Where Will Baby Sleep?

cougar26 · September 2011

I am trying to decide where our LO will sleep when she gets here. With our DS, we co-slept, which I loved because it was so easy to BF. But, I know that is not always the safest option and now we have the problem of DS still wanting to sleep in our bed. I have thought about an Arm's Reach co-sleeper or a bassinet, but our bedroom is pretty small and it seems like a lot of money to spend on something that we can only use for a few months. Any suggestions?

Also, how do I update my tickers? I can't for the life of me remember.

lorist202 · September 2011

We borrowed a bassinet and then we were thrilled to just give it back. Plus, my cousin (who we borrowed it from) felt great about the bassinet getting extra usage!

katcarls · September 2011

We needed a PNP for travel anyway so we got one with a bassinet. DS slept in there in our room for the first 4.5 months and it worked really well.

ETA: Go to tools to create a new ticker and then go to my bump and edit avatar and sig. Replace the code for your old ticker with the new one.

Kimee13 · September 2011

In his crib with a video monitor - we've been lucky that he's slept through the night since 10 weeks. There is no way we would've gotten sound sleep with him in our room.

PS - DH is a police officer and every year at training the Medical Examiner reminds them that the 2 worst things you can do is sleep with your baby and have a bumper in their crib. Stepping off my soapbox.

water-fairy · September 2011

We prefer for baby to sleep in their own room, in the crib.

karen_loy · September 2011

DS slept by my bed in a bassinet we borrowed from my sister for 2 months, then he went into his crib, in his room (with the angelcare and a video monitor)

Temp123197812503460 · September 2011

Kimee13:

PS - DH is a police officer and every year at training the Medical Examiner reminds them that the 2 worst things you can do is sleep with your baby and have a bumper in their crib. Stepping off my soapbox.

It isn't for everyone but unless you are obese, or under the influence of heavy drugs or alcohol, you can sleep perfectly safely with a baby, and more recent studies show that it actually reduces SIDS risk.

water-fairy · September 2011

somewhereincali:
Kimee13:

PS - DH is a police officer and every year at training the Medical Examiner reminds them that the 2 worst things you can do is sleep with your baby and have a bumper in their crib. Stepping off my soapbox.
It isn't for everyone but unless you are obese, or under the influence of heavy drugs or alcohol, you can sleep perfectly safely with a baby, and more recent studies show that it actually reduces SIDS risk.

Not meaning to start anything or be snarky, but how exactly does sleeping with your baby reduce the risk of SIDS? If the baby suddenly stops breathing, how will the sleeping parent, even next to it, know? The parent is sleeping, after all. What am I missing? As far as my experience goes, I was so exhausted the first couple of weeks that I would pass out until DS was crying loud. Couldn't have been able to keep into account a sleeping newborn next to me. DH and I preferred the crib, hands down. And we had an AngelCare monitor which, unlike the exhausted new parents, would know immediately if the baby actually stopped breathing.

Temp123197812503460 · September 2011

The mother actually acts as a sort of breathing coach for the babies, it isn't that you hear that they stop breathing (which I agree would be impossible in your sleep!) but that the baby follows your breath. The scientific articles don't have a clear reason for this but they do see that the breathing and oxygen levels of babies are better when sleeping next to mom. The recommendation for babies not to sleep with their parents is based on a flawed study that looked at the number of deaths of babies in adult beds but didn't look at crib deaths or other factors that contributed to the bed deaths. I'm not trying to say you have to sleep with your baby, of course its not the right choice foe everyone, but it's working well for us for now. It's just a shame that the information isn't more accurate for people who do deicde its something they want to do!

HisKonstantine · September 2011

Baby isn't here yet but we have the Arm's Reach co-sleeper for her. There isn't a ton of space in our room but there's enough. She will never sleep in our bed with us.

janecanadian · September 2011

DD went straight to the crib. Our bedroom doors are right across from each other and we had a monitor on so we could hear her if she was making noise, but were far enough away that we could sleep soundly without worrying about waking her. DD was in the NICU for just over two weeks attached to monitors so it was a little nerve wrecking the first night knowing she wasn't attached to anything that would tell me that she was breathing and that her heart was beating. I just had to let go of the anxiety and realise that it was better for all of us for her to be in her own room.

