Tears for my lost daughter. Death mentioned

pottermommy · September 2011

Today is the day I have been dreading for a week. It has been three years since I held my gorgeous baby girl in my arms. My DH has closed the door to the room cuz he can't talk about it, and he can't stand to see me cry. My fam and IL say I am going to hurt Gabriel b/c I am too sad. I don't see how they expect me to make it go away. I keep replaying the Dr. calling her time of death. I keep hearing the long beep from the heart monitor. I keep seeing her eyes. She was two years old, how do you get over getting a call at work telling you your two year old has drowned in the bathtub? How do you expect me to not be sad. She was so amazingly perfect for having such a hard pregnancy and terrieble birth story. I can't talk to anyone about it because it "hurts them to think about it" and see no point in going to a counseler because it isn't like he knows how I feel about my dd. So I am sitting in a dark room with only this computer on feeling totally alone and I am pretty sure I will run out of tears soon. I don't want to make anyone sad, I really don't that is why I am in here all alone so I don't make anyone else sad. But I needed to say something...somewhere....and I hope you ladies don't mind.

LoriJ11 · September 2011

Huge hugs to you on such a difficult day. I can not imagine. Hang in there. T&P your way.

Pdxmom73 · September 2011

I can not even begin to imagine. {{{hugs}}}

NY-allie · September 2011

<Hugs> I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

JoAnna914 · September 2011

I am so, so sorry for your loss and all that you are going through. My thoughts are with you today.

LDW80 · September 2011

I can't imagine how you must feel and especially since you have no one to turn to IRL for extra support. I am so very sorry. Thinking of you today and sending you lots and lots of hugs!

SockMonkeySam · September 2011

T&P's for a hard day. I am sitting in a dark room today bawling too. I'm so sad and I don't know why. We can cry together. ((HUGS))

jaxie320 · September 2011

I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you on this difficult day.

emd2887 · September 2011

(((HUGE HUGS))) I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through.

rock-elle · September 2011

How aweful, im so sorry for your loss

mandy6418 · September 2011

I am so so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers today. :::HUGS:::

docmay25 · September 2011

I can not imagine the pain you are feeling today. I am so sorry. I will tell you my experience, only because it involves dealing with a living child...but doesn't compare to yours. My surviving son is identical twins with the my son who was stillborn. We have been honest with him from the beginning about his brother's death. We use terms he can understand and keep it simple. BUT he has seen me cry...many times. We are not danaging him because of this. it is good for him to see us grieve. I believe we are teaching him that it is healthy and okay to have these feelings. Seeing us work thru our feelings about the loss of his brother, seems to help him feel better about talking to us about his feelings towards it. So, you do what you feel is right. Don't think that you are doing anythign bad by showing your emotions.

I hope you get thru the day okay. Be gentle with yourself. My heart goes out to you. I will be thinking of you and your angel today.

bbhalphen · September 2011

I am so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. Sending the biggest hugs today, and lots of T&P for you and your family. I'm sorry your family and ILs are saying that stuff about you being sad. I don't think it will hurt Gabriel. You need to and have the right to grieve.

OwlSLP · September 2011

I am so sorry for your loss and that you are alone today. I do not think you will hurt Gabriel with your grief and I am sorry that was said to you. Sending you lots of thoughts and prayers today.

jkfranklin · September 2011

I'm so sorry. Giant hugs to you. Please do what you need to do to grieve. More hugs.

clarks415 · September 2011

(((HUGS))) I can't imagine what you are going through. I know I can only imagine how painful the loss is... T&P are with you and your DH. Maybe not a counselor but a support group could help.

easjer05 · September 2011

Sweet heart, you beautiful mother, of course you are sad. Of course you are upset and hurting and grieving. I cannot imagine the pain of that call or your enormous loss or what you've dealt with for the last three years.

But you are not alone. There are a number of us here with open arms, ready to sit with you, to abide with you, who will gladly take on some of your pain for awhile. It does make sad to hear about your perfect little girl, because it is a tragedy that she is not here with you now excited about her baby brother.

I will think of you and your family today, and I invite you to talk more about her. Tell me about her. Tell me what she looked like when she was dreaming, tell me what her favorite stuffed animal was, tell me anything you want. And not just me - there is another place you are always welcome, where we will always share your pain - www.glowinthewoods.com is a site for babylost parents of all sorts and a good resource. We know how it is to lose your child, and we are always here to abide with you.

Be sad. It's ok to be sad and more than sad. It is wrong that your baby girl is not here, and there is not a thing wrong in mourning her, today of all days. We may be separated by a computer, but I am sitting here with you, dear one.

williams4me · September 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss, many thoughts and prayers with you. You are in my thoughts today. (((Hugs)))

Mrs Nice · September 2011

Hugs! I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. You do whatever you need to do today and don't worry what others say. You have every right to grieve.

