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Toddlers: 24 Months+
Taking LO to un-child proofed family members houses
I have several family members (my mom, my dad, and my sister all live separately) who complain that we never come to their house, they always have to come to ours.
So I try to comply. I tell myself its good practice about learning how to act in others home. That said, this is a really hard age for me right now. He is climbing everything, and into everything. And it doesn't help that none of them have childproofed one inch of their home.
Take last week...went to my moms for dinner. Brought a dvd and a toy...he wanted nothing to do with them. Chased him around as he made mess after mess...took her games off the shelves, spilled a cup she left out, this and that. Totally not enjoyable for me and we left as soon as we ate. I am pregnant and tired and I don't have as much patience as I need for this situation.
We do time outs when needed...but honestly I dont feel he is being bad...just curious/exploring things that he can easily get to because the house isn't set up for a 2 year old. And I don't expect these people to change their house just for my kid either. Its just frustrating and I dread it. I know its a phase, just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat.
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Re: Taking LO to un-child proofed family members houses
She has toys of her own too, but he's not interested...she might pick something up occassionally at a garage sale, but its usually the wrong age for him. And to tell you the truth, she rarely gets on the floor to play with him, she is too busy cooking/whatever. And I'm not the least bit worried about him getting hurt, as I am watching him so carefully. Its that there is so much clutter sitting out, I can't possibly keep him away from it all. At my house, he can touch whatever he can reach, and we put away things that he can't touch. Ugh. It will just take practice I suppose.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
Great idea! I think they'd see the truth then. Either that or they'll child-proof better.
The only child proofed thing we have in our house is our kitchen cabinets and that's because they were there before we moved in (although it would have been done). I have a very precocious 2.5 year old and practically nothing in my house is child proofed.
We give stern warnings and discipline (time out) rather than relying on child proofing to make sure the kid is safe. It is rare that she touches something she isn't supposed to. IMHO the only things that need to be child proofed are cabinets that have medicines and chemicals.
My kid isn't perfect but she knows not to go up stairs on a whim, or touch a hot stove or go into the bathroom when we aren't around (we don't lock doors but she knows a closed door means "do not enter"). She knows what items she can play with and what she can't play with- all without the need for even so much as a babygate. In fact the only time we take the babygates out is when we have other children visit.
I think maybe you need to reapproach the issue and start relying less on your child proofing measures so that you can enjoy your time at other people's homes. It is not THEIR responsibility to protect YOUR child, it's yours and that means teaching your child (perhaps without the use of child proofing) what is safe and what isn't.
That's my .02
We had this experience on our vacation last week when visiting my grandmother in FL. We were limited in how many toys we could bring along, and her house is like a China shop- Lenox figurines, china plates, bowls, picture frames, ALL Tiffany lamps my grandfather made, coral pieces, etc. It was awful and DH and I made a pact to not go visit again unless we stay on a condo close by. While I do think it is importnt to teach your child how to act in someone else's house- what they can touch vs. not, BUT our week was terrible because she couldn't be left alone for more than 2 seconds at ANY time. This was difficult because I'm nursing DD2, so DH was constantly on DD1s tail every minute and she did NOT like it. Later in the week she got an idea of what she couldn't touch, but then she just found something else "new" to her. She was just exploring and I get that, but it was not a good week for us. On top of that, she didn't take 1 nap all week so she was crabby, not listening as well, etc. It was awful, and we certainly learned our lesson!
Needless to say, DH and I are planning a weekend away before I go back to work in November! Haha.
Good luck!
Christmas PJ's!
My MIL's house is like this. I don't think she's aware of it, but she has about 30 breakable things placed around her home that are exactly at toddler eye-level.
Another interesting item is a partially broken nightlight that she keeps plugged in to an outlet at floor level. It's only the bulb, with no covering, and it's hot. And this woman has 5 grandchildren under the age of 6.
I know it's not her duty to make her home friendly to young children. I just come to her house prepared that I have to be on top of DS while we are there. Well, and now DD, as she could easily reach some of these things as well.
We have pretty much stopped taking DS over to my IL's. My MIL is a hoarder and there are baskets of expired meds, cleaning supplies, ect in easily accesible areas. On various occasions MIL has set her medication on the edge of the kitchen table, out of the vials, to take them "a little later." During the same time visit my BIL (still lives at home) left a cup of coffee sitting on the edge of the counter which DS tried to grab and spilled on himself. Thank God it wasn't terribly hot. Last time we were there he set the coffee on the counter again. I moved it away from the edge and he made a snide comment about my "parenting skills."
Needless to say, if we have to go there it isn't a long visit, never during meals, and I keep DS as close to me as humanly possible.
But yes, on some play-dates we've gone to..the home has been set up for that mom's child..so things DS wants to get into are totally different from what that child wants. He has always been more interested in things that are not toys: electronics, doors, cupboards, computers.... if these kinds of things are available he'll play with the toys for 2 minutes then be off exploring! A few occasions I've gone to a mom gathering and while the other moms sit and chat and can relax with tea while their kids play with the toys provided...I'm running around in the background making sure DS isn't getting into their underwear drawer or dishwasher or computer or all the NON toys haha :-D It's better now that he listens and interacts more with the other kids but around when he was 1-1 1/2, I didn't go to many play-dates..I hosted them!
We only put things out of reach if they could hurt her, or are highly valuable ($ or sentimental). Anything else, we teach her she can't touch for that exact reason - because not everywhere we go will be babyproofed. She knows not to touch something when we say not to. I don't believe in taking everything away because then they don't learn that there are things they shouldn't touch - like at other peoples' houses.
This. Exactly.
I agree with this 120%! I have 2U2 and my house is not child proof- we have outlet covers that's it. We taught them at a very young age to listen: no stairs, no touch, etc. I have collectables within hands reach and I've never had issues with them touching them- we just taught them. They also were taught to clean up their messes- I don't allow them to get every toy out of the bins- they can get 1 bin at a time and after to clean it up before getting another one out. They can't move on to one activity until the previous one is cleaned- it keeps everything organized. And of course, they are no allowed to jump on furniture- if they jump on my furniture they will jump on others. When we go to others houses they have a book bag that I pack washable crayons, coloring book, a few books, cars and a few trains- not a ton of stuff but enough to keep them happy.
We have outlet covers, and the laundry room and kitchen are closed off (dangerous things in both). And one cabinet with our glassware is locked, because he likes to open and slam the door, which can knock the glasses out/ break them. It's like a compulsion..
Otherwise DS knows what not to play with. When he was younger though (1-1 1/2) he was quite tenacious and we had to keep more things up out of his reach (he was not nice to electronics so we kept them up out of his way). But gradually I've geared back the "proofing" and geared up the communication and he's pretty good at knowing what to touch or not to touch. He knows how to turn on the stereo and set it to the right "input", and then turn on the DVD player when it's time to watch his show..otherwise he won't touch the electronics :-) He just seems to forget it at other people's homes because everything is new and exciting, so he gets lost in exploration.