I always see posts on here in the 3-6 and 6-9 boards saying "help! we co-slept and now we need to get her into her crib but she won't sleep there!". Why not start as you mean to go on? Get the baby used to the crib from the beginning so it's not a fight down the road. Just my two cents...

uncharch7 · September 2011

DS will go straight to the crib in his own room. Neither of us are comfortable with him being in bed with us.

CrazyToast · September 2011

We used the PnP bassinet. For 4 weeks DD slept horribly in that. Then we put her in the crib, and she's been an excellent sleeper!

CalinsBride · September 2011

water-fairy:
somewhereincali:
Kimee13:

PS - DH is a police officer and every year at training the Medical Examiner reminds them that the 2 worst things you can do is sleep with your baby and have a bumper in their crib. Stepping off my soapbox.

It isn't for everyone but unless you are obese, or under the influence of heavy drugs or alcohol, you can sleep perfectly safely with a baby, and more recent studies show that it actually reduces SIDS risk.
Not meaning to start anything or be snarky, but how exactly does sleeping with your baby reduce the risk of SIDS? If the baby suddenly stops breathing, how will the sleeping parent, even next to it, know? The parent is sleeping, after all. What am I missing? As far as my experience goes, I was so exhausted the first couple of weeks that I would pass out until DS was crying loud. Couldn't have been able to keep into account a sleeping newborn next to me. DH and I preferred the crib, hands down. And we had an AngelCare monitor which, unlike the exhausted new parents, would know immediately if the baby actually stopped breathing.

When babies sleep in the same room as their parents (not necessarily the same bed), their breathing patterns follow the breathing patterns of the parents. So if a baby randomly stops breathing, hearing it's parent breathe can actually jumpstart their breathing again. There have been a lot of scientific studies done on this. It's remarkable.

Saratogabride08 · September 2011

Our little girl is only 2 weeks old, but we tried the PnP bassinet and she hated it, she was a terrible sleeper at night but slept for hours during the day in the swing, so we tried the swing at night and it was amazing... we have to wake her for every feeding. I don't love that there is a plush head rest in it, SIDS scares me and she can turn just enough to get her mouth close but not covered, so we went and got the rock n' play, it feels very safe for sleeping and I think its the best thing we have right now. She sleeps great in it and I can bring it room to room easily during the day. I think its the shape of the swing and the rock and play that kind of holds her body more snugly which PnP didnt do.

Natalie97 · September 2011

We have the Universal Arm's Reach Co-sleeper all set up when LO arrives (soon)! I'm so excited for him to be here already, and I like it so far because it's much sturdier than the mini, larger, and the padding doesn't seem too hard. We have a tiny little place (1 bedroom), but we had enough space for it and the dresser right beside it with the changing pad so it'll be easy to nurse and change him in the night.

GL with your decision! It took me awhile to finally choose it over a cradle.

GoldenPeaches · September 2011

We have a pack and play with the bassinet and the rock and play. We will see which he likes best once he arrives. We intend to keep him in our room in the beginning and transition him to the crib when it seems right.

Kimee13 · September 2011

somewhereincali:
The mother actually acts as a sort of breathing coach for the babies, it isn't that you hear that they stop breathing (which I agree would be impossible in your sleep!) but that the baby follows your breath. The scientific articles don't have a clear reason for this but they do see that the breathing and oxygen levels of babies are better when sleeping next to mom. The recommendation for babies not to sleep with their parents is based on a flawed study that looked at the number of deaths of babies in adult beds but didn't look at crib deaths or other factors that contributed to the bed deaths. I'm not trying to say you have to sleep with your baby, of course its not the right choice foe everyone, but it's working well for us for now. It's just a shame that the information isn't more accurate for people who do deicde its something they want to do!

I don't consider my husband going to 2 calls in less than a year where a parent has suffocated their child by sleeping with them as a "flawed" study - it's REAL LIFE and both of those babies would be alive today if they had been in their own bed. On top of that, every Dr I have come into contact with (ob/gyn, Pedi, ER Dr, etc) are strictly against babies and parents in the same bed - it's a risk that doesn't need to be taken. You can talk all you want about these so called studies,but I tend to lead towards the facts that are real, meaning told to me in real life by Drs, Medical Examiners and DH's own experience.