Mom2Cinderella · September 2011

There are no words to express how sorry I am that you are dealing with such a painful loss and memory. I can only pray that you get through the anniversary and are comforted by those around you. You have every right to grieve and no one should expect you to just move on and forget it. Your new baby is not suffering because you are sad. You don't need to worry about that on top of your feelings. Hugs to you and your family.

ZZsmommy · September 2011

You have suffered more than any mother should ever have to suffer. Hugs and prayers to you. I wish there were some way to ease your pain. You have every right and every reason on earth to cry. Please know, you are not alone. Many hearts are breaking for you today. Mine is one of them.

Junebug060609 · September 2011

Big hugs for you and sweet Kamryn.

psumel13 · September 2011

I can not even imagine the pain you are feeling! I know at your little girl is looking down on you and will be Gabriel's guardian angel! I wish I was there to give you a big hug! No one should ever tell you how you should feel, Kamryn knows she is loved and was very lucky to have you as her mommy even though her stay here was too short!

karma79 · September 2011

You can always talk to us! I am so sorry for your loss. I was thinking of you this morning. I wish you peace. Big hug! If you need anything let us know - it's a sisterhood on this board and we will help hold you up. Take care.

martinimomma · September 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. You will not hurt Gabriel by feeling sad and emotional. I would really recommend that you reconsider the counselor angle, though -- those that work with parents that have experienced loss are trained in helping you process those feelings whatever they are -- they will "know" how you feel to that extent and might really be able to help you work with your mixed feelings of sadness for your daughter and happiness for your pregnancy. I bet your OB could refer you to a resource if you are not aware of any in your community. ((Hugs))

purplepolish · September 2011

I'm so sorry. I hope your family comes around and is more understanding. Best of luck today.

NewzieMom · September 2011

Hugs. I am so sorry you have no one to talk to about your daughter. I would definitely talk to a counseler... I think it would help just to have someone who will listen to you.

kate6267 · September 2011

{{{BIGHUGEHUGEHUGS!}}}

I am so sorry that you loss your sweet Kamryn. Your heart must ache and your family sounds like they aren't being as supportive as they should be. I am so sorry that she died. It is so unfair. Always know that we are here for you!

D&D4Ever7 · September 2011

I am so sorry to hear about all the emotions you are going through today. Sending you lots of hugs for this difficult day. I am glad you are letting your thoughts out here. Don't keep it inside. We are here to listen. ((((HUGS))))

lalaellac · September 2011

Im sending you lot of hugs and many T&P!!!

jen629 · September 2011

{{{HUGS}}} I cant even imagine what you are going through

Froggy76 · September 2011

Thinking of you today. Huge ((HUGS))

ColleenS629 · September 2011

Big hugs! No one should expect you not to be sad and you are not hurting your DS.

coreysmomma · September 2011

I am so sorry. I don't even know what to say.

EricaK28 · September 2011

Huge hugs I am sorry you have no one to talk to IRL. I agree I would speak to a counselor so you have someone to talk. I went to a counselor after my miscarriage when I was having a hard time. You greiving over your daughter is not going to cause any harm to your son.

StephK86 · September 2011

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I am sorry you're having a hard day and no one IRL is there to support you. You are not hurting your baby by grieving. Anyone who tells you different ignore them. It's better to get your feelings out then to hold them in and upset your belly. I know how it feels when it seems like you're the only one in the world still grieving for your child. My family still grieves and so does SO but in a much different way then I do. They seem to hide their grief and it makes me feel really alone. Cry as much as you need and talk to us all you want. I'm having a really hard time right now too. If you ever need someone to talk to one on one I am more then willing. Sending you a ton of hugs, thoughts and prayers.

pennynjon · September 2011

I am so so sorry for your loss. I don't think any amount of time ever makes that pain go away. You are not harming your son by being sad or emotional.. I am sorry you don't have someone in your family to talk to. You can talk to us about it anytime. ((hugs))

rvandiver0705 · September 2011

I am so sorry that no one is supporting you today of all days. I hope that you take all the time that you need to mourn.

sunshinenva · September 2011

I can't imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry sweetie. Don't let anyone rush your time of moarning. I would have to ask that you consider counseling. I understand where you are coming from as far as the counselor not understanding...I felt the same way, but I have found counseling to be very beneficial for me and my marriage. I needed and still need coping skills to deal with the loss of our angel babies. I am keeping you in thought and prayer. HUGS

jertie · September 2011

I am so, so sorry. Of course you're sad - there is no reason not to be. You lost the center of your universe in a tragic, painful way. I'm so sorry that you have this pain in your life, but I think that acknowledging it and feeling it is so important for you. Ignoring it doesn't help you heal - and by ignoring it (in my mind) - it's almost as if people forget that she even existed. I will be thinking of you and your little girl today - and sending you ((MASSIVE HUGS)).

germswif E · September 2011

(((Hugs)))

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your precious daughter in my thoughts and prayers.

Tears for my lost daughter. Death mentioned

Re: Tears for my lost daughter. Death mentioned

Choose Another Board

Search Boards