back to work when she was 6 months I was pumping 4 times only and producing enough for her to drink during the day. I would pump at 5AM, noon, 5PM, and before I went to bed. My supply would dip a little when AF arrived each month but other than that I was a successful EP. BF is not easy but it sounds you are committed. Like previous post have mentioned have small goal first EP for 3 months, than 6, than 9 and before you know it she'll be a year! Good luck and let me know if you have any questions.

kala1682 · September 2011

Okay I have time now. First off huge hugs! Its tough! We had major latch issues and both of us ended up crying every time. I decided it was not worth the fight and started pumping.

In the beginning I was pumping every 2 hours, so between pumping and feeding her it felt like I only had 45 minutes before I had to start the cycle again. However I kept with it. Once I was producing more I pushed it out to every 4 hours. and was pumping a 5am, 9am, 1pm, 5pm, 9pm and usually once in the middle of the night depending on when she woke up. I kept that schedule till she started sleeping through the night (About 5-6 months) Then I dropped down to 7am, 12pm, 5pm, and 10ish (right before I went to bed). At 12 months I dropped to 3 times a day - 7, 5, 10.

There are times where I have wanted to give up and been really close to. But in the end I was making a ton of milk so for me it was worth it.

The big thing is don't clean the pump parts after every pump session! I would put them in a tupperware in the fridge for the next time. In the early stages I was cleaning them twice a day, now I just clean them at night.

If you have any specific questions let me know or if you just need to vent or need support you can email me at kala_1682 @ yahoo

SJBride05 · September 2011

{hug} Molly... I wish I could offer some advice. I know you are doing everything you can for Harper and she's very lucky to have you.

I hope you find the right answers to help you in your decision.

NorcalLinds · September 2011

Big hugs M!! Nursing is just so hard. I had similar issues with logan, nipples bleeding him coughing up blood. I tried a nipple shield to help with the pain. Around 8 weeks I switched to ep. It was out of desperation, I couldn't stand nursing him anymore, the pain, etc. I also had the baby blues big time. Anyway I EP for 6 months. During that time I was very driven go provide Logan with breastmilk. I really felt like a big fat failure of a mom for quitting to I pumped to they and make up for that. I pumped everywhere! I remember pumping twice at a get together in SF at the academy of science. A little nutty :-) looking back on the experience now, I wish I would have let myself off the hook and switched to formula. I spent all my time pumping, stressing about pumping, how to fit it in and keep Logan happy, washing bottles, pump parts etc.

whatever decesion you make please give yourself a big hug. You are working so so hard, and I can tell you are doing everything for your little girl. Big hugs M

KellyMRocks · September 2011

I think you've gotten a lot of great advice, I just wanted to offer support and hugs. I am so sorry you're having such a hard time. enough I can not say good things about the LCs and FREE support group at Day One Centers. There are locations in Palo Alto, WC and SF. If you're able to get to one. Just getting out and being around other nursing moms with varying nursing issues was very helpful to me. Good luck with what ever you decide!

legaleagles · September 2011

Thank you all for your support and envouragement. I am working with an lc and attend two different bf groups...one at good Sam and one at a local birth and family center. I've added a shield and am having some alleviation of the pain...so I'm trying tone optimistic, but I know it may not be a long term solution. Right now it is a day at a time. Thank you all for sharing your stories and your support. I know I'm not on here much, buti truly value all the love and support from you all.

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