CIO moms (sympathize with me please!)

kristalovesjared · September 2011

We did CIO with dd at 9 months and she's been a great sleeper since. Even when sleeping at grandmas house, aunts house, etc as long as she was in a room we could shut the door, she was fine. We recently moved far away and were in a hotel for 3 weeks where she slept with us ( she would not sleep in the pnp with us in the room). We're now moved into a house and she is having such a hard time going to sleep at night, naps are no problem. She has all her familiar things from her room at our old house and I tried to make it set up as similar as possible. Once she knows its time for bed she clings on tight and says, "cuddle, cuddle!". We thought maybe it was the dark, but a night light didn't make it any better. CIO is a lot harder when she's screaming, "mama, dada, out please!". If we go in to calm her it only makes it way worse when we leave. In the past CIO is the only thing that worked and it worked fast, but it's already been 4 days and doesnt seem to be getting better at night time, as of today she didnt even cry at her nap! She is really strong willed and the cry time isn't as long as when she was 9 months, I just thought she'd pick it up faster... Or hoped.

Tell me to stay strong!!!!

hepcats · September 2011

I see that you are pregnant with #2. Could she maybe be sensing that there's only so much time left before there's another baby around? I've heard about kids and pets having these issues of separation with another baby on the way. Outside of that, be strong, mama! She will sleep again!

scarletii · September 2011

How long have you been in the new house?? I'm sure even with her familiar surroundings, it still smells different. Hopefully, in a few days she will get back into her groove. Sorry mama! Smile

Seattle_JiLLn · September 2011

You could try my version where you stay in the room with her while she falls asleep maybe?

Maddimom · September 2011

Seattle_JiLLn:
You could try my version where you stay in the room with her while she falls asleep maybe?

I would try the J version. Try laying on her bedroom floor for a few nights.

Asquared · September 2011

hepcats:
I see that you are pregnant with #2. Could she maybe be sensing that there's only so much time left before there's another baby around? I've heard about kids and pets having these issues of separation with another baby on the way. Outside of that, be strong, mama! She will sleep again!

this is what I was thinking- they seem to know when something is about to change, be extra comforting and set a limit- when my 3 year old tries to say will you stay and snuggle with me- I give her 10 seconds and count out loud. GL!

kristalovesjared · September 2011

Asquared:
hepcats:
I see that you are pregnant with #2. Could she maybe be sensing that there's only so much time left before there's another baby around? I've heard about kids and pets having these issues of separation with another baby on the way. Outside of that, be strong, mama! She will sleep again!

this is what I was thinking- they seem to know when something is about to change, be extra comforting and set a limit- when my 3 year old tries to say will you stay and snuggle with me- I give her 10 seconds and count out loud. GL!

You know... This could be part of it. We have all the baby gear in the baby's bedroom now and she has been playing in the swing, jumperoo and even found the binkys that she hasn't used since she was 6 months old. I have been making her bedtime routine a lot longer so that we get more time together, but she does know there is a baby in my belly and she talks about it all the time.
Dh tried laying on the floor in her room, but it only makes her cry harder and longer because she can see him, but can't cuddle with him. One night I contemplated getting in the crib, but she'd wake up when I get out. If we go in and rock her she is so worried we'll leave that any little movement makes her cling on with all of her might and is not productive to helping her relax and fall asleep.
I have a feeling it's something that will just take time, like a million other things in life. I just hate seeing/hearing her get so upset.

Seattle_JiLLn · September 2011

The first night I laid on the floor with Cooper it took him 1 1/2 hours to fall asleep. The next night 25 minutes. It's sort of like CIO. You just have to decide you're going to stick with it and not change plans every night. No matter what you decide to do you have to stick with it for a week at least I think... I liked the laying on the floor because I could talk to him and comfort him and explain what was happening. If he got super hysterical I stood by the crib and hugged him but I didn't take him out. I just got him calmed down so he could lay down. At one point I finally had to threaten to leave the room if he didn't lay down. And then I called his bluff and I left and he freaked and I said you have to lay down. and he did. And I laid down, and he fell asleep. And after that, I just had to say "I will stay if you lay down" and he would at least lay down. I held his hand through the bars sometimes. ANd then when that was all pretty easy and he didn't complain about it, I just said "lay down and I need to go potty and I'll be right back" and I came right back. The next night I stayed away longer before he complained. And the third night he never complained.

wsd22 · September 2011

Just stay strong! It sucks but you can do it!! It is harder when they call you out by name. I wouldn't do anything transitional....like laying on the floor etc.... you will just draw out the process even longer. I would do now what you would like to do in the future. Turn off the light, close the door and leave. (or whatever your "normal routine" is)

I have 2 DC and have done CIO with both. It is not easy - it is one of the hardest things to do. Looking back - it has also been the best. Giving your children the ability to soothe themselves to sleep is so very valuable. You are not hurting your child. You are doing just what you should as a parent - letting her learn to do something independently.

Good for you! Hang in there. No one said parenting was going to be easy. You are doing the right thing. Let us know how it goes tonight.

Seattle_JiLLn · September 2011

Overall you just have to do what's comfortable for you. Yes my laying on the floor 'method' took longer than the standard 3 day CIO that most people talk about. But it's what I could handle. It felt better to my heart. And I did it with both kids and I just say good night and leave now with no troubles. So having an intermediate step (if that's what you want to do) doesn't mess them up forever or anything. There are many methods to getting to the same final result. You have to gauge your own child and your own comfort with what you're doing.

kristalovesjared · September 2011

Last night and tonight I went in after 10 min, assured her she is ok and I'm here, gave a big hug and walked out. I think that's what is going to work best... After I go in she does get really worked up, but seems like she calms down quicker. Hopefully by the end of the week it'll be better. She's only been taking a 1-1.5 hour nap instead of the normal 2.5-3 hr nap, so I think her being over tired isn't helping on top of everything else.

Seattle_JiLLn · September 2011

kristalovesjared:
Last night and tonight I went in after 10 min, assured her she is ok and I'm here, gave a big hug and walked out. I think that's what is going to work best... After I go in she does get really worked up, but seems like she calms down quicker. Hopefully by the end of the week it'll be better. She's only been taking a 1-1.5 hour nap instead of the normal 2.5-3 hr nap, so I think her being over tired isn't helping on top of everything else.

Yeah getting over tired really messes up their cycle for sure! So much going on with your move and all... I'm sure the poor thing is just confused and a mess... She'll come back around! Glad you found soemthing that feels like it's going to work. That's half the battle.

gina000 · September 2011

Sounds like you are starting to make some progress. Good luck.

keri1013 · September 2011

You have my sympathy for sure! Glad you are seeing some progress. What works for everyone is different, so I say do what feels right to you! If it were me, I would do the checking method. That way she knows you are there, but eventually she will fall asleep on her own, and I bet before long the crying will go away again.

Good luck!

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