BTW - neither of the 2 deaths were because the parents were obese or under the influence of drugs/alcohol, they were just exhaused and fell asleep.

Temp123197812503460 · September 2011

Kimee13:
somewhereincali:
The mother actually acts as a sort of breathing coach for the babies, it isn't that you hear that they stop breathing (which I agree would be impossible in your sleep!) but that the baby follows your breath. The scientific articles don't have a clear reason for this but they do see that the breathing and oxygen levels of babies are better when sleeping next to mom. The recommendation for babies not to sleep with their parents is based on a flawed study that looked at the number of deaths of babies in adult beds but didn't look at crib deaths or other factors that contributed to the bed deaths. I'm not trying to say you have to sleep with your baby, of course its not the right choice foe everyone, but it's working well for us for now. It's just a shame that the information isn't more accurate for people who do deicde its something they want to do!

I don't consider my husband going to 2 calls in less than a year where a parent has suffocated their child by sleeping with them as a "flawed" study - it's REAL LIFE and both of those babies would be alive today if they had been in their own bed. On top of that, every Dr I have come into contact with (ob/gyn, Pedi, ER Dr, etc) are strictly against babies and parents in the same bed - it's a risk that doesn't need to be taken. You can talk all you want about these so called studies,but I tend to lead towards the facts that are real, meaning told to me in real life by Drs, Medical Examiners and DH's own experience.

BTW - neither of the 2 deaths were because the parents were obese or under the influence of drugs/alcohol, they were just exhaused and fell asleep.

well these "so called studies" are in peer reviewed medical journals by MDs, and babies cosleep in many parts of the world.

On the calls your dh went on, were the babies breastfed? were the parents sleeping with bedding in their bed covering the baby? were the babies sleeping with the mom at breast height or up at the pillow?

i feel much safer with my babies in the bed, taking all the precautions to do so safetly, where we actually manage to get some sleep, vs what would happen if i made them sleep in the cribs and was up every half an hour when they wake up and i would undoubtedly fall asleep accidentally while trying to comfort them in the bed in an unsafe way

Temp123197812503460 · September 2011

Impressive that he was in 2 calls in a yeargiven that even the study that CPSC bases their recommendation on found 500 deaths in 8 years in the US due to adult bed sharing, of which only 121 were due to overlaying. https://archpedi.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/153/10/1019?ijkey=70a18189f374f24a21a7211da48618ba0aa31068&keytype2=tf_ipsecsha

Temp123197812503460 · September 2011

https://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml99/99175.html. This is the cps data.

Kimee13 · September 2011

somewhereincali:
Kimee13:

somewhereincali:
The mother actually acts as a sort of breathing coach for the babies, it isn't that you hear that they stop breathing (which I agree would be impossible in your sleep!) but that the baby follows your breath. The scientific articles don't have a clear reason for this but they do see that the breathing and oxygen levels of babies are better when sleeping next to mom. The recommendation for babies not to sleep with their parents is based on a flawed study that looked at the number of deaths of babies in adult beds but didn't look at crib deaths or other factors that contributed to the bed deaths. I'm not trying to say you have to sleep with your baby, of course its not the right choice foe everyone, but it's working well for us for now. It's just a shame that the information isn't more accurate for people who do deicde its something they want to do!

I don't consider my husband going to 2 calls in less than a year where a parent has suffocated their child by sleeping with them as a "flawed" study - it's REAL LIFE and both of those babies would be alive today if they had been in their own bed. On top of that, every Dr I have come into contact with (ob/gyn, Pedi, ER Dr, etc) are strictly against babies and parents in the same bed - it's a risk that doesn't need to be taken. You can talk all you want about these so called studies,but I tend to lead towards the facts that are real, meaning told to me in real life by Drs, Medical Examiners and DH's own experience.

BTW - neither of the 2 deaths were because the parents were obese or under the influence of drugs/alcohol, they were just exhaused and fell asleep.

well these "so called studies" are in peer reviewed medical journals by MDs, and babies cosleep in many parts of the world.

