When does it get easier?

tarrrrrag · September 2011

I am currenlty in my first trimester (8 weeks, measuring 6 weeks), and I am unable be excited about my pregnancy because I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I guess dealing with IF has made me leary and less attached to this pregnancy. Is this normal? If so, when does it end? Most of my friends are fertiles and do not understand this feeling. They keep trying to convince me that things are ok and that I just need to have faith. If that was the case, I would never have gotten pregnancy because I would not have seeked treatment out and would still be waiting for it to happen naturally. Vent over.....thanks for listening!

bbakersgirl75 · September 2011

Vent away! We've all had/have these feelings. You are 110% completely normal!

For me, personally: It was my a/s last week at 19wks 2 days before I and DH let ourselves get excited. For the 19 weeks prior, I constantly worried waiting for the other shoe to drop. During our a/s they said our LO's weight was slightly above normal and even took up close measurements of all organs to make sure they were right and working.

That for me was the moment where I said: "It's all going to be ok. I am going to have this baby". I then went shopping for the first time, and have started planning for the nursery.

So worry away hun, because anything I tell you won't stop that What helped me until our a/s was a doppler. I could listen for that reassuring HB anytime I wanted with my doppler.

((Hugs))

jbeck78 · September 2011

I am glad you asked this, because I wanted to know the same thing. I have not even really accepted that I am pregnant yet because its so early and I know things can go wrong. I am hoping I feel a little better after my first ultrasound on Monday.

I had no idea how stressful it was to be pregnant. The night before my first beta I literally made myself sick because my symptoms disappeared, they came back though and apparently that is normal. My family that knows jokes and says this is going to be a long pregnancy, but I am just nervous.

I am Marla Singer · September 2011

I don't know that I'm super emotional like I thought I would be- but I am sort of detached. I wonder too then I'll feel better- like it's safe to get attached. I keep thinking after the NEXT appointment I'll feel safe... Tomorrow will be the third time seeing my baby- and all has gone great- so I'm hopeful I'll feel more ready to fully participate in this experience- and let go. I am still seeing my therapist- so she is helping me through this. It really sucks that we al have gone through so much- that we can't even have that innocent happiness everyone else gets.

siewekesgirl · September 2011

I felt more like I could breathe at 12 weeks but really didn't feel the most comfortable until 24 weeks......but the whole time I have been excited and blessed and in awe that i'm actually pregnant. Try to stave away the negative 'what if's' and focus on the positive thoughts about your child. not dwelling on things has helped me tremendously! Good luck gal! we've all been there and done that :-) you are not alone!

wordslikeswords · September 2011

I'm pretty sure every one of us has had these feelings. I started buying things around 10-11 weeks, but I'm still not comfortable. We did the NT scan and the combined screening was low risk, but now I'm on pins and needles for the A/S. I think the worry is starting to dwindle but there's always something going "there might still be a problem". I think it's good to try to focus on being pregnant and the positives about it, but worry sort of comes with the territory.. especially after IF. I think it'll start to get easier as time goes on though

tarrrrrag · September 2011

Thanks Ladies! It's nice to know that I'm not alone! I never thought about the fact that being pregnant would be harder than trying to get pregnant. I keep on trying to remind myself that today I am pregnant and that I should enjoy this! I guess this whole process will teach me how to be patient.

FabulousMrs.P · September 2011

It's totally normal to feel that way. I felt the same way, too. I found as each milestone went by, I slowly felt a little better...and it mostly went away after I could start feeling the baby move on a daily basis. I guess it gave me the daily reassurance that I needed that the baby is actually doing okay.

amers83010 · September 2011

You are definitely not alone. It's a completely normal feeling after all we've been through. For me, I still have worries, fears, doubts, every day. But feeling them move helps a TON! And now they've been getting hiccups so that's another reassurance that everyone is okay. My only advice is to just take it day by day. Each day you're closer to meeting them, you'll feel a little better

sterpstra10 · September 2011

I would say I was pretty detached from the whole pregnancy thing until I hit the 20 week mark. I was soooo sick (IV fluids and everything) and it just didn't seem real until I felt the baby moving and saw that 20-week ultrasound. I know it's hard and I felt very guilty for not being more excited, but I promise you will get there one day. Hang in there - and you are def. not alone with those feelings!

eaellis04 · September 2011

When I first found out I was pregnant, I would tell myself "TODAY I AM PREGNANT!" and tried to focus on the fact that my body was doing what it was "supposed" to do. Of course, I still had my fair share of worrying--and I STILL do. It did get easier for me after my NT scan and I saw that she seemed to be developing normally. Now that I'm feeling more consistent movement, I worry even less--but again, I think the worry will always be there. I just try to remind myself that I am doing everything that I can to make sure that she is ok--and that is all that I can do.

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