On the calls your dh went on, were the babies breastfed? were the parents sleeping with bedding in their bed covering the baby? were the babies sleeping with the mom at breast height or up at the pillow?

i feel much safer with my babies in the bed, taking all the precautions to do so safetly, where we actually manage to get some sleep, vs what would happen if i made them sleep in the cribs and was up every half an hour when they wake up and i would undoubtedly fall asleep accidentally while trying to comfort them in the bed in an unsafe way

FWIW, my child never woke up every half-hour, he was a solid 3-hour sleeper from the beginning and in his own crib. We have a video monitor, so if we did stir we could easily look at him and know all was well without having to disturb anyone.

Kimee13 · September 2011

Seriously, are you calling me a liar? Get off the internet and talk to a Medical Examiner, Police Officer or EMT and see what they think about these "studies"(I guarantee that most of them do not sleep with their children). Talk to ONE person who has had to investigate one of these completely avoidable deaths.

As for your "studies" you can list them all day long and it won't mean much to me, most studies are biased in some part. Like I said, I go on ACTUAL knowledge (MD's) and real life experience(my husbands unfortunately) and that is what comforts me in knowing my child is getting the best possible care. Do what you want, but I will continue to sleep well, as will my child in our own beds

mpstochlinski8 · September 2011

LOs aren't here yet but I plan to sleep on a futon in their nursery for a little while til I get the nursing and night time changing routine down well or til they sleep a little longer through the night. Their room is right next to ours but we also plan to buy the angel heart video/sound/movement monitor in case I decide I'm better off in my own room for whatever reason.

Our bed isn't large enough to co-sleep with twins and 2 cats but I think I'd be nervous to do that anyhow. Just last night I had a nightmare and kicked so hard the cats flew out of bed and I knocked my giant pillow stash right off the bed. Can't imagine if it was a sudden arm movement and LOs were right there!

5bears · September 2011

Kimee13:

Seriously, are you calling me a liar? Get off the internet and talk to a Medical Examiner, Police Officer or EMT and see what they think about these "studies"(I guarantee that most of them do not sleep with their children). Talk to ONE person who has had to investigate one of these completely avoidable deaths.

As for your "studies" you can list them all day long and it won't mean much to me, most studies are biased in some part. Like I said, I go on ACTUAL knowledge (MD's) and real life experience(my husbands unfortunately) and that is what comforts me in knowing my child is getting the best possible care. Do what you want, but I will continue to sleep well, as will my child in our own beds

Thanks for the common sense reply!

Some actual peer reviewed literature: Pediatrics Vol. 112 No. 4 October 1, 2003
pp. 883 -889
(doi: 10.1542/peds.112.4.883) "The risk of suffocation was approximately 40 times higher for infants in adult beds compared with those in cribs. "

shellybird101 · September 2011

u can get arms reach for cheap on craigslist.

jscagcia1 · September 2011

I have also heard studies have proven this. I have not researched it myself, though. I got this information from my doula and my massage therapist. My husband and I have talked about the idea of co-sleeping when our little guy comes but we are looking at buying a co-sleeper that will go between us in our bed. I wouldn't feel comfortable just laying him in bed with us. I've read just recently on the 0-3 month board that one mom's baby worked his way down in the sheets from wiggling during the night. It freaked her out and that would really scare me too. I'm sure because of instincts you sleep much lighter with the baby there but waking up frantic and wondering how long the baby had been down in the sheets would really bother me and make me feel guilty.

somewhereincali:
The mother actually acts as a sort of breathing coach for the babies, it isn't that you hear that they stop breathing (which I agree would be impossible in your sleep!) but that the baby follows your breath. The scientific articles don't have a clear reason for this but they do see that the breathing and oxygen levels of babies are better when sleeping next to mom. The recommendation for babies not to sleep with their parents is based on a flawed study that looked at the number of deaths of babies in adult beds but didn't look at crib deaths or other factors that contributed to the bed deaths. I'm not trying to say you have to sleep with your baby, of course its not the right choice foe everyone, but it's working well for us for now. It's just a shame that the information isn't more accurate for people who do deicde its something they want to do!

FabulousMrs.P · September 2011

We have a bassinet that my SIL used. We are using that downstairs in the living room. Upstairs we're just going to use the crib at night. The baby's room is right next to ours so we can hear him or her. And my husband is a light sleeper so having the baby in the room with us might be a problem. That said, we can always move the bassinet upstairs if we have to